Encore!

More t-shirt fun part deux.

Killer t-shirt stuff

More t-shirt fun.

Home building 101

A friend of mine is changing careers and going back to school to learn "Residential Home Construction." Now I for one had no idea that such a course existed.
(sarcasm alert)
So what would you expect to learn on such a program? How to use a power nailer without lodging a nail in your skull? How to smoke on the job without burning the house you're building down? How to wolf whistle at passers by? (Sorry Chris, I couldn't resist)

We're now a 2 car family

The car we love so much - we bought a second one!

OK, not really. The silver one isn't ours, it belongs to guests of our neighbour. But I had to take the pic, because it's not often you see 2 TSXs beside each other.

Music meme

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer? 10.4GB (2062 songs). You'd be surprised how many of them are mine.
2. The last CD you bought is: "Another Mind" by Hiromi
3. What is the song you last listened to before this message? "Take Your Mama Out" by Scissor Sisters
4. FiveTen songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you. ( I can't just list 5, sorry)
"One of These Nights" by The Eagles (I discovered women to this song)
"Planet Claire" by the B52s (my 80's era theme song)
"Debra" by Beck (perhaps the funniest song ever written, done in the style of Prince)
"Godless" by the Dandy Warhols (it just makes the hairs on my neck stand up)
"On The Dunes" by Donald Fagen (this Steely Dan frontman speaks my language)
"In The Waiting Line" by Zero 7 (the video made me love this song even more)
"Windpower" by Thomas Dolby (I've imagined grandiose videos for this song)
"Downstream" by Supertramp (what I'd sing to Darlene if I had the nerve)
"Everything In Its Right Place" by Radiohead (see Godless - same effect)
"Great Gig in the Sky" by Pink Floyd (I wish I could have been there when this was recorded)
5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to (five persons and why)? Nobody. I treat memes the same way I treat beer in the fridge for my houseguests - you want some, go help yourself.

Thanks to the Cheesemistress

I'm speechless

New from our Spring line-up: "Plumberbutt!" Show off that ass crack in style.

Ever get the feeling you forgot something?

This happened at work:
(names changed to protect the innocent)
Me: So that's what I think we should do....
John: OK, let me know how it goes. Hey Frank!
Frank: Yeah?
John: Are those new pants you're wearing?
Frank: Yeah. [pause] How'd you know?
[I turn to look at Frank's pants]
John: Just a hunch.....
[Frank's pants still sport the clear plastic strip indicating the size of the pants]

Cruel shoes

Honey, do these shoes make me look fat?

Let me expand on a stolen joke...

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

I mean, did a group of apes attend the staff meeting and say, "Just so you know, we're going to take a pass on the next stage of evolution thing. We're going to stop speaking, do away with tools and leave our houses to the rest of you. I know you think we've gone bananas - and you're right. We've gone completely bananas! In fact, we're ape over bananas. So we're just gonna stay here in the jungle and figure out how to swing from the trees and eat bananas all day."

"Oh.......and you see how the hair's fallen off our butts? That's gonna happen to your whole body someday....."

I shoulda parked in the garage....

Ummmm.........like...........can I borrow your ice scraper dude?

Follow your nose

A scent exuded by young women as a subconscious sex attractant has been synthesised for post-menopausal women, who are finding it is luring men in droves. The secret odour does not come from the essence of alpine flowers or exotic spices so beloved of perfume ads to create a romantic image: it was isolated from a young woman's armpit sweat.

"Gee honey, did you forget to shower this morn.........oh baby! Take me you beast!"

One of my fave lines from "That 70's Show"

Red: "Come on Kitty! This isn't food.........this is what food eats!"

Laundry hell

I have this love/hate relationship with dryer sheets.

When I'm doing the laundry, I only use one sheet and I typically re-use the sheet on a second load. My accountability regarding the recovery of these sheets is impeccable - I always make sure to find the sheet in each load as I'm emptying the dryer and re-use or dispose of it accordingly. All this to avoid the dreaded "cling-on" - the sheet that sticks to the inside (or outside) of a pant, shirt or sock only to reveal itself at the most embarrassing moment.

When Darlene is doing the laundry, she will typically be much more carefree with the dryer sheets - tossing uncounted numbers of them in with utter abandon. During the sorting and putting away the laundry, I can never be sure how many sheets I have to search for before I'm sure the load has been purged of those pesky "stowaways".

Fun with error messages

R.I.P. Johnny

You were a class act.

How many times am I supposed to do this?

A colleague from work was talking about one of his daughters leaving home for the first time. He mentioned how teenaged daughters typically take 30+ minute showers and how his hot water bill would likely be substantially reduced. Then he asked why someone would need a 30+ minute shower.

I put the blame squarely on the directions on shampoo bottles. "Lather, rinse, repeat." There's no suggestion on when to stop!

Poo protesters

Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags and pictures of George W Bush into piles of dog poo in public parks. It has been going on for about a year now, with up to 3000 piles of excrement that have been 'flagged' during that time. The police say they are completely baffled as to who is to blame and have no idea what they would do if the pranksters were caught.

My favourite part of the story was: Legal experts say there is no law against using feces as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue.

Quality

2004 marks the first time that Japanese car brands (Toyota, Honda, etc.) made up for more than 30% of the US car market. I've been a Japanese car (more specifically Honda/Acura) fan since my first Honda in 1990 and am now on my 3rd (a 2004 Acura TSX). Why do I love these cars so much? Simple - quality. I have yet to drive a North American car that was as fun to drive as mine. While I owned my Accord (1992-2004), I kept a record of all maintenance costs over the 12 years I had it and it worked out to $1077 per year. That includes all preventive maintenance like oil changes and includes tires.

Holidays bad!

Our culture conspires against success with a diet. I mean - think about it. Over the Christmas Holidays, we pig out on lavish holiday meals and treats like fruitcake, eggnog etc. Then comes the unavoidable New Year's resolution to lose weight. No more treats, sensible meals - when along comes Valentine's Day in February. "Oh honey, please accept these fattening chocolates as a token of my love for you." Oh - great! Just what you need. No sooner do you resolve to stop eating the chocolates that the Valentine's gift got you started on.......along comes Easter!

Best argument against DRM yet

Unless we pay attention, DRM (Digital Rights Management) is going to drastically (try to) change the way we use video, music, etc. Cory Doctorow writes IMHO the best argument yet against this restrictive technology.

Bunny suicides

Warning.......viewing this site could result in uncontrollable laughter. There's lots to see too.
Well, there was lots to see, when it was up. I'm gonna guess the author of the Book of Bunny Suicides and the Return of Bunny Suicides had something to say about the cartoons on the site.

Update: New link. I don't know how long this'll be up...

One dumb deed deserves another...

A pregnant Russian woman went into labour in the middle of a parachute jump. Marija Usova gave birth to a baby girl minutes after landing from the jump in Moscow. She ignored warnings to jump being eight months pregnant. Halfway through her jump she suddenly felt an enormous pain and realised she had gone into labour. She managed to control her descent, close to passing out at times and landed safely where she immediately began to give birth.

OK, this is worrisome enough - what blatantly bad ideas will she contemplate with her newborn child? Go-karts? Roller-coaster? Scuba diving? Bungee jumping? Read more

Prepare to lose your mind....

There are some things that just should not be put on the Internet. I'm serious. I'm putting this link here only as proof that there are some really, really sick people out there who need help in the most urgent way. Once you see this, you'll never be the same again. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Comedy anthropology

Well, I couldn't help myself. I went out and bought the first 3 seasons of Seinfeld on DVD. It's been fun watching the beginning of this series - I had never seen this show when it first started. Kramer had a dog! But only for one show. Kramer's hair is not the insane mop we've grown used to. Elaine doesn't show up until the second show. So far, pretty interesting.

Father Guido for Pope

So - without further ado, I present my candidate for the next Pope. I only posted this because there are likely scores of you who were born before this cat was a regular on SNL.

Father Guido Sarducci on the 10 Commandments:

There were actually more than ten, but Moses was old and grumpy, and after he broke the tablets he could only remember the negative ones. "Don't do this. Don't do that." The truth is, most of them were more like advice. The Twelfth Commandment, for example, was "Whistle while you work." (People think its from Disney, but Disney stole it from God.)

You decide

Who should be the next Pope? I mean, shouldn't it be an election? Or we could have a reality TV show called Pope-stars. No I mean really - if the Pope must be decided by Divine intervention, surely God would be able to influence the outcome of the votes.....

My vote goes to the character in the post above.

Looks like riding on rims...

Michelin has unveiled something that could revolutionize the tire industry - with "tweels". If these ever take off, say good-bye to tires filled with air. They sure look some weird though.

These are a little more risque....

In my never-ending search for brilliant t-shirt slogans, I came upon a goldmine.

Warning - may not be suitable for all audiences.

Stupid furnace.....

Well, I got nuthin' today. Nuthin' but a broken furnace. It took $600, 3 visits and about 4 hours of work spread over 6 hours to get the thing going again. I am thankful this did not happen last week when it was -30C.

More posts tomorrow when I've had a chance to cool down - pardon the pun.

Bill...........you studmuffin!

1983 pose for Teen Beat. Update: It's not really a Teen Beat pic, but it's real nonetheless. Yes, that's none other than Bill Gates.

My eyes! My eyes!!

Nice...umm..........mousepad

What surprises me is not that this product is available - it's that it took this long for such a product to appear.

I hate it when that happens

So I'm guessing you've heard about the guy who didn't know he had a 4-inch nail embedded in his skull. I guess this is what happens when you coat your nails with Lidocaine....

This reminds me of that skit Billy Crystal used to do on SNL:

"Have you ever taken a nail gun - you know, and...."

"And driven a nail into your skull - through your mouth?"

"Yeah!"

"I hate it when that happens..."

More copyright nonsense

Read this story on how expensive copyright clearance renewal is leading to the death of important documentaries.

I thought TV would have learned a lesson

TV networks are doing whatever they can to get viewers to stop changing channels. They're targeting owners of TiVo, PVRs, VCRs and the like by shifting their schedules so some shows start and end a few minutes early or late. Not only can this cause recorders to miss the start or end of a show, it also can create overlaps. This is supposed to discourage viewers from switching channels if they've already missed the start of another show on another channel.

So, just like the music and movie industry, the TV industry doesn't seem to mind adopting methods that might alienate them from their fan base.

Like any other good business, I think they need to learn that a happy customer is a repeat customer. Sooner or later, viewers/listeners are going to get so fed up with the entertainment industry's controls that someone's going to come along and offer a solution with less control and the legacy industries are going to suffer and die out. Read more.

If I had my own radio station (cont.)

If you're looking for background music that's a little 'heavier' than ambient, give Moodswings a try. "Moodfood" (aural medication for tired minds) is IMHO their best album and contains a classic set, "Spiritual High" Part 1, 2 and 3. A nice, laid-back beat, vocals by Chrissie Hynde (of the Pretenders) and the finale incorporating the historic speech from Martin Luther King. Moodfood is in my experience, the most appropriate album title I've ever stumbled upon.

Run away! Run away!

This is a map of the US showing the locations of Wal-Mart stores. Is it me, or does it look like a plague spreading slowly from the East toward the West?

And................switch!

OK Eastern Canada.........you guys have had the warm weather long enough. Time's up. Now it's your turn for a couple weeks of -20C or colder. Come on! Don't make me come out there.....

Will R2D2 be far behind?

Speaking of Darth Vader, I present to you "Darth Tater". Oh my God, is he cute or what!? Hee hee!

I'd like to see the commercial for this fragrance...

Isn't it weird how current events shape our views on things? For example, there's this body spray product called Axe Tsunami, by Faberge. It's been around since before the recent events in Asia. There's a much more negative connotation to the word now. I'm guessing this product is going to get renamed real soon.

CSI Rox!

Darlene and I were watching the opening sequence of CSI (the original - thank you very much) tonight. I believe the episode name is "Snakes". When the intro is finally over and the theme music starts, she turns to me and asks, "What other show can pull off a cool 2 minute opener like that with no dialogue?"

Indeed.....

Buh-bye thong!

Anti-panti is the answer to all this "thong sticking out the back of your pants" nonsense. Go "commando" just like us guys! They're stylish too....

Surprise!

Check out this cute short on Hiccups learning what's bad for them....