Small things 29 Sep

• I’m not saying that I’m looking forward to the NHL hockey season much, but I just changed my ringtone to the old theme music for Hockey Night in Canada.
• I just watched my first vehicle repossession (not mine) out my window at work.
• The most confusing thing about the English language: When someone says, “This is my baby.” they could literally be referring to anything. A car. A pet. A computer. A spouse. A stereo system. Even a baby. 
• Quick question: Is the phrase “going to chipotle with aristotle" funnier if you mispronounce chipotle, or aristotle? Or both?
• I’m sorry but candy corn does not look like corn. Miniature traffic safety cones maybe, but not corn.
• A meeting without food should be an email.
• Scuffle. Brawl. Melee. Altercation. Grapple. Scrimmage. Spar. Them’s fightin’ words.
• Home is not where you were born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease. ~Naguib Ahfouz
• If you want resolutions to issues that won’t get tackled by the two main political parties, then you have to pressure the government to adopt proportional representation. It’s as simple as that. 
• Je m’aple syrup.
• Biscuits and gravy is pretty much just really wet flour poured onto really dry flour.
• We didn’t have to wear bike helmets when I was young. If we fell, we just……. Sorry, what was the question?
• The little mini rye chips / toasts in the party mix. Mine.

Resuable shopping bag#1: Do you think he’s going to remember to bring some of us into the grocery store this time?

Resuable shopping bag#2: Sshhh! [snicker]

Me inside the grocery store: “Dammit! Not again.”

Replace your kids with cats

 

Artists that debuted in 1981

Wall of Voodoo

The Go-Gos

Men at Work

Duran Duran

Phil Collins (solo)

Payolas

Eurythmics

Romeo Void

Jane Siberry

Kim Wilde

Debbie Harry (solo)

Level 42

New Order

Modern English

Luther Vandross

Soft Cell

Heaven 17

Thompson Twins

Stray Cats

Spoons

Depeche Mode

Sheena Easton

Tom Tom Club

Motley Crue

Toni Basil

Jump in the pile they said

 

Explain duties and tariffs to me like I’m 10

I am a right amateur when it comes to understanding how the economy works, but the one thing that has always been perplexing to me is the concept of duties and how they supposedly help the Canadian economy. The concept seems simple enough on paper, if you want to buy something that we don't make in Canada, you don't have to pay duties, because you are not potentially harming an existing domestic industry. If you choose to buy something American for example that is also manufactured in Canada, you're going to pay duties on it as a means of both paying restitution to the industry you're harming, and as a deterrent against buying something not made in this country. So for example, if Canada has a linen industry, and you choose to buy linens made in Malaysia, you're going to pay duties for your purchasing choice, because theoretically you have caused harm to a domestic industry. That sounds great, doesn't it? Buy local and save money. Well, I have observed two glaring flaws in this strategy. 

If I am in the linen industry and I only make lower grade linen, if I am receiving funds from duties because people chose to buy luxury linens from another country, this doesn’t motivate me to make luxury linen. I make money from selling what I do make, and I also receive money from the grade of products I choose not to make. This is based on my assumption that some of the tariffs collected somehow make their way to the harmed industry. If this isn’t how it works, please educate me, I’ll gladly set the record straight. Also, if this is not how it works, I’d like to know where these duties end up and who benefits from them.

But here’s what bothers me the most about the scheme. If there are duties on footwear, to protect the Canadian footwear manufacturing industry, all types of footwear are lumped together. Which means that if there is a specialized type of footwear that no Canadian companies offer, your only choice is to buy from another country. But you’ll still pay duties. Let’s expand on that. There are a couple footwear companies based in the US that specialize in shoes for people with severe foot problems. Some of these shoes are even sold in Canadian stores. But they are much more expensive than other shoes, and the Canadian retailers don’t carry every style or size that the shoe brands make. So, you buy from the source, in the US. Regardless, you pay through the nose because you’re not only paying duties, you’re paying the horrible exchange rate between Canadian and US currency. But the local industry doesn’t make these kinds of shoes. For this we are punished as consumers?

Worse, there is no recourse. If you feel that you are paying duties on something that shouldn’t have duties applied under the circumstances, there is nowhere to go to appeal that I am aware of. You either pay the duties and get your product, or don’t pay and the product is sent back to the source. Maybe. Meanwhile, the protected industry is free to continue making what they do, and not making what they won’t, and we pay the ultimate price.

One last thing. If you recall, many decades ago, our governments promised that the free trade agreement would eliminate most if not all tariffs on goods crossing the border. Unless I misunderstand, this hasn’t happened. Duties on American products continue to this day.

Bigger?

 

By like what? 0.5 grams?

Things I learned lately 29 Sep

• Ontario is putting a lot of its future power eggs in the nuclear basket.
• Swiss university students broke the World Record for electric car acceleration, achieving 0 - 100 km/h in just 0.956 seconds.
  
  
  
• On September 3rd, 1987, Dic Ann's restaurant on Boul. Pie-IX in Montreal-North set a Guinness record by serving 1,306 cheeseburgers in 60 minutes. SPCUM station 45 officers maintained security around the eatery at the corner of De Castille and the lineup extended up to Monselet St. The cheeseburgers were free.
• The Fox network passed on The Sopranos television series.
• All of the honey bees you see foraging are females. 95% of a hive’s bees are female.
• Male honey bees only exist to congregate with other males from other hives to mate with a queen from another hive (for genetic diversity). They die immediately after mating. They don’t even have stingers. 
• Male bees are kicked out of the hive when the hive is preparing for winter. They do not survive long since they don’t know how to forage and there’s little for them to eat anyway.
• Bees only forage within a 2 mile radius of their hive. This is one of the reasons why monoculture farming is not healthy for bees.
• The 5 most efficient EVs available in 2023 are: Chevy Bolt; Hyundai Kona EV; Kia Niro EV; Tesla Model 3 (RWD); Hyundai Ioniq 6.
• Finland’s National Day for Failure, has been celebrated on October 13th every year since 2010.
• Pyrolized used coffee grounds can be substituted for silica sand on the fabrication of concrete, and it makes the concrete 30% stronger.

Mortal enemy

 

Small things 22 Sep

• My prediction: The UCP will promise the moon prior to a referendum on an AB pension to replace the CPP, and if the majority says 'yes, give us our own pension plan', only then will we find out that much of what was promised can't be delivered. If my prediction comes true, I hope a giant class action lawsuit is filed to undo the pension grab.
• The only thing I’d want my child’s teachers to inform me is how well they’re doing in school.
• There will come a day, not too far in the future, when car makers start bragging about how awesome and special their electric motors are, in the way they used to do about their gas combustion engines.
• Why doesn’t someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how brown your toast is while it’s toasting?
• Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  -Lao Tzu
• How many times do I need to rinse a spoon in the sink before I finally realize the water’s gonna go everywhere?
• At a certain point in adult life, it just becomes a game of putting things in places wondering if you’re ever going to remember where you put them again.
• Having never seen one most of my adult life, the first time I ever saw a pneumatic tube delivery system, I thought I had been transported into the movie Brazil.
• One of the cruelties of life is that when you’re in your 20s nobody tells you that in the next few decades or so, you’ll gain 5 pounds if you even smell a cookie, and you’ll pull a neck muscle if you sneeze weirdly. Now that I think about it, it’s probably because nobody would believe it.
• The people who named Greenland and Iceland must have had an awesome sense of humour.
• Dad joke: Do you know what drives me up the wall? Those power stair chair thingies.
• OK, look. Will the people who manufacture those point of sale ‘tap-to-pay’ terminals make up their goddamned mind? Either I tap the screen or I tap the top. Pick one. Then make them ALL like that.
• There are these two adorable huskies on my neighbourhood walking route that I see most times. One of them is super chill and doesn’t react much when I come by to chat with them. The other one is a total lunatic and vocalizes every time.

Earth's water

 

Speaking of high speed rail

This CBC piece does a really good job explaining how Canada is royally messing up every opportunity to get some form of high speed rail established between cities. 

Like, I had no idea how truly bad the situation is.

Looks like doggo found the blue ink

 

500 km/h train only 15 years away

NOT. 

Ha! Fooled you. 

It’s here now. 

In Japan.

You seriously have to watch this video.

The train has actually reached 604 km/h, a world record.

If you know what this is then you’re old

 

Things I learned lately 22 Sep

• More than 60% of residential properties in Calgary are zoned to only allow single family homes as a default.
• Recently, Tesla opened their 50,000th charging stall.
• Based on current data accumulated from many years of EV ownership statistics, if you buy an EV and keep it at least 8 years, put at least 20,000 km on it each year, with gas prices at a minimum of $1.40 per litre, you will have spent less money on TCO (total cost of ownership) than a similar gas power car.
  
  
  
• Quebec and BC now also offer financial incentives to buy used electric vehicles, not just new ones.
• David Byrne was born in Dumbarton, Scotland. He lived in Hamilton, Ontario from age 2 to 8.
• The ‘n’ in the 7 eleven logo is in lowercase, but the other letters are upper case.
• Although thought of as the quintessential American band, The Band’s members, except for Levon Helm, were Canadian. Rick Danko born in Blayney ON; Garth Hudson in Windsor ON; Richard Manuel in Stratford ON; Robbie Robertson in Toronto ON.
• Some people don’t like the term ‘toiletry bag’, so they refer to them as Dopp Kits.
• Peachland never became a direct part of the Canadian railway system, but they did build a small railway just long enough to load rail cars with local produce and move them along the rails to the dock, where they rolled onto a barge (with rails). The barge took the cars to Kelowna, where the cars were unloaded and formed into trains that headed north to the main line.

Inside or outside?

 

Small things 15 Sep

• Hey America. You’re already using metric, get over it. Kilowatt hours?
• The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is today.
• Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
• Tatooine. Come for the sunsets, stay for the scum and villainy.
• You would think that the Zoom company wouldn’t have offices. But they do.
• I think it’s time to just build the sales tax into the displayed price. Who’s with me?
• Wooden spoon survivor.
• They said, “You need to listen to your body.” My body: “You’re old and you need pizza.”
• Remember when the Geico cavemen got their own sitcom? It lasted 7 episodes.
• Remember The Chevy Chase Show on Fox in 1993? It lasted 6 weeks.
• “Life is short - lick the bowl” is a sign meant for the kitchen, not the bathroom.
• Hey anyone 30 years old or younger! Look up ‘AMC Pacer’ on Google Images! Yeah, that was an actual car in 1975.
• Who was the first person to look at a beehive and think, “Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it.”
• Funniest computer message: “Keyboard not found, press F1 to continue.”
• I know people who spend a lot of time trying to work out the meaning of the word ‘inconsequential’ before realizing that it isn’t that important.

No can do

 

So many beers

So, I don’t drink very much alcohol and as such, I don’t often step inside a liquor store. But when I do, I usually head for either the wine area or the liqueur area.

But some stores have huge walk-in coolers with beer and pre-mixed drinks and ciders. But especially beer. Wow. Like, I’m just now getting an understanding of how many different kinds of beer we have now. 

Thanks but... it's pink pride

 

AI continues to surprise me

I’m always testing AI chat to see just how complex a question it can solve, because it’s fun. In one of my latest trials, I was curious to know the answer to the following scenario (which I queried via Bing Chat): 

“I have $500,000 to invest and withdraw from over a period of 20 years. By the end of the 20 years, I don't want any money left. What kind of withdrawal schedule would maximize my earnings over those 20 years if the money was being invested in a GIC with an interest rate averaging 5% per year?”

Its answer:

“To determine the withdrawal schedule that would maximize your earnings over 20 years, you can use the annuity formula. An annuity is a series of equal payments made at regular intervals. In this case, the payments are the withdrawals you’ll be making each year.

The formula for an annuity is:

PMT=PV×r(1+r)exponent n / (1+r) exponent n​ - 1

where:

PMT is the annual withdrawal amount

PV is the present value or initial investment, which is $500,000

r is the annual interest rate, which is 5% or 0.05

n is the number of periods, which is 20 years

Solving this equation will give you the annual withdrawal amount that would maximize your earnings over 20 years while ensuring that you have no money left at the end of the period.

Please note that this calculation assumes that the interest rate remains constant over the entire period, which may not be the case in reality. It’s always a good idea to consult with a financial advisor for personalized advice.”

So I prompted it to solve the equation with the parameters I offered:

“After solving this equation, the annual withdrawal amount (PMT) comes out to be approximately $40,975.62.

This means that if you withdraw approximately $40,975.62 each year, you would maximize your earnings over 20 years and have no money left at the end of the period. Please note that this calculation assumes that the interest rate remains constant over the entire period, which may not be the case in reality.”

Outstanding.

Wrong class

 

Things I learned lately 15 Sep

• The newest Apple watch has a neat feature enabled by its intelligent sensors. If your hands are tied up in that you can’t tap the screen of the watch to answer a call or switch to other screens, you can tap your index finger and thumb together instead.
• Cardston Alberta, a town that has had a ban on alcohol sales for 121 years, is finally lifting that ban. The town was founded by Mormon settlers and refused to go along when prohibition was lifted in 1923. Based on census data, the town is still 60% Mormon.
• Canada is definitely not the only country regulating that Facebook pays for news it posts on its social network.
• There are now cruises that ply the Canadian Northwest Passage, which is free of ice now for several months in the summer.
• You cannot legally buy Coca Cola in Cuba and North Korea, and now Russia.
• You can hum a song in Google search on your phone to figure out what it is. Tap the microphone icon, then the ‘search a song’ button. Hum or sing the song in your head.
  
  
  
• Some of the early names suggested for The Band included "The Honkies", and "The Crackers".
• PepsiCo has fully switched to the Tesla electric semi truck at one of their California depots and they love them. They will convert more of their fleet to Tesla.
• If you have money to burn and long for the days of tube amplifiers, McIntosh is reviving their famous MC3500 in a Mark II variant. It’s the mono block amp used at Woodstock, don’t you know. 350 watts per unit. $15,000 each. You’ll need 2 if you want stereo.

Nerd bait

 

Small things 10 Sep

• “I tell ya guys if you wanna worry about things, we are living in a great time.” ~Bill Nye
• “Our band is Paper. We’ll be covering some rock for you this evening.”
• Canada is one of the leading countries in the world at developing high speed rail studies.
• One day some of us burned a CD for the last time, but we didn’t know it was the last time.
• When the server with the parmesan cheese grater asks if I want cheese on my pasta, I’ll say YES, then when they offer, “Say when.” I like to just let them put a ton on to see if they flinch.
• Feeling good about the cheap hot dog you got at Costco after spending $437 on stuff.
• “Who wants my leftover bacon?” ~Said nobody. Ever.
• Whoever named it a urinal cake missed an opportunity to call it a piscuit.
• All those times you really needed to speak to your mother and she looks at you mouthing, “I’m on the phone.”
• When you're showing someone a movie you like, and they get up to use the bathroom, so you pause it and they say "just let it keep playing".
• A fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech: "Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated Cryptids".
• If the coffee barista puts oat milk in my coffee by accident and tries to justify it by saying, “Sorry, you look like an oat milk kind of person”, is that hate speech?
• Wikipedia built the modern version of the library of Alexandria using only nerds’ need to correct each other.
• Just for the fun of it, I think I’ll start my work emails with “I hope this email finds you well…” Let’s see how that goes.

I don't like this escape room

 

Perks of Being Over 60 and heading towards 70

1) Kidnappers are not very interested in you

2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first, especially if you present ‘symptoms’

3) No one expects you to run…anywhere

4) People call at 9 pm and ask “Did I wake you?”. You get to say “Yes. Yes you did.”

5) Others no longer consider you a hypochondriac

6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way

7) Things you buy now probably won’t wear out before you do

8) You can eat supper at 4 pm. You can even have dessert for supper.

9) You can live without sex, but not your glasses

10) You get into heated discussions about pension plans

11) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

12) You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room

13) You sing along with most of the elevator music

14) Your eyes won't get much worse

15) Your health insurance premiums are really paying off

16) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service

17) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them

18) Seniors discounts

Finnish horror

 

I couldn’t even

Great short video of a couple of guys flying in their wingsuits from atop Mont Blanc to the valley below.

It’s an insane flight path.

More or less how they pronounce it in Toronto

Things I learned lately 10 Sep

• Calgary has broken a new record for the number of smoke hours recorded in a single year at 453 hours in 2023 so far.
• The Rolling Stones are releasing the first album of new material in 18 years, Hackney Diamonds.
• I think McDonalds is a great example of dynamic pricing of product / service based on market value as it relates to supply versus demand in real time. I say this because every time I go and order the exact same breakfast, even from the same store, the amount I owe always seems to be different. For real though, I discovered the reason is because the person at the till an apply a variety of discounts such as bundled products specials and senior discounts. I guess some days I look like a senior, some I don’t.
  
  
  
• KD now comes in ‘poutine’ flavour.
• In 2021 , there were just over 27,000 vehicles stolen from Ontario alone, according to a recent report by the Canadian Financing and Leasing Association. That's a car stolen at a rate of every 17 minutes.
• Switzerland is building a dam in front of a dam because the original (Spitallamm) dam is old and cracked.
• The PWHL (Professional Women’s Hockey League) is a go. Their first set of teams will be in Boston, Montreal, New York, Ottawa, Toronto and Minneapolis-St. Paul.

Trail cam

 

Some of you will get it, many will not

 

Small things 1 Sep

• How many guys are going to dress as Ken this year?
  
  
  
• Just for fun, pronounce LGBTQ “el jibbity cue”. Be confident about it, like you’re positive that’s how it’s pronounced.
• Startup idea: ice cream cones shaped like chips so you can eat ice cream like nachos.
• I wonder how universities and colleges would be different, if after you got your degree / certificate, and 5 years passed without you being able to find a job in your field, you could demand your money back. Or get a school credit for a different degree / certificate.
• I think it would be fun that when I retire I go back to the office, like many athletes do for their sports, as a commentator. Just absolutely critiquing every spreadsheet entry, document edit, meeting, and co-worker interaction.
• "Keeping a Canadian team from winning a Stanley Cup for the past 30 years might just be my greatest accomplishment"  ~Gary Bettman (Probably)
• The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone in Earth's history.
• There was a time not so long ago when we had to physically mail our funny videos to a television show and hope they chose to share it with TV viewers.
• Don’t look at your spouse’s browser history for ideas on what to get them for Christmas. Just because they were looking at Nicholas Cage pillowcases, doesn’t mean they actually want Nicholas Cage pillowcases.
• A great library has something in it to offend everyone.

So uh, how high did I get last night?

 

Bin drama

 

The past culture of alcohol in Quebec

Condensed from an article by Catherine Ferland, historian

“Alcohol consumption was seen as a means to rebalance moods, particularly by regulating the body’s temperature. Darker, stronger drinks, like very bitter beer, dark reds that stain, and robust brandies, were deemed more appropriate for the male gullet. Women were invited to opt for more delicate beverages, such as clear wines, alternating with water. Beer and brandy were allowed for older women and those who were ill.

Consumption by women was closely monitored. It was best for them to abstain from warming their blood with large quantities of alcohol. Better yet, they could just do without! The underlying fear was that women would get so drunk that they would lose their dignity. It was thought that women would not know how to recognize their limits. Female drunkenness was seen as a potential threat to herself and to social order.

Both healthcare professionals and judicial officers contributed to these beliefs. In several 19th-century and early 20th-century papers, alcohol consumption by women was reportedly the reason behind many societal problems, including prostitution, low birth rates, physical and intellectual deficiencies in children, juvenile delinquency, and so on. This was the argument that would emerge in various prohibitionist waves to surge in western countries.

The ways in which women drank remained very modest and private up until the 1970s. In Quebec, taverns were exclusively reserved to men, women were most definitely not welcome. The Maurice Duplessis government prohibited tavern access to women in 1937, under the pretence that it was not an appropriate place for them. Not to mention the powerful territorial component associated with the exclusion of women. For customers, forced to listen to their boss at work and their wife at home, the tavern was the ultimate bastion of freedom. The thought of letting women into taverns was met with great resistance.

At the end of the 1970s, the Quebec government decided to make changes to the law, so as to reflect the changing social, economic, and cultural climate. The Act respecting offences relating to alcoholic beverages allowed tavern owners to serve women if they so desired. “Ladies welcome” signs were hung above the doors of certain establishments. For taverns that opened prior to 1979, however, it was left up to the establishment’s discretion whether or not to accept women. Finally, in 1986, the law was amended so as to prohibit the exclusion of women.”

Bearly broke a sweat

 

This guy looks like he’s giving a Ted Talk on enjoying life

 

Before there was internet, there was TV

Back in the 1980s, I used to pay the occasional visit to my friend Dave's family home in Toronto. On some evenings, the TV would come on, usually after a night of reveling, and eventually the TV would end up on the Global network.

Back then, late at night, after the regular programming would end, instead of the network going off the air, they would broadcast what looked at first glance to be a live video feed from a vehicle that was just wandering the streets of downtown Toronto (Night Ride and Night Moves) or a person walking the streets (Night Walk). Jazz music played in the background. I think this went on the air between 3am and 5am. It turns out that it was a pre-recorded show, but any time you watched it, you always noticed something new. Especially if you weren't, umm, sober or straight.

I've never seen anything quite like it since. But it's one of those special TV programs that stays with you. You can find the programming on YouTube without any trouble, although it's as low resolution as it gets.

When life gives you a cracked windshield…

 

Canadians like sarcasm

 

Things I learned lately 1 Sep

• The pumpkin spice latte drink turns 20 this year.
  
  
  
• Jerusalem Syndrome affects about 100 visitors every year. Of those, about 40 need to be hospitalized. Symptoms usually wear off a few weeks after the visit. Uniquely religious in focus, this syndrome manifests as the delusion that the subject is an important Biblical figure.
• Some American black bears who live near urban areas hibernate almost 2 months less than normal and some bears have stopped hibernating at all.
• The world’s first internet café, Café Cyberia, opened its doors in London in September 1994.
• BeaverTails began when Grant and Pam Hooker turned their family recipe for fried dough into a corporate business. They sold their first pastries at the Killaloe Craft and Community Fair in 1978. Two years later, they opened the first BeaverTails stand in the Byward Market in Ottawa.
• The first NHL hockey player to be named 1st, 2nd, and 3rd star of the same game was Maurice “Rocket” Richard.
• There’s a triangle shaped table with benches at the exact meeting point of the borders of Slovakia, Hungary and Austria. So people from each of those countries could sit at their side of the table and enjoy a meal without leaving their country.
• They take speed limits seriously in Iceland. If you do 60 km/h in a 30 zone (usually a school zone, etc.), the fine is USD$550 and a 3 month license suspension.
• ChatGPT started a program called Project December, making it possible to digitally resurrect the dead in the form of chatbots trained on data of the deceased. Since Facebook, Google, Apple, and Microsoft all store heaps of our digital communications, it's conceivable that they all could create and sell deadbots in the coming years.