Thick as a brick

The first cell phone was the Motorola Dynatac 8000X, also known as 'the brick'. It weighed 2 pounds and cost $4000.

That's it on the left. For comparison, that's the iPhone on the right.

Is that pronounced 'Snoopy'?

My next-door neighbour sent me a link to this article and I think it's pretty amazing. Rather than try to explain, I'll let the article do the talking. Safe to say that some smart people have found a way to use existing home technology to make new technology much more efficient.

Medi-Centre Roulette

Medi-Centre Roulette -noun /(mĕdˈē-sĕnˈtər-ro͞o-lĕtˈ)/

1. A gambling game in which the player bets on when is the best time to go to a Medi-Centre that will not involve a 2 to 4 hour wait, just to see a doctor for 10 minutes. (Assuming the facility hasn't already closed early)

2. The game of chance wherein while seeking medical aid from a doctor, one has to wait an indeterminate amount of time among other sick patients and hope one does not become infected with their illness as well.

Really...?

My endorsement of this ad's content (thanks Gord) is not an endorsement of the product it's selling.

But come on - it has some of 'the funny', no?

Solo to musical in no time flat

I love this video. It just gets awesomer as it plays.

That's right...... awesomer. As in mucho awesomez.

New [Gasp] I mean [Gack] I meant to say 'Gap'

On the left is the old Gap logo. On the right is the new one.

I hope they didn't pay a lot of money...........

[Update] They changed their minds. Really?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone

Holiday greetings from the 'sick house'. Darlene and I are nursing varying stages of something or another. But we have each other. And a fireplace. And movies. And blankies.

Enjoy your turkey, enjoy your families and friends and enjoy what's left of Augustober (as my friend Mark so aptly is calling it). I think this might be the warmest Thanksgiving in Calgary that I can remember. We had a Chinook arch and everything.

His identity erased

His past stolen. His whereabouts unknown.

In the funniest tribute to The Bourne Ultimatum yet, Jason Bourne is substituted with THE 'hard to find' character in this hilarious trailer spoof.

Time is broken

This is the quirkiest, neatest clock I've seen yet. The Shattered Clock arranges the numbers on the face in a manner that the numbers are only pieced together when that number is the closest hour to the current time. There is no hour hand. The minute hand simply points to the regular spot on the face to indicate the rest of the time.

So in this example, because the 4 is the only number closest to being whole and the minute hand is pointing to where the 11 should be, it's 3:55 (or 5 minutes to 4).

Morpheus meets The Dude

"Ever wonder what it would be like to explain The Matrix to The Dude? Morpheus gives it his best."

Best video mash-up I've seen this year. OK, it's the only video mash-up I've seen this year..... but still.

Am sick

Be back soon.

Will be eating what you see here at left.

Best soda / pop commercial..... ever

Finally, truth in advertising.

Too bad it's just a PSA.

The more public your internet profile is, the easier you are to find

Here's a fascinating story about a woman whose car got broken into and personal effects stolen, who then used a combination of craigslist, MySpace, a dating site, McDonald's and the help of some good Samaritans to track the thief down and help put him behind bars.

Be sure to tip your server...... and try the veal

I am a firm believer in tipping your server at a restaurant. There seems to be some misunderstanding though among the eating-out community that I'd like to address.

The standard tip is 15% of the bill, before or after tax is up to you. I typically include the tax in the calculation. Since our federal GST amount is 5%, calculating the tip is as easy (in Alberta) as tripling the GST tax. So when does the standard tip apply and when does something else apply?

If the service was adequate, the standard 15% applies. One of the reasons I make sure to tip appropriately is that servers are often forced to share their tips with the rest of the staff as restaurant policy. It may be unfair, but it's the truth in many cases. I have heard people say that they often won't tip the standard amount if they're...... how shall I say......... eating beyond their means. Sorry - if you can afford to eat a meal out, you can afford to tip. The other excuse I love is "The food is too expensive, so I'm taking it out on the tip." Patently ridiculous.

I will tip more than the standard 15% if the service was better than expected, or if the server went above the call of duty. On the other extreme, I will reduce the tip when the server's performance warrants. Let me be clear, when there's something wrong with the food that is the responsibility of the food preparation staff, I do NOT take it out on the server. It's not their fault, so there's no point making them suffer. If there's an issue with the food, that's when you mention it to the server and perhaps the manager. The tip should only be reduced when the service is sub-standard.

So, what qualifies for a reduced tip? Slower than reasonable service. I still take into account if the server is busy or over-worked. It's usually obvious. If the server is standing around yacking with staff, that's grounds for a reduction, especially if I asked for something and am still waiting. Other grounds for reduced tip include the 'dump-and-run' manoeuvre, where someone drops off your food and never bothers to check up on you until you're done. Getting the order wrong is a big no-no as well.

I'm a month half full person

Assuming you're open to counting Fridays as weekend days, this October has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This means that half of the days of this month are weekend days!

Woo-hoo!

Stolen from J-Walk blog.

If you don't laugh.... you're dead

OK, so here's the deal. This week from Wednesday through Saturday, Loose Moose theatre is having a homecoming, where many alumni are coming back to the umm..... nest to uh...... roost. Do moose roost? I know they roast nice.... but I digress.

A.n.y.w.a.y......... these 'made-it-big-time' alumni are offering a glimpse of their talents for free (to the theatre) to help raise money for Loose Moose. If you were even remotely thinking of going to The Moose someday, this would be a marvellous time to go. Take my word for it. I'm going 2 nights out of the 4. It's going to be that good. That's a threat, not a promise.

Just go.....

People pylon

Leave it to forward-thinking Iceland to take the drab electrical transmission line tower and convert it to a work of art. They will be converting the pylons to look like human beings with only slight modification to the design.

"Puts people on streets"

I heart this cover of Under Pressure starring two Kermit the frog puppets.

Baggin' it

I love this mockumentary of the life cycle of the plastic bag, narrated by none other than Jeremy Irons.

Well, almost anything....

Doors are not anything, dude.

Oh look! The playlist has changed!

That's right. New music in the playlist. No group theme this week. I added the SOTD, then started at Z and worked my way backwards. I love music so much. I hope you do too.

There's a lot of power out there

According to scientists, a ginormous solar sail could be deployed tens of millions of miles away from Earth to harvest the power of solar winds. This could generate 1 billion billion gigawatts of electricity. That's more than 100 billion times as much power as the Earth currently uses.

The problem is figuring out how to get the power back to Earth.

A toy possessed

Darlene bought a used talking Fifi doll (from Fifi and the Flowertots) for Olivia that has turned our quiet tranquil home into the equivalent of a haunted house.

This doll is supposed to talk when you squeeze its belly, but Fifi seems to have a mind of her own and will speak days after you've touched her. Numerous times I'll be minding my own business when out of nowhere this high pitched voice pierces the air with a variety of phrases. Scares the living crap out of you. This doll talks all day and all night. Don't be taking a midnight slug of water in a dark kitchen when this doll is around. The batteries inside Fifi have almost run out, rendering her loud outburst to little more than electronic peeps and blurps a-la R2D2. Her voice is just barely above the threshold of hearing now. But it's still unnerving.

Darlene thinks it's quite funny. I don't share her warped sense of humour on this one. It helps (for her) that she's slightly hard of hearing.

[Update] I thought the batteries were almost dead. Then yesterday it appears to have gained strength and is as loud as ever. Darlene, now knowing that the doll is freaking me out, has taken to pranking me by hiding the doll in unexpected places. She swears that she has not replaced the batteries. If that's true, then this doll is freakier than I first thought. I predict a violent end for this doll. Hopefully Olivia doesn't become too attached to it......

Are you a fan of The Floyd?

Did you answer yes? OK then, if you happen to have an HDTV and subscribe to the HD channels in Canada, then I recommend setting your PVR to record HDNet Canada tonight at 10:15pm until 11:55pm (MST) for David Gilmour: Remember that Night - Live at Royal Albert Hall. In this performance, David plays his whole solo album On an Island, then launches into Pink Floyd favourites from every era. There are numerous famous guests sharing the stage with him. This would be one of Rick Wright's last performances before he died.

If you can't get this show (or you don't have HDTV) I can arrange to screen the show for you as I have the DVD. Just let me know when you're coming over.

Who will win?

Latest poll on contenders for North Korea's next leader.

Today the horsies... tomorrow?

Olivia's first ride on one of those coin operated mall rides.

Convincing her to get off of the ride - that was the hard part.

Things not to say in an elevator

I think we’re over the weight limit.
Tickle fight!
(On cell phone) Is it contagious?
I have a fear of elevators. And clothing. And appropriateness.
Does this red button bring the hot firemen?
(Straining) Does anyone know where the nearest toilet is?
I've got a bad feeling about this...

So true

Just read this blog post already.

"I'm from Britain in case you didn't notice..."

This limey can do quite a few accents. Pretty impressive.

Warning: NSFW! Contains cursing. Profusely.

My To-Don't list for this weekend

• Don't assume the honey-do list is almost finished.
• Don't expect Darlene to be happy that hockey season is back.
• Don't bother raking the leaves yet. Wind storms are forecast in a few days.
• Don't look neighbour in the eyes while leaves are still partly on his front yard.
• Don't look at the calendar. It's October already and that's pretty damned depressing.
• Don't put all the patio furniture away just yet. That just signals the universe that you've given up on the possibility of any nice weather returning.
• Don't bring up the fact that you wouldn't mind if Darlene let her hair turn grey. That subject is taboo.
• Don't let the household supply of chocolate run out before Sunday. Darlene is never impressed when there's no chocolate.