Pew pew!

 

Small things 28 June

• My wife has turned our printer against me. I can no longer connect to it no matter what IT black arts I try.
• Does anybody really want to see the alligator later?
• "Politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex."  ~Frank Zappa
• I read this somewhere recently: If your best response to why you like Trump is “He speaks his mind”, I’m sorry, but that’s code for “I align with his racism, sexism, misogyny, disrespect of the law, misconduct, rudeness and vapid machismo.”
• Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee and lie to me about how much we’re going to get done today.
• Funniest time to text “Are we still on for today?”: Your wedding.
• What are Elon Musk fans called? ‘Muskrats’.
• Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'  ~Isaac Asimov
• The escape key on my keyboard at work is broken. I keep hitting it, but I don’t go anywhere.
• I wonder of Pythagoras was the first person to cross an intersection diagonally>^<
• I wish there was an effective way to convince people that cosmetic plastic surgery is so unnecessary. Particularly of the face. Every face is perfect just the way it is.
• I'm going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. My oughtabiography.

He's a dog

 

She loves us

 

You know poutine?

Then you probably know that to enjoy the best poutine, you have to go to Montreal. Here are 23 of the supposed best places to get it:

Pierrette Patates / Chez ma Tante / Poutineville / Frite Alors! / Poutine Centrale / Casse-Croûte Normand / Le Gras Dur / Main Deli Steak House / Maam Bolduc / Mon Petit Poulet / Ma Poule Mouillée / Paulo & Suzanne / Paul Patates / Au Pied De Cochon / Broue Pub Brouhaha / Restaurant A.A. / Patati Patata / Gibeau Orange Julep / Montreal Pool Room / La Banquise / Greenspot / Chez Tousignant / Chez Claudette

Chez Claudette is the place my next door neighbour and former Montrealais swears by. I looked at their menu. They have (as best as I could count) 47 types of poutine. 

Here’s a short tiktok on the place

Undo it

 

It’s the worst kind of shaming

 

Tuna-shaming.....

Things I learned lately 28 June

• The US will ban sales of Kaspersky antivirus software in July because it is a Russian product.
• Canada's national anthem, "O Canada," was first performed on June 24, 1880. The music was composed by Calixa Lavallée, with French lyrics written by Sir Adolphe-Basile Routhier. The anthem was originally commissioned for the Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day celebrations in Quebec City. The English lyrics, which are a loose translation of the original French lyrics, were penned by Robert Stanley Weir in 1908.
• Dave Thomas, of SCTV fame, started at an ad agency as an ad writer for Coca Cola.
• Adele, Evanescence, Oasis, Ice Cube, Eminem, Hedley, The Cat Empire, Zooey Deschanel, Beyonce, Erika Badu and Lionel Ritchie all have something in common. They all sang a song named ‘Hello’.
• Olivia Newton John’s ‘Magic’; Dolly Parton’s ‘9 to 5’; Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross’s “Endless Love’; Christopher Cross’s ‘Arthur’s Theme’; Vangelis’ ‘Chariots of Fire’; Survivor’s ‘Eye of the Tiger’; Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes’ ‘Up where we belong’; Irene Cara’s ‘Flashdance’; Michael Sembello’s ‘Maniac’; Kenny Loggins’ ‘Footloose’; Phil Collins’ ‘Against all odds’; Deniece Willams’ ‘Let’s hear it for the boy’; Prince’s ‘When doves cry’; Ray Parker Jr’s ‘Ghostbusters’; Prince’s ‘Let’s go crazy’; Simple Minds’ ‘Don’t you (forget about me)’; Bryan Adams’ ‘Heaven’; Duran Duran’s ‘A view to a kill’; John Parr’s ‘St Elmo’s fire’; Jan Hammer’s ‘Miami Vice theme’; Phil Collin’s ‘Separate lives’; Berlin’s ‘Take my breath away’; Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes’ ‘I’ve had the time of my life’; The Beach Boys’ ‘Kokomo’; Bette Midler’s ‘Wind beneath my wings’; are all songs that in 1981 reached number one on BillBoard’s Hot 100, that were from movie or TV soundtracks.
• If you feel unsafe privately selling your car, the police stations in Calgary (and I’m guessing elsewhere) have a special lot made just for secure vehicle transaction spaces.

Genius costume

 

Small things 22 June

• I challenge everyone to find a dentist that’s been asked for their opinion on toothpastes.
• The Kentucky Derby, aka Amish Nascar.
• Nostalgebra. Thinking back to when you hated math in school.
• The first two kids on the block in any Canadian neighbourhood to get a hockey goal net suddenly became very popular.
• You might think that it isn’t possible to throw out the uneaten part of a cinnamon bun into the garbage. But it very much is possible. I have witnessed this horror show with mine own eyes.
• Fortune cookie: You will continue to interpret vague statements as uniquely meaningful.
• Don’t we have the technology now to fix bacon packaging one and for all? Why do I still have to rip that thing apart and get bacon sweat all over me, just to get at a couple slices and then find some odd shaped container to preserve the rest?
• Remember when you could slam the phone down to hang up on someone?
• They have ice cream trucks roaming around in the summer. Why can’t they have soup trucks roaming around in the winter?
• You can be the whole package and still end up at the wrong address.
• Celery. When you’re in the mood for crunchy water.
• "Whether they become a musician or not isn't the point. The point is to instill them with a love of music. The point is to give them the ability to take a musical instrument wherever they go in life and use it as a means of expression, connection, and comfort. That's the point." ~Vaughan Fleischfresser

Mom, get out!

 

'Hi' in mandarin

 

Misinformation about electric car batteries

No matter where you try to get information about electric cars, whether it’s the news, YouTube, Reddit, or whatever your choice, you’re going to come across retorts from armchair experts who have all of these preconceived notions about why battery powered cars are bad. For example, you can’t charge them to a 100% state of charge. The batteries lose a lot of their capacity after a few years. Fast charging is bad for the battery. You’ll never get 160,000 km out of a battery.

Well, here’s a YouTube video dealing with those mistruths.

Some disabilities cannot be seen

 

Not that gays

 

Like father, like daughter

David Gilmour, of Pink Floyd, has finally included his daughter Romany in a song, on vocals and harp.

Between Two Points everyone! 

Romany looks so much like her dad.

Tokyo trains

This is a map of all the train lines in Tokyo

Tokyo transit

This is a map of all the train lines in Tokyo   

Just kidding, this is just the Tokyo Metro

Things I learned lately 22 June

• ICE vehicles have a fire rate of 1,530 fires per 100,000 ICE vehicle sales. EVs have a rate of 25 fires per 100,000 EV vehicle sales.
• Based on over 70 factors that measure for quality of democracy, here are the top 10 rated democracies: 1 Denmark; 2 Sweden; 3 Estonia; 4 Switzerland; 5 Norway; 6 Ireland; 7 New Zealand; 8 Finland; 9 Costa Rica; 10 Belgium. Canada was 25th. Notable fact: every country in the top 10 have proportional representation in their governments.
• 5-pin bowling originated as a Canadian invention and it has remained largely confined to Canada over the decades.
• The story behind the development of Good Will Hunting makes for a great read (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Will_Hunting#Development).
• An apple brown betty, an apple cobbler, an apple crisp, an apple buckle, an apple crumble, an apple grunt, an apple sonker and an apple pandowdy are NOT the same thing.

Old timey maple syrup

 

Photo taken from inside a violin

 

Small things 15 June

• Mama bear: The porridge is ready. Papa bear: Perfect. Let’s leave for a couple of hours.
• A nice thing about reading a book is that when you’re finished reading it, there’s no collection of obnoxious negative comments at the end.
• If someone accuses you of swearing too much, tell them you’re speaking fluent veteran, using a soldier dialect and a military accent.
• The restaurant that served Kentucky Fried Chicken in Canada in the 70s was named Scott’s Chicken Villa Family Restaurant (or La Villa du Poulet in Quebec). They served a lot more than just KFC products.
• I wonder, if you pour root beer into a squared glass, are you just left with beer?
• Some days I wonder if we’re being punked by our bank. Witness a statement screw-up that took many calls, a few branch visits, 3 years and 2 forms to fix. A credit card replacement incident that took 4 phone calls and a branch visit to fix. And finally, a simple call to ask a simple question about fees that lasted 30 minutes, 28 of it on hold, with no resolution and a CSR that had an accent thicker than Jackie Chan.
• Here’s hoping more young girls aspire to be like Alyssa Carson (youngest person in history to pass all NASA's aerial tests) instead of Kendall Jenner.
• None of your problems are because someone is on welfare.
• None of your problems are because of an immigrant.
• None of your problems are because of anyone who identifies a certain way.
• A woman gets married and changes how people address her and nobody bats an eye. Someone who identifies a certain way wants to change the way people address them and some people lose their minds.

The original Winnie and friends given to Christopher Robin Milne

 

He remembered

 

“Don’t think that when you get fired or laid off, it’s an assessment on you”

Every year, Scott Galloway, Professor of Marketing at the NYU Stern School of Business, makes tech and business and cultural predictions. In this talk, recorded in May 2023, he examines current trends like AI, the metaverse, wealth inequality, and loneliness, and shares his vision of the greatest opportunities coming up in the near future.

His humour is dry and he solicits a few laughs from the crowdHis humour is dry and he solicits a few laughs from the crowd. You might not be into the stuff at the start, but it gets better. Watch it to the end for some personal insights that might blow your mind.

Rolling in his grave

 

Ice cream nachos

 

Role model

Here is an example, courtesy of a Fatboy Slim music videoFatboy Slim music video, of the current, infant state of AI video generation. 

You can tell it’s fake (except where they’re using actual live actors), but remember, this is generation one. 

Guess who ordered magnets?

 

I got a C

 

Things I learned lately 15 June

• To celebrate Pride, Burger King has introduced the Pride Whopper. It has either two top buns or two bottom buns on each burger. No, I’m not kidding. The buns are same-sex.
• A Model S owner in the UK has put 692,000 km on their car in 8 years. Original battery and motors.
• Chatham Ontario in the mid 19th century, before the American Civil War, was a destination for blacks escaping the American south, and slavery. At the time, ⅓ of Chatham was black, and a centre of the anti-slavery movement.
• The Rideau Canal construction cost the lives of 1,000 workers.
• The top 3 potato producers in Canada right now are: 1. Alberta; 2. PEI; 3. Manitoba.
• Half of your cells are bacteria, 99% of which live in our digestive system.

Why is there a painter in here?

 

Save him as a PDF

 

Small things 7 June

• If you can be a felon and be president, they need to remove felon off of all job applications, rental applications, and professional certifications. If the highest position in the land can be taken by a felon, all positions should follow suit.
• Tradition n. Peer pressure from dead people.
• I never understood why Microsoft used to think 3D objects needed its own folder.
• You can kiss yourself in the mirror, but only on the lips. ~NdGT
• The Foo Fighters must be doing a fabulous job because I’ve never encountered a Foo.
• The risk I took was calculated. But I’m really bad at math, so…
• I watched The Hunt for Red October. I like movies with subtitles.
• There’s really only one thing you can do about bad people. Don’t be like them.
• Lies spread faster than truth.
• Sure there's watermelon. But shouldn't there be earthmelon, firemelon, and airmelon? The four elemelons.
• When I think about the 80s, the ghetto blaster comes to mind. That’s a stereo type.
• “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” ~George Carlin
• The funniest thing I’ve ever heard is when someone who apparently doesn’t trust a medical doctor to know about current medical issues declares, “How long has it been since they left medical school?”, as if the longer you are out of school, the less you know about the latest medical knowledge. And then I silently argue, “Hey, but how long has it been since YOU went to medical school? Oh, you never went? Yeah I think we’re done here.”

Baby gates

 

No sleep 'til 6

 

Excuses, excuses

I love this video. 

Finally, we have someone who is capable of seeing through press release BS to out hyper-capitalist employee abusers.

This is what basic journalism should look like. Too bad it doesn’t. Also, it’s too bad that the growing number of mom and pop retailers that have proven it is possible to pay a living wage while still making money and not charging a fortune rarely makes the news.

Tear you a new one

 

PSPS

This would be my band’s 3rd album cover.

The album would be called "PSPS This…"

Plants with defenses that we consume anyway

Many plants have evolved unique tastes or smells as a defense mechanism to deter animals from eating them. These adaptations can make the plant unpalatable or even toxic to potential herbivores, thus increasing the plant's chances of survival and reproduction. Here's a list of some notable plants with such defenses:

• Capsaicin in Chili Peppers: The compound capsaicin gives chili peppers their distinctive spicy heat. It's a deterrent mainly for mammals; birds, which are the primary dispersers of chili seeds, are unaffected by capsaicin.
• Caffeine in Coffee Plants: Caffeine acts as a natural pesticide. In high concentrations, it can be toxic to insects and other herbivores that might otherwise feast on the coffee plant.
• Nicotine in Tobacco Plants: Nicotine is a potent neurotoxin to insects. This alkaloid protects tobacco plants from being consumed by most herbivores.
• Tannins in Oak and Other Plants: Tannins, found in oak leaves and acorns, as well as in other plants, can make the plant parts bitter and less palatable to animals. They can also interfere with an animal's ability to absorb nutrients from food.
• Cyanogenic Glycosides in Cassava: Cassava plants produce these compounds, which can release cyanide when the plant tissue is damaged. This serves as a strong deterrent against consumption.
• Pyrethrins in Chrysanthemums: Pyrethrins are natural insecticides found in chrysanthemum flowers. They are effective in repelling many types of insects.
• Menthol in Mint: The cooling sensation of menthol, found in various mint species, can be an irritant to some animals, deterring them from eating the plants.
• Thujone in Sage and Wormwood: Thujone is a compound found in plants like sage and wormwood (the latter is known for its use in absinthe). It can be toxic in high doses and deters many herbivores.
• Eugenol in Cloves: Eugenol provides the aromatic smell and taste of cloves and can act as an antimicrobial and insect repellent.
• Limonene in Citrus Rinds: Limonene gives citrus rinds their characteristic smell and serves as a natural insecticide.
• Allicin in Garlic: When garlic cells are damaged, they release allicin, a compound with a strong odor that is toxic to insects and microorganisms.

Fish

 

What's going on?

It would be fun to show someone from 1995 this picture and ask them "What's going on here?"

Things I learned lately 7 June

• The Toronto City Hall was designed by Finnish architect Viljo Revell. The design was chosen through an international competition held in 1958, which attracted more than 500 entries from 42 countries. Revell's innovative and modernist design features two curved towers of differing heights wrapping around a saucer-like council chamber, creating a distinctive and iconic architectural landmark for the city. Viljo Revell died in 1964, just before the building was officially opened in 1965.
• Words that have their roots in Viking language (Old Norse): sky; skull; skill; they; them; their; are; take; crawl; dazzle; guess; trust; slaughter; ransack; club; knife; berserk; husband; skirt; egg; any place name ending in -by or -thorne or -thwaite or -wick; Thursday.
• Saudi Arabia wants to build a 2 km high tower. No details yet, but it is supposedly in design. 
• The reason why Manhattan’s financial district is located where it is, is because this is close to the location of the original docks.
• What is now Stanley Park in Vancouver used to be a military reserve.

Silent treatment

 

If drivers designed bike lanes

 

Small things 1 June

• A möbius strip was sobbing as it walked into a bar. The bartender said, "What's wrong?" The möbius strip said, "Where do I even begin?"
• What do coral get stressed about? Current events.
• I’m not saying that I’m wacky, but let’s just say you better not have a nut allergy.
• The folks who first explained different mushrooms: “This one tastes like beef. This one killed Bob immediately. This one makes you see God.”
• Remember those metal slides in playgrounds that got hot enough under the summer sun to give you a 3rd degree burn? Good times.
• If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.
• Ever notice when geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other? This is because there are more geese on that side.
• I find it funny that the airport constantly reminds you not to leave your belongings unattended, then forces you to surrender your carry-on stuff to a stranger at the security gate.
• My rain sensing wipers will sometimes totally ignore the rain for like a minute, then ramp up to tropical monsoon torrent speed, neither of which is appropriate for the amount of rain falling at that moment.

Playing frisbee with a 5 year old

 

Bread delivery

 

These bread delivery trucks used to roam the neighbourhoods when I was young.

Fishy

This map charts how much fish, in pounds, an average person from each country eats.

No, I’m joking. It’s the level of testosterone the average male has in each country.

No, but really. It’s the number of thousands of electric bicycles registered in each country.

No, not really. It’s in fact the number of metal bands per 1 million citizens in each country. For real.

The Vikings come from the north you say? Shocker…

Looks great though

 

Clinton hiding in the Bushes

 

The reunion that almost was

The story of Lorne Michaels offering the Beatles $3,000 to reunite on "Saturday Night Live" (SNL) is a classic tale from the world of television and music. It happened during the April 24, 1976, episode of SNL, during the show's first season. Lorne Michaels, the creator and producer of SNL, made a humorous on-air offer to the Beatles, suggesting they reunite for a live performance on the show for a payment of $3,000.

Michaels addressed the Beatles directly during a segment of the show, explaining that while SNL was just a simple show, they could scrape together $3,000. He jokingly broke down how the band could split the money, suggesting that if it was too much, they could give Ringo less. The offer was not meant to be taken seriously—it was a playful bit reflecting the longing for a Beatles reunion among fans.

Interestingly, John Lennon and Paul McCartney, who were watching the show together at Lennon’s apartment in New York, actually considered taking a cab to the studio for a surprise appearance. They thought it might be funny to show up and demand the $3,000, but ultimately decided against it, partly because they were too tired. This spontaneous idea of theirs added a fascinating footnote to the legend of the Beatles, showing how close the fans came to seeing a mini-reunion on live television.

George Harrison did indeed appear on "Saturday Night Live," but not as part of a Beatles reunion. His appearance occurred later in the year, on the November 20, 1976 episode. This episode is memorable not only for Harrison's musical performances but also for a humorous segment involving the earlier offer Lorne Michaels had made to the Beatles.

During the show, Lorne Michaels and George Harrison participated in a sketch together where they discussed the $3,000 offer. In the sketch, Michaels attempted to clarify that the $3,000 offer was meant for all four Beatles, not just George. Harrison, playing along with the joke, pretended to haggle with Michaels, trying to get the full amount just for himself. George said, “I’ve come all this way. It’s $3000. That was the deal!” Michaels replied, "You see, I thought that you would understand, you know, that it was $3000 for four people, that it would just be $750 for each of you. I mean, as far as I’m concerned, you could have the full $3000. But the network...”

After Harrison said NBC was "chintzy," Michaels offered and Harrison accepted $250 to say the show's opening catchphrase, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

In addition to the comedic sketch, George Harrison performed two songs from his then-latest album, "Thirty-Three & 1/3." His musical performances and the humorous back-and-forth with Michaels made this episode particularly special, highlighting Harrison's sense of humor and his willingness to engage in the playful spirit of SNL.

The joke about Lorne Michaels' offer continued in later years, particularly involving Paul McCartney. In a playful continuation of this running gag, Paul McCartney appeared on "Saturday Night Live" on December 11, 1993. During his appearance, he humorously referenced the original $3,000 offer.

In a sketch, McCartney and Lorne Michaels revisited the topic, with McCartney jokingly asking for the $3,000, as if he was finally there to collect it. The sketch was a nod to the long-standing joke from 1976 and served as a light-hearted acknowledgment of the history and the missed opportunity for a Beatles reunion on the show. Lorne 

This ongoing joke became a charming and recurring element in SNL's history, tying back to the show's earlier days and its interactions with legendary musical figures like the Beatles.

Close your eyes - what do you smell?

 

That's right, cigarettes and mothballs.

These guys

Things I learned lately 1 June

• The newest Porsche Taycan EV can get from a 10% state of charge to a 72% state of charge in 15 minutes. It actually took on 67.5 kW during that time. That’s crazy.
• Tesla has the lowest maintenance and repair cost of any brand, according to a new study by Consumer Reports. When comparing cumulative costs by brand for years one through five and six through 10, they found that Tesla had the lowest maintenance costs.
• The main reason not to eat bay leaves are their unpleasant texture that can pose a choking or digestive hazard, rather than any toxicity.
• Charlie Chaplin had a large age gap in all of his marriages. He was 29 when he wed his first wife, Mildred Harris, who was 17 years old. He was 35 when he wed his second wife, Lita Grey, who was 16 years old. He was 47 when he wed his third wife, Paulette Goddard, who was 26 years old. He was 54 when he wed his fourth and final wife, Oona O'Neill, who was 18 years old.
• Two members of the band King Crimson played on Peter Gabriel’s song “I don’t remember”, Robert Fripp and Tony Levin.