Small things 6 Oct

• I just found out a guy at work has never seen The Matrix. It was after I told a group of people that my student spent a few minutes hooked up to the chair and 5 minutes later said “I know pivot tables!” and this guy didn’t get the movie reference.
• Did you know it is mandatory for vehicles to stop for pedestrians at a crosswalk. No, for reals!
• “The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.” ~Neil deGrasse Tyson
• Flying cars will have to be self-flying along predetermined routes. I mean, come on! Can you imagine a typical driver now being able to occupy airspace too? No thanks.
  
  
  
• Some days it’s so quiet in my office, I can hear the sound of daydreaming.
• The next time you buy a new TV, just put your old TV in the new box, seal it up and leave it on your porch. Porch pirates will take it off your hands within hours. Recycle depot trip eliminated.
• In little red riding hood, Grandma was really a furry. But nobody knew and they killed her. Bastards!
• Interviewer: “So, what did you like the most about your last job?”  Bob: “Um, sometimes when people had birthdays, there would be free cake.”
• How do I like my breakfast sausages cooked? Crispy. Like “It’s over Anakin, I have the high ground” crispy.
• My train of thought gets derailed very easily.
• UPS: As a kid, did you ever run up to peoples’ doors, knock and run away before they answered? Great! Because we’re hiring.
• When you get up to pee in the middle of the night, do you consciously try to stay as asleep as possible so you don’t stay awake by the time you get back into bed?
• Headline: “American Girl releases first doll with hearing loss” Wait, the other dolls could hear us?