Small things 15 Sep

• Hey America. You’re already using metric, get over it. Kilowatt hours?
• The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is today.
• Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
• Tatooine. Come for the sunsets, stay for the scum and villainy.
• You would think that the Zoom company wouldn’t have offices. But they do.
• I think it’s time to just build the sales tax into the displayed price. Who’s with me?
• Wooden spoon survivor.
• They said, “You need to listen to your body.” My body: “You’re old and you need pizza.”
• Remember when the Geico cavemen got their own sitcom? It lasted 7 episodes.
• Remember The Chevy Chase Show on Fox in 1993? It lasted 6 weeks.
• “Life is short - lick the bowl” is a sign meant for the kitchen, not the bathroom.
• Hey anyone 30 years old or younger! Look up ‘AMC Pacer’ on Google Images! Yeah, that was an actual car in 1975.
• Who was the first person to look at a beehive and think, “Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it.”
• Funniest computer message: “Keyboard not found, press F1 to continue.”
• I know people who spend a lot of time trying to work out the meaning of the word ‘inconsequential’ before realizing that it isn’t that important.