A toy possessed

Darlene bought a used talking Fifi doll (from Fifi and the Flowertots) for Olivia that has turned our quiet tranquil home into the equivalent of a haunted house.

This doll is supposed to talk when you squeeze its belly, but Fifi seems to have a mind of her own and will speak days after you've touched her. Numerous times I'll be minding my own business when out of nowhere this high pitched voice pierces the air with a variety of phrases. Scares the living crap out of you. This doll talks all day and all night. Don't be taking a midnight slug of water in a dark kitchen when this doll is around. The batteries inside Fifi have almost run out, rendering her loud outburst to little more than electronic peeps and blurps a-la R2D2. Her voice is just barely above the threshold of hearing now. But it's still unnerving.

Darlene thinks it's quite funny. I don't share her warped sense of humour on this one. It helps (for her) that she's slightly hard of hearing.

[Update] I thought the batteries were almost dead. Then yesterday it appears to have gained strength and is as loud as ever. Darlene, now knowing that the doll is freaking me out, has taken to pranking me by hiding the doll in unexpected places. She swears that she has not replaced the batteries. If that's true, then this doll is freakier than I first thought. I predict a violent end for this doll. Hopefully Olivia doesn't become too attached to it......