New for 2005, ties inside the collar....

The new contestants for Apprentice 3 have been announced. I'm hoping Danny Kastner starts a new fashion trend - as he wears his tie inside his collar instead of outside.

Best line(s) read on another person's blog today...

"Babe? How much NyQuil have you had today? "
"By itself or with the vodka?"

Effective parenting without spankings?

Is your child about to make a decision you wish they wouldn't? Like join the chess club? Or announce they want to become a comedian when family tradition states they should become a lawyer?

Well, you know how much influence you really have on your child - practically none. But a good beating out by the bike racks at school will change their mind in a jiffy. That's right - Bullies For Hire will put them on the straight and narrow.

Spidey........cells..........weakening...

My new car (bought last March) has a few luxury amenities. Like seat heaters, for example. Darlene just loves this feature, being most intolerant of the cold. There have been few times I have been more afraid than the time I recently went to turn said heater off, before her posterior had a chance to get sufficiently warm. My problem? I guess I have this weird fear that if the seat heaters are left on too long, they'll drain my battery and I won't be able to start my car on the next attempt. Is this a baseless fear? Oh, very likely. I mean, I've seriously gone different routes to get where I'm going just to give the alternator a chance to put a little more charge into the battery after turning her heater off. Do I need therapy?

Things I resolve to do in 2005

1. Refuse to go on Atkins diet. Or South Beach for that matter.
2. Take more pictures.
3. Try to ignore the blatant dents and scratches on my car left by inconsiderate parking lot users.
4. Give away any clothes that have been hanging in my closet (unworn) for more than 12 months.
5. Stop getting upset whenever I find those plastic tags lying around that Darlene has cut off new clothes.
6. Eat more fibre.
7. Accept that red-necks' opinions are just as valid as my own.
8. Give the hair-cutters at First Choice another chance.
9. Try to contain the pee-splash from going everywhere.
10. Spend any money that has been sitting in my account for more than 12 months.

Mother nature spares the beasts

While over a hundred thousand people were killed by the recent tsunami, dead animals haven't been found. There have been many eyewitness accounts in the past of birds and animals migrating before earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. Experts say the animals may have heard the flood approaching, felt the earthquake or sensed changes in air pressure alerting them of the danger.

I'm only telling you as my friend....

Have I ever mentioned that I live a double life? It's true. I moonlight as a spy for the Motherland. Here's my ID to prove it....

Would you like one too? No problem.

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!

Oh my God, is this funny or what? More signs you don't want to see at Worth1000.com

Laced with moronic acid

Diabolic acid - it's evil stuff.
Per-iodic acid - it only works some of the time.
Moronic acid - it's a bit silly.

OK, but seriously, I'm not making these up. These and more Molecules with Silly or Unusual Names.

How racial bias affects our perceptions

Can you sort people into their races by looking at their pictures? You're given 20 to sort into one of 5 different race sets.

Cause there's only one oven

A few weeks back I may have mentioned hosting Darlene's work's Xmas party. We were providing 2 of the "meats" for the event, a nice ham and a stuffed turkey. Problem was, there wasn't enough room in the oven for both. We almost abandoned the idea of cooking both when I came up with an untested idea - slow cook the ham in a crock pot. I cooked it in a nice mustard / brown sugar sauce. You know what? That sucker came out so tender, the meat literally fell apart.

Fave dumb quote of 2004

"You've done a nice job decorating the White House." —Pop star Jessica Simpson, upon being introduced to Interior Secretary Gale Norton while touring the White House. Read all 25.

Stay in jail Martha, Darlene is in the groove...

Darlene recently redesigned our main bathroom. I didn't realize the drastic change until I found an old pic of the original look. After is on the right, naturally.

Rock'n lingo

Have you ever noticed how rock artists, or just music artists in general, have their own way of pronouncing words that is different from the norm? Take the word "baby" for example. You and I would pronounce that as baybee. But in the music world, most artists would say it bay-beh. Why is that? I get odd looks when I call my wife baybee - I think she would turn and run if I ever said bay-beh. Here's another example, the word "I". In our everyday pronunciation, it would be said eye. But to a rocker, it's ahh. How odd. "Tired" should be tie-errrd, but instead, it's tahd. It's as if singers suddenly adopt a southern drawl as their common dialect.

If you've noticed any common mis-pronunciations in your favourite music, please add them via the comments.....

Real cardiac

I was browsing through my music collection the other day and came across this gem. "Sheer Heart Attack" by Queen, off the News of the World album.

Well you're just 17 and all you wanna do is disappear
You know what I mean there's a lot of space between your ears

I can remember rocking out to this tune with Shawn and Glen Drover, who lived next door to me where I grew up. Now here's a piece of music that, 27 years later, would fit right in next to Blink 182 and the White Stripes.

If I just stay perfectly still....

I just had to post this pic. We took it when our Taz was just a kitten. I thought it was very funny how he just blended in with the other stuffed animals. We made this picture into our Christmas cards one year.

Seasons greetings

Here's wishing all of you a great holiday. May it be joyful, relaxing and filled with treats.
Your pal Karl

Your jukebox, uncensored

This is the latest meme:

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Turn on the "shuffle" option.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
6. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you'd like.

Here's my list:

Tom Tom Club - Love To Love You Baby
Seal - Prayer For The Dying
James Brown - Papa's Got A Brand New Bag
Pink Floyd - Great Gig In The Sky
FC Kahuna - Hayling
The Herbaliser Band - Forty Winks
Big Wreck - Blown Wide Open
Erykah Badu - On and On
Air - Talisman
Go Home Productions - Rapture Riders

Must be something in the water

OK, men - quick poll: How many of you would be just a tad suspicious if your wife called you at work and said "Come pick me up at the local diner, I've just given birth to our new baby"? OK, how about if there had been no previous evidence that she was ever pregnant?

Independant films everyone should see

The 10 best films from AtomFilms is out. It's too bad we have to depend on the Internet to see gems like these.

Here comes the sun......it's alright

A solar-power project built by a Berkeley company may point Germany toward a pollution-free future. Set in the heart of Bavarian farmland, the 30-acre facility went online earlier this month, becoming the biggest solar energy plant in the world. Germany's approach is being closely watched by officials in California and elsewhere as a possible model for developing renewable energy. PowerLight's three Bavarian solar parks, consisting of 57,600 silicon-and- aluminum panels, will generate 10 megawatts of electricity -- enough to power 9,000 German homes. The amount of electricity produced is much less than power plants fueled by coal or natural gas, but with very low operating costs, the solar project is expected quickly to turn a profit while emitting zero pollution. The country is now the No. 1 world producer of wind energy, with more than 16,000 windmills generating 39 percent of the world total, and it is fast closing in on Japan for the lead in solar power. Wind and solar energy together provide more than 10 percent of the nation's electricity, a rate that is expected to double by 2020.

Windmills and solar panel farms are considered by many to be a blight on the landscape, but this is at least a step in the right direction. In Germany, any surplus power you generate can be sold back to the utility company at a price 10 times higher than what they sell to you. Read more.

Jesus in your heart and a charge in your toothbrush

I belong to a forum that was created for alumni of an IT school I used to teach at. The question was posed: How do the higher end of electric toothbrushes charge when you put them in their cradle? If one examines the cradle and toothbrush they will see all plastic, no metal contacts whatsoever! You can’t send an electric current through plastic!

And here was a posted answer: The toothbrush uses the power of Jesus to charge. The cradle has a cross inside of it and thus a direct connection to Jesus. Actually you don't even need the cradle. Just go to church on Sunday and hold your toothbrush high in the air. Jesus will smile upon you and charge your toothbrush. Keep Jesus in your heart and say goodbye to satan and goodbye to gingivitis!

Those Swedes are geniuses

This could revolutionize drinking! Raspberry Gummi shot glasses. Take jello shooters to a tasty new extreme. Chill these jiggers for 30 minutes, then it’s bottoms up. Drink. Eat. Repeat. No clean-up and no evidence.

Carrey on....Carrey on....

Check out this home-made Flash presentation of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody set to photos.

Insert your own title here.....

Seen on the sign for the 'Love Boutique' today: Santa left the "special toys" here.

Unsolved mysteries

Women tend to take particular care in their dress and deportment prior to going out. The makeup has to be just right, the clothes have to match and still be stylish, the hair should be well coiffed. As such, we men often look to women for advice on whether we look suitable for public display, considering their expertise in these matters.

So that's why on the way out the door, I will often ask Darlene if I look OK - expecting an honest answer. Nine times out of ten, the answer is invariably 'yes'. But a quick glance in the mirror often reveals shirt collar half-flipped up, hair gone awry or food still staining the corner of my mouth.

So how is it that you have the attention to detail required to make sure you look so good, and still be able to ignore blatant deportment faux-pas(s) on our part?

Viva l'Espana...viva la siesta

For centuries, heading home mid-afternoon for lunch and a snooze was regarded as something of a national right in Spain. Long days at work and late nights with friends have always been common there and a siesta makes it all more manageable. But the country's corporate culture now spurns the idea of daytime dozing as being unproductive, so the siesta is fast becoming an endangered institution. Now Spain is becoming a nation of sleep deprivation. Spaniards have high rates of accidents on the road, at home, and in the workplace. But the rest of Europe could arguably also learn from Spain, which perhaps should not be so quick to renounce the siesta. The traditional two-hour snooze may be a little excessive, but doctors say a brief shut-eye at midday helps keep stress and heart disease at bay.Link for more.

I think our society would benefit greatly from a little nap-time around noon.

Riddle me this....

Speaking of Sgt Pepper's.......ever notice the badge Paul is wearing on his arm? It's the O.P.P. (Ontario Provincial Police) badge.

A Face in the club

Have you ever wondered who all the people are on the cover of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band? Wonder no more.

Frosh week Monday 3pm: Exorcism

A Vatican university will teach Roman Catholic priests "Exorcism and prayers of liberation." The courses will deal with demonology, the presence of the notion of the devil in sacred texts, and the pathology and medical treatment of people suffering from possession. Two exorcists will give testimony explaining how to distinguish between someone who is ill and one who is 'possessed by demons'.

Imagine what weekends in dorms would be like if this kind of course was offered at our universities....

Just subtle enough?

Inappropriate holiday cards from Something Awful.

Now where did I hide that thing......?

Everybody loves Easter Eggs (in this case I'm referring to the definition: an unexpected hidden surprise, perhaps a message, an image, or a sound, found in a Web site or program or DVD). Well, if you like DVD Easter Eggs your search is over. Example:

Star Wars Trilogy:Insert the fourth special features disc of the set. From the Main Menu go to the 'Video Games and Still Galleries' section. On the following screen use your remote control to type '11' and then press the Enter key. Depending on your player you may have to press the '10+' and then the '1' key. Next, type '3' followed by the Enter key and then '8' once again followed by Enter. This will give you access to an almost 5-minute long blooper reel with the DVD credits, consisting of hilarious clips from all three films.

Super team laser nuclear power shot gift!

It was time to replace our aging digital camera. Primary reason - Darlene doesn't find it easy to use. Enter the Canon PowerShot A75. Comfortable to hold; simple to use; uses regular AA batteries; fully automatic (but only if you want);but the best part is the price - $300CDN. So if you're thinking of getting a digital camera this Christmas, you owe it to yourself to give this one a look.

How handy is that?

Type in the name of a city and find out if you need a jacket there. Those Internet people think of everything.... ; )

Wikipedia....the free encyclopedia

Honey does not spoil. Because of its high sugar concentration, it kills bacteria by osmotically lysing them. Natural airborne yeasts can not become active in it because the moisture content is too low. Natural, raw, honey varies from 14% to 18% moisture content. As long as the moisture content remains under 18%, virtually no organism can successfully multiply to significant amounts in honey.

Man I love the Internet...

Jammin'

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas - Weebl style.

Just in time for the holidays

From the people who brought you "Alien in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies"...

It's a Wonderful Life, in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

So how come it's not on the soundtrack?

Check out these lines:

Mine’s a tale that can’t be told, my freedom I hold dear;
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air;
T’was in the darkest depths of mordor, I met a girl so fair,
But gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her.

Sounds like something from Lord of the Rings don'it? But in fact it's lyrics from "Ramble On" by none other than Led Zeppelin.....

Gingerhead

I had to steal this pic from Bacon & Eh's. I just can't stop laughing at it and had to share. Thanks Kim.

86 Rules of boozing

There's more to it than tipping a glass and acting foolish. My current fave is:

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

For example....

On a web design usability web site, an article on useless clutter on web sites is, itself, lost in the clutter of said web site. Brilliant.

Thanks to J-Walk blog

Not to be stored with Gatorade

Just add water and this powdered urine will help you pass those random substance abuse tests. For those drug-dependant people on your gift list.

Shout it from the hilltops!

The Mozilla foundation has been raising funds for an ad in the New York Times promoting the superb Firefox browser, that has now been downloaded over 11,000,000 times. Today, the ad ran in the Times.