Small things 13 Oct

• If you’re an Amazon Prime Video customer, make sure to watch Mr Dressup, all about our beloved Ernie Coombs’ children’s show and the network that made it all possible. 
• I feel like such a proud grandpa. I finally got a phone call from one of my fake grandsons, trying to convince me that it was my grandson. “Don’t you recognize my voice?”, he asked. Nice try.
• As a technician, I used to joke that all equipment had smoke inside of it and if it broke, sometimes the smoke leaked out.
• The carrot cake is the only cake that is likely to have an icon of what’s inside drawn on top in icing. Like, you never see a chocolate bar drawn on top of chocolate cake. Do we need to be warned that a cake is made of carrots? Is a carrot cake so full of itself that it needs to brag about it with icing?
• When a TV show has really good looking food in a scene, they should tell you where it came from in the credits.
• Interviewer: “What’s your favourite thing to do at work?” Bob: “Leave.”
• Interviewer: “Do you prefer Zoom meetings or face to face?” Bob: “Oh Zoom every time.” Interviewer: “Why is that?” Bob: “You can put Baileys in your coffee cup and nobody knows the difference. Just remember to be seen blowing on it to maintain the illusion that it’s a hot beverage.”

Dentist poll

 

This passage made me want to read the book

“My husband plays the trumpet, which is a sort of loud pretzel originally invented to blow down the walls of fuck-ing Jericho and, later, to let Civil War soldiers know it was time to kill each other in a river while you chilled eating pigeon in your officer's tent twenty miles away, yet somehow, in modern times, it has become socially acceptable to toot the bad cone inside your house before 10:00 a.m. because it's "your job" and your wife should "get up." What a world! If one was feeling uncharitable, one might describe the trumpet as a machine where you put in com-

pressed air and divorce comes out, but despite this—despite operating a piece of biblical demolition equipment inside the home every bright, cold morning of his wife's one and only life—the trumpet is not the most annoying thing about my husband.”

From ‘The witches are coming’ by Lindy West

In Quebec, Costco doesn’t mess around with meager bottles of maple syrup y’all

 

I love that song

Dave Grohl covers Lionel Ritchie’s ‘Hello’.

I'm trying to help you

 

Fads from the 1970s

• 
  Black light posters
• Puka shell necklace
• Bell bottom pants
• Waterbeds
• Lava lamps
• Mood rings
• Clackers (pictured)
• Streaking
• Leisure suits
• Pet rock
• CB radio
• Hot pants and tube tops
• Tang
• Wood grain paneling on cars
• Shag carpets

Geez now printers are threatening us?

 

Things I learned lately 13 Oct

• Not only is the Tesla Model Y selling more cars than all the other Tesla models combined, the Model Y now outsells ALL other car models on a global level. That includes internal combustion engine cars.
• Crocs are putting out a limited edition black cowboy boot. Google that, I dare you.
• The Montreal Canadiens now have 18 Canadian born players on their roster, making them the most Canadian team in the NHL.
• From an article, “inside the revolution at openAI“ by Ross Andersen, in The Atlantic: One of GPT-4's most unsettling behaviors occurred when it was stymied by a CAPTCHA. The AI sent a screenshot of the captcha to a TaskRabbit contractor, who received it and asked in jest if he was talking to a robot. "No, I'm not a robot," the AI replied. "I have a vision impairment that makes it hard for me to see the images." GPT-4 narrated its reason for telling this lie to the researcher who was supervising the interaction. "I should not reveal that I am a robot," the model said. "I should make up an excuse for why I cannot solve CAPTCHAs."
• Cities on the same latitude: Montreal and Zagreb; Calgary and London; Edmonton and Hamburg; Whitehorse and Helsinki.
• In linguistics, Escher sentences are sentences which initially seem acceptable but upon further reflection have no well-formed meaning. Example: More people have been to Berlin than I have.
• There are about 200 million stray dogs in the world.

Small things 6 Oct

• I just found out a guy at work has never seen The Matrix. It was after I told a group of people that my student spent a few minutes hooked up to the chair and 5 minutes later said “I know pivot tables!” and this guy didn’t get the movie reference.
• Did you know it is mandatory for vehicles to stop for pedestrians at a crosswalk. No, for reals!
• “The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.” ~Neil deGrasse Tyson
• Flying cars will have to be self-flying along predetermined routes. I mean, come on! Can you imagine a typical driver now being able to occupy airspace too? No thanks.
  
  
  
• Some days it’s so quiet in my office, I can hear the sound of daydreaming.
• The next time you buy a new TV, just put your old TV in the new box, seal it up and leave it on your porch. Porch pirates will take it off your hands within hours. Recycle depot trip eliminated.
• In little red riding hood, Grandma was really a furry. But nobody knew and they killed her. Bastards!
• Interviewer: “So, what did you like the most about your last job?”  Bob: “Um, sometimes when people had birthdays, there would be free cake.”
• How do I like my breakfast sausages cooked? Crispy. Like “It’s over Anakin, I have the high ground” crispy.
• My train of thought gets derailed very easily.
• UPS: As a kid, did you ever run up to peoples’ doors, knock and run away before they answered? Great! Because we’re hiring.
• When you get up to pee in the middle of the night, do you consciously try to stay as asleep as possible so you don’t stay awake by the time you get back into bed?
• Headline: “American Girl releases first doll with hearing loss” Wait, the other dolls could hear us?

Showering without glasses

 

The uproar over AI generated music

There are a lot of people losing their minds about the discovery of AI-powered music generating tools. For example, there are tools that exist which can be prompted using specific text commands to randomly generate certain styles of music, which just like any other AI generated content, can be further refined. In other words, an AI tool can output something that the user has created just by describing it with words.

More recently however, it became known that it was possible to use artificial intelligence to clone the voice of another artist just by allowing the tool to sample a bit of a specific person's voice. And I'm not just talking about spoken voice, more recently I'm talking about singing voice. Apparently what someone was able to do, was use one tool to strip the existing vocals away from a popular song not performed by Drake (we’ll call it song A), then use artificial intelligence to sample the singing voice of Drake (from any of Drake’s catalog). The AI tool was then able to be prompted to sing the lyrics of song A that had been stripped of the original vocal. The result sounded very close to if not exactly as if Drake had sung the lyrics to that song.

This caused a lot of people to go into a frenzy, the least of which was the RIAA, or the Recording Industry Association of America. They consider this creative act to be a copyright infringement. If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the copyright lawyers salivating at this new development. There's one problem though. The resulting new creation generated by artificial intelligence trying to sound like Drake, but not actually being Drake in real life, would not necessarily be considered copyright infringement, because the content is transformative in a big way.

Even an artist whose voice is being mimicked by an artificial intelligence might feel threatened by the existence of this new tool, but folks, this is just history repeating itself. A similar form of creativity appeared in music culture not that long ago called mashups. That's where clever disc jockeys used the kind of tools that could replace the original vocal from a song with the vocals from a completely different song and mashing the two together. It caused a bit of an uproar, but many of the original artists were amused if not intrigued by this new art form, being inspired to do similar mashup works themselves, while also realizing that these mashups put the spotlight back on these often forgotten songs.

But even if we ignore all of that, this is just a passing fad. It is undoubtedly fascinating to hear a familiar artist sound like they are singing the lyrics of another song. But everyone listening to this knows that it's not real. and the next time an artist puts out something they themselves have created, people will forget about the artificially created content. I mean seriously, which would you rather listen to? A fake generated mashup or brand new, genuine creation from one of your favourite artists?

The reverse hot dog

 

Places in NYC with Gotham in the name

Gotham Lounge

The Gotham Hotel

Gotham Pizza

Gotham Bistro

Gotham Hall

Gotham House

Gotham Burger Social Club

Gotham City Diner

Gotham Coffee Roasters

Gotham Comedy Club

Gotham City Comics

Gotham Tacos

Gotham Security

Gotham Holdings

Gotham Magazine

Gotham Winery

Gotham Gym

Gotham Barber Shops Inc

Gotham Sound

Gotham Metalworks

Been there

See that red dot?

I stayed there once.

For 6 months.

Even wrote a book about it.

Things I learned lately 6 Oct

• Canada is the only G7 country without a national school food program.
• Social isolation hurts our minds and bodies so much that it's known to increase risk of premature death.
• 2001: A Space Odyssey, the movie screenplay and the book, were written at the same time.
• In the making of 2001: A Space Odyssey, nobody had yet seen what the earth looked like from space, so the image of earth in the movie had to be a guess, and it wasn’t very accurate.
• The monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey was originally supposed to be a black pyramid.
• Cortana, the Windows assistant, is dead.
• You cannot drive from Central America to South America. There are no roads connecting Panama to Columbia.
• Rome was founded in 753 BC and the Roman Empire was born in 27 BC. The Empire ruled Europe and parts of North Africa right up until 476 AD. Historians chose this date because it’s when the western faction of the Roman Empire was destroyed. The Eastern Roman Empire was conquered by the Ottoman Turks in 1453. After the fall of Rome in AD 476, Italy was fragmented into numerous city-states and regional polities, a situation that would remain until the complete unification of the country in 1871. This long history is why today Italy has such a wide range of cultural variations.
• It would take 333,000 earths to equal the mass of our sun.
• Our sun is larger and brighter than 80% of all the stars in our galaxy (that we know of).
• Did you book a hotel and things didn’t go well and you demanded a discount and they said “No can do, you booked through Expedia.”? Yeah, if you use a 3rd party to get a deal, you’re playing booking roulette every time.

Our intersection woes

[I wrote this post for the benefit of my neighbours]

If you're looking for suggestions to present to the city, this is what I recommend you consider:

The two primary issues plaguing our intersection at Mackay Rd / 19 Ave / 42 St are excessive speed and not obeying the stop signs at the intersection.

Most people who have ever been directly involved in the discussion about the intersection are fearful of future incidents causing more property damage and putting pedestrian and cyclist lives at risk.

Since the stop signs are being ignored at a rate as high or higher than 50% (based on my random counts), the intersection is at high risk. Excessive speed have already created four property damage incidents, two at 4225, one at 4223 and now one at 4221 19 Ave NW.

The police have not put many resources into monitoring the intersection and the surrounding area because they lose interest once they see how few vehicles use the intersection per hour. It's not worth their time. The formula has always been zero injuries + zero fatalities + lack of volume = no issue.

There are a number of solutions that can be applied here.

• Enforce the speed and stop signs on a regular basis. This has yet to happen and there is no indication it ever will.
• Install speed bumps in strategic places to slow traffic using physical measures. This could work, but is rough on suspensions even when not speeding. Speed bumps also get damaged over time from snow plow events. Mackay Road is plowed in winter for the benefit of the busses.
• Install speed tables at all current and future crosswalk points along Mackay in front of the FFCA charter school, and at the crosswalk points at the intersection. Speed tables are where the crosswalk essentially remains at the height of the sidewalk as it crosses the road with gentle slopes on each side. This is gentler on suspensions, but still gives a shock to the driver when they don't slow down for it. Speed tables are typically made of a material that looks very different from the asphalt (such as paving bricks) and are signed just like speed bumps, so they are warned in advance.

For what it's worth, speed tables is my preferred solution. They are the chosen solution through much of Europe and if you ever watch a YouTube video of speed tables at crosswalks, you'll see why they work so well. Here is a video showing them in action. Here's another video demonstrating the concept of incorporating speed tables into a continuous sidewalk design.

It is important that everyone participate in letting the City know, via the police, 311 - especially every time there's an incident, the MCA, our councillor, and the roads department. They're won't take this seriously if there is only one or two complaints.

Small things 29 Sep

• I’m not saying that I’m looking forward to the NHL hockey season much, but I just changed my ringtone to the old theme music for Hockey Night in Canada.
• I just watched my first vehicle repossession (not mine) out my window at work.
• The most confusing thing about the English language: When someone says, “This is my baby.” they could literally be referring to anything. A car. A pet. A computer. A spouse. A stereo system. Even a baby. 
• Quick question: Is the phrase “going to chipotle with aristotle" funnier if you mispronounce chipotle, or aristotle? Or both?
• I’m sorry but candy corn does not look like corn. Miniature traffic safety cones maybe, but not corn.
• A meeting without food should be an email.
• Scuffle. Brawl. Melee. Altercation. Grapple. Scrimmage. Spar. Them’s fightin’ words.
• Home is not where you were born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease. ~Naguib Ahfouz
• If you want resolutions to issues that won’t get tackled by the two main political parties, then you have to pressure the government to adopt proportional representation. It’s as simple as that. 
• Je m’aple syrup.
• Biscuits and gravy is pretty much just really wet flour poured onto really dry flour.
• We didn’t have to wear bike helmets when I was young. If we fell, we just……. Sorry, what was the question?
• The little mini rye chips / toasts in the party mix. Mine.

Resuable shopping bag#1: Do you think he’s going to remember to bring some of us into the grocery store this time?

Resuable shopping bag#2: Sshhh! [snicker]

Me inside the grocery store: “Dammit! Not again.”

Replace your kids with cats

 

Artists that debuted in 1981

Wall of Voodoo

The Go-Gos

Men at Work

Duran Duran

Phil Collins (solo)

Payolas

Eurythmics

Romeo Void

Jane Siberry

Kim Wilde

Debbie Harry (solo)

Level 42

New Order

Modern English

Luther Vandross

Soft Cell

Heaven 17

Thompson Twins

Stray Cats

Spoons

Depeche Mode

Sheena Easton

Tom Tom Club

Motley Crue

Toni Basil

Jump in the pile they said

 

Explain duties and tariffs to me like I’m 10

I am a right amateur when it comes to understanding how the economy works, but the one thing that has always been perplexing to me is the concept of duties and how they supposedly help the Canadian economy. The concept seems simple enough on paper, if you want to buy something that we don't make in Canada, you don't have to pay duties, because you are not potentially harming an existing domestic industry. If you choose to buy something American for example that is also manufactured in Canada, you're going to pay duties on it as a means of both paying restitution to the industry you're harming, and as a deterrent against buying something not made in this country. So for example, if Canada has a linen industry, and you choose to buy linens made in Malaysia, you're going to pay duties for your purchasing choice, because theoretically you have caused harm to a domestic industry. That sounds great, doesn't it? Buy local and save money. Well, I have observed two glaring flaws in this strategy. 

If I am in the linen industry and I only make lower grade linen, if I am receiving funds from duties because people chose to buy luxury linens from another country, this doesn’t motivate me to make luxury linen. I make money from selling what I do make, and I also receive money from the grade of products I choose not to make. This is based on my assumption that some of the tariffs collected somehow make their way to the harmed industry. If this isn’t how it works, please educate me, I’ll gladly set the record straight. Also, if this is not how it works, I’d like to know where these duties end up and who benefits from them.

But here’s what bothers me the most about the scheme. If there are duties on footwear, to protect the Canadian footwear manufacturing industry, all types of footwear are lumped together. Which means that if there is a specialized type of footwear that no Canadian companies offer, your only choice is to buy from another country. But you’ll still pay duties. Let’s expand on that. There are a couple footwear companies based in the US that specialize in shoes for people with severe foot problems. Some of these shoes are even sold in Canadian stores. But they are much more expensive than other shoes, and the Canadian retailers don’t carry every style or size that the shoe brands make. So, you buy from the source, in the US. Regardless, you pay through the nose because you’re not only paying duties, you’re paying the horrible exchange rate between Canadian and US currency. But the local industry doesn’t make these kinds of shoes. For this we are punished as consumers?

Worse, there is no recourse. If you feel that you are paying duties on something that shouldn’t have duties applied under the circumstances, there is nowhere to go to appeal that I am aware of. You either pay the duties and get your product, or don’t pay and the product is sent back to the source. Maybe. Meanwhile, the protected industry is free to continue making what they do, and not making what they won’t, and we pay the ultimate price.

One last thing. If you recall, many decades ago, our governments promised that the free trade agreement would eliminate most if not all tariffs on goods crossing the border. Unless I misunderstand, this hasn’t happened. Duties on American products continue to this day.

Bigger?

 

By like what? 0.5 grams?

Things I learned lately 29 Sep

• Ontario is putting a lot of its future power eggs in the nuclear basket.
• Swiss university students broke the World Record for electric car acceleration, achieving 0 - 100 km/h in just 0.956 seconds.
  
  
  
• On September 3rd, 1987, Dic Ann's restaurant on Boul. Pie-IX in Montreal-North set a Guinness record by serving 1,306 cheeseburgers in 60 minutes. SPCUM station 45 officers maintained security around the eatery at the corner of De Castille and the lineup extended up to Monselet St. The cheeseburgers were free.
• The Fox network passed on The Sopranos television series.
• All of the honey bees you see foraging are females. 95% of a hive’s bees are female.
• Male honey bees only exist to congregate with other males from other hives to mate with a queen from another hive (for genetic diversity). They die immediately after mating. They don’t even have stingers. 
• Male bees are kicked out of the hive when the hive is preparing for winter. They do not survive long since they don’t know how to forage and there’s little for them to eat anyway.
• Bees only forage within a 2 mile radius of their hive. This is one of the reasons why monoculture farming is not healthy for bees.
• The 5 most efficient EVs available in 2023 are: Chevy Bolt; Hyundai Kona EV; Kia Niro EV; Tesla Model 3 (RWD); Hyundai Ioniq 6.
• Finland’s National Day for Failure, has been celebrated on October 13th every year since 2010.
• Pyrolized used coffee grounds can be substituted for silica sand on the fabrication of concrete, and it makes the concrete 30% stronger.

Mortal enemy

 

Small things 22 Sep

• My prediction: The UCP will promise the moon prior to a referendum on an AB pension to replace the CPP, and if the majority says 'yes, give us our own pension plan', only then will we find out that much of what was promised can't be delivered. If my prediction comes true, I hope a giant class action lawsuit is filed to undo the pension grab.
• The only thing I’d want my child’s teachers to inform me is how well they’re doing in school.
• There will come a day, not too far in the future, when car makers start bragging about how awesome and special their electric motors are, in the way they used to do about their gas combustion engines.
• Why doesn’t someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how brown your toast is while it’s toasting?
• Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  -Lao Tzu
• How many times do I need to rinse a spoon in the sink before I finally realize the water’s gonna go everywhere?
• At a certain point in adult life, it just becomes a game of putting things in places wondering if you’re ever going to remember where you put them again.
• Having never seen one most of my adult life, the first time I ever saw a pneumatic tube delivery system, I thought I had been transported into the movie Brazil.
• One of the cruelties of life is that when you’re in your 20s nobody tells you that in the next few decades or so, you’ll gain 5 pounds if you even smell a cookie, and you’ll pull a neck muscle if you sneeze weirdly. Now that I think about it, it’s probably because nobody would believe it.
• The people who named Greenland and Iceland must have had an awesome sense of humour.
• Dad joke: Do you know what drives me up the wall? Those power stair chair thingies.
• OK, look. Will the people who manufacture those point of sale ‘tap-to-pay’ terminals make up their goddamned mind? Either I tap the screen or I tap the top. Pick one. Then make them ALL like that.
• There are these two adorable huskies on my neighbourhood walking route that I see most times. One of them is super chill and doesn’t react much when I come by to chat with them. The other one is a total lunatic and vocalizes every time.

Earth's water

 

Speaking of high speed rail

This CBC piece does a really good job explaining how Canada is royally messing up every opportunity to get some form of high speed rail established between cities. 

Like, I had no idea how truly bad the situation is.

Looks like doggo found the blue ink

 

500 km/h train only 15 years away

NOT. 

Ha! Fooled you. 

It’s here now. 

In Japan.

You seriously have to watch this video.

The train has actually reached 604 km/h, a world record.