Who is that guy on the money anyway?

Canadian Tire (a Canadian equivalent to Ace Hardware or Lowe's for all my American readers) is planning to offer financial services now. People better be ready to read the fine print on their accounts and/or contracts, lest the store remunerate their customers with Canadian Tire money (only redeemable at said store).

For those unfamiliar with Canadian Tire money, the store gives you a bonus of this stuff based on a percentage of what you buy. As a kid, I used to hoard the stuff to try to buy myself things I couldn't otherwise afford. Sorry Mom......... it was me that spent it all.

This could help treat SAD too

This is one of the cooler environmentally friendly technologies that will be coming our way soon - Hybrid Solar lighting. The idea is that a satellite-dish-like mirror mounted on the roof tracks the sun's position across the sky and captures the light with great efficiency and transmits it via plastic optical fibre to the rooms below (augmenting the artificial lights). This is suited well to single story buildings (as the fibres only transmit the light well up to 50 feet). You'll even enjoy the nice orange glow that accompanies sunrises and sunsets. Make sure to view the video at the link.

SAD is Seasonal Affective Disorder

Maybe it's Maybelline........

On this web page, you're asked to look at 6 faces and figure out if each of them is a real photo of a face, or a computer generated image.

Don't spill that coffee though.......

There are many things you can do to your workspace to reduce strain and injury. Try not to get too hung up by the fact that it's an article on a Mac web site. And for Pete's sake don't follow this person's example by leaving your coffee perched so close to the edge of the desk............ right above the computer case.......

The effects are quick

Many smokers who are considering quitting, but don't think they'll see any benefit for a long time can take comfort in this article: What happens to your body if you stop smoking right now.

I've been quit for more than 7 years now, so it's looking pretty good.

If you're big into buildings

If you're big into architecture, then this web site of great buildings will keep you busy for weeks.

Roles reversed

You know what would make a good skit? Imagine a bunch of kids (5-13 years old) shopping in various stores in a mall talking, bargaining and trying merchandise like adults, while the adults play in a playroom.

I don't know............. it sounds funny to me.......

Those easily offended: Run away! Run away!

I'm sure I've mentioned how much I love the show Weeds before. I found a clip online where the character Uncle Andy gives pointers on masturbation to the youngest son Shane.

This clip is not safe for work, kids, or anyone uncomfortable with talk about what makes your palms hairy.

The Village at Pine Peak Pointe

Attention city planners everywhere. The funny folks at DenverInfill Blog have come up with a handy chart to help devise new, distinctive names for development neighbourhoods. Just read across from left to right and in no time, you'll be discovering great new names for developments that scream "cookie cutter". Examples:

The Estates at Eagle Crest Butte. The Homes at Mountain Creek Commons. See how easy it is?

The grid at right is only a piece of the whole grid.

"Bang!"

The US Army has had a number of slogans over the years, the most famous ones being "Be all that you can be" and "We do more before 9 AM than most people do all day". Their latest slogan was "An Army of One", which sure didn't seem to last long - nor was it very memorable. Just reminded me of "7 of 9 (Borg) from the Star Trek Voyageur series..... but I digress.

Well, the marketing geniuses have come up with a new slogan - "Army Strong". Am I the only person who thinks this is lame? "Terrorists Bad!" would have been a better one. Will the new Navy tag line be "Navy Wet"? "Air Force Fast"? "Marines Ugly"? How about "Navy Seals Sneaky"?

The Gimli Glider story

C-GAUN, the Air Canada Boeing 767-200 airliner that will forever be known as the Gimli Glider. This is the story of a jet that, due to a fuel measurement error (kg versus lbs of fuel) had to glide to a landing on an old Air Force runway because it ran clear out of fuel.

The best part of the story is that the maintenance crew dispatched to Gimli Manitoba to repair the jet and make it air-worthy, ran out of gas on the drive from Winnipeg to Gimli. No simulation run has ever been able to duplicate the successful landing these lucky pilots pulled off that day.

The new maths... take 2

When in doubt............... improvise!

Did you know blogs are evil?

Here's a web site that clears up a Christian position on blogging. My fave quote: "no one —including adults —should have a blog or personal website (unless it is for legitimate business purposes)"
Which pretty much clears up the reason for their site then (legitimate business purposes).........

[burp]

Google just bought YouTube.com for $1.65 billion.

The beast just ate an appetizer..........

Not your average pizza box

I don't know if these are Toppers Pizza boxes, gift cards or what........... but they sure are funny.

Might as well jump....

Would you like to see some trampoline and other acrobatic skills? Introducing Adam Menzies.

"...hopefully not one of those sandwiches from Subway"

Once in a while you might stumble upon some of those concert riders on the internet. A rider is basically the requests an artist or band makes.......... they often make entertaining reading. I think this one is the topper though. Iggy Pop's rider is beyond funny. The first 11 pages are just Iggy giving a tutorial about how to set their gear up, complete with war stories. By page 13 we start getting into the food requirements.

No longer safe to stop and smell the roses....

This almost makes sense - a litter box disguised as a planter........... or is it a planter disguised as a litter box?

This is good

You may have heard me harp about consumer's digital rights from time to time. Now Canada has a movement designed to increase awareness and promote activism in that regard - Online Rights Canada. As they put it:

Online Rights Canada (ORC) is a grassroots organization that promotes the public's interest in technology and information policy. We believe that Canadians should have a voice in copyright law, access to information, freedom from censorship, and other issues that we face in the digital world.

My latest poster creation

Turkey fetish? You're gonna love this............

Shaw Cable TV (our local provider) has concluded that their Xmas tradition of showing a live feed of a roaring wood fireplace on channel 10 (I'm not kidding) was such a success, that it's time to extend the concept to other holidays. So today (I'm guessing any time now), they will be broadcasting "Turkey TV", a live feed of the roasting of a turkey, complete with "up to the minute bastings and exclusive stoking of the fire that will be sure to keep viewers on the edge of their seats throughout this thrilling turkey program".

Update: Someone posted a clip of Turkey TV on YouTube. In case you thought I was kidding.

I'm really not making this up - see this press release. So, what's next? Can we expect Shaw to broadcast live feeds at other celebrations throughout the year? My predictions (thanks to Ernest for some inspiration on this):

Nov 11 - Live feed from the Legion, watching vets and serving military alike getting shit-assed drunk. On-screen counter to track the articles of uniformed clothing removed.

Dec 31 - Live feed of a New Year's party. This would be immediately followed by the New Year's Day feed, featuring the "vomit-cam".

Valentine's Day - We follow a Private Investigator on spy missions to catch video footage of cheating spouses going on romantic dates with their extra-curricular love interest. OK, maybe not.....

Easter - Live feed of an Easter candy hunt in a large family's home. We get to witness the search, the collecting and finally the consumption of copious amounts of candy and chocolate, then as a bonus, watch as the kids go on a sugar-induced hyperactive tear for hours.

May 24 long weekend - Live feed from Waiparous. This would only make sense to Calgary area locals, but Waiparous is a wilderness area at the foot of the Rockies where 4x4 enthusiasts by the thousands camp out and tear up the landscape all weekend and act surprised when other people complain. This beer-fueled mudfest would be rated R.

Draw you

I found this entertaining for a little while. You can create your own avatar, but some items (like sports jerseys) cost money. Oh well, I just chose the free stuff.

That's me on the left. The web takes 40 pounds off of me...............

Torn........ like you've never seen it before

Here's a funny skit shown at a to-remain-unnamed gathering of comedy acts which may or may not take place in Montre....... errr Canadiens-ville every summer. I'm being obscure (and not posting a picture of the clip) so the legal weenies from said organization don't send me pointless yet intimidating take down notices for...... awww just go see the clip OK?

124 is good, right?

If you've got 30 minutes or more to spare, try this IQ test.

I scored 124......... although, I could not solve 3 of the questions at all and it does carry a disclaimer that the result isn't 100% accurate.

No dishes to clean either....

This Thanksgiving we decided to let someone else cook dinner for us......... specifically, we let the chefs at the Delta Kananaskis take care of it. For those of you unfamiliar with the Calgary area, Kananaskis Country is the closest Rocky Mountain destination to the city, with the added bonus of no park entrance fees (unlike Banff). The meal was great in that I got to sample a lot more variety than I would have at home (cooking for 2 isn't easy). Overall quality I rate a 7 (I'm a stickler for food that is served hot). We were seated right by a window and the view (almost sunset) was breathtaking. Snow was already covering most of the mountains and yet there were still some coloured leaves on some trees. I'm so glad to be living in an area so close to such raw beauty.

The highlight for me was watching the kids. Temper tantrums and crying fits aside (counting to 3 doesn't work, mom), the Delta put on a separate buffet spread just for them, down nearer the floor at their level. Fun to watch. The dote-a-thon was funny too. It was like watching a practice run for Xmas, some parents were pretty much letting their kids have whatever they wanted.... and getting photographic evidence of it to study later. Staff were in great supply going table to table performing magic tricks and making balloon animals. It was quite a spectacle.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Sorry for the confusion America, we celebrate Thanksgiving early. If we don't get the harvest in by mid-October, the glaciers move in and trap you in the fields under a 200 foot thick sheet of ice 'til Spring, which for us - is late May.

Anyway, gotta get back to preparing dinner................ arctic sabertooth wooly turkey needs a good tenderizing before you can throw it on the bonfire. Otherwise, it's only fit for the sled dogs........

It's really good! Too bad you can't buy it.......

Speaking of food, I recall seeing a segment on our local TV station (CFCN) about a comparison of bottled iced teas. They claimed that Honest Tea won out over other brands, adding that it had less sugar than other bottled iced teas too. Well, that's wonderful.......... so I went looking for the stuff. That's when the trouble started. I can't find it anywhere.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if our beloved local TV station carried a review from an American news agency. Which would turn out to be pretty silly, considering that the best rated product may not even be sold in Canada. Has anyone seen this tea (in a store in Canada)?

It be good fer ye......

A new 'organic' store opened in our neighbourhood (Planet Organic) - which is no big deal for me, but I still wanted to see what they sold. I found a snack food item I've never seen before - one I believe must be adopted as the official snack food of September 19th (talk like a pirate day).

Landlubbers and lassies, I present unto thee - Pirate's Booty!

Latest meme

I got tagged by Blah Blah Blog-o-licious to do this meme. Fine, but I'm not tagging anyone else.

Three things that scare me:
1. Heights; 2. Drowning; 3. Nobody likes me (wow... deep eh?)

Three people that make me laugh:
1. Ze Frank; 2. Jon Stewart; 3. Kramer

Three things I hate the most:
1. Religion; 2. Suffering; 3. People with bigger egos than me

Three things I don't understand:
1. Suicide; 2. Makeup (the reason behind it); 3. Why we haven't colonized space yet

Three things I'm doing right now:
1. Enjoying an Irish Cream (flavoured) coffee; 2. Blogging; 3. Waiting for Darlene to wake up

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Act in something; 2. Operate my own business; 3. View the earth from space (I'll take a realistic virtual view if necessary)

Three things I can do:
1. Teach complex topics in a way anyone can understand; 2. Make that Spock "live long and prosper" sign with my hand; 3. Recite the alphabet backwards really fast

Three ways to describe my personality:
1. Pompous; 2. Imaginative; 3. Curious

Three things I can't do:
1. Swim; 2. Skate (yeah..... I'm Canadian); 3. Eat a lot of pork without getting indigestion

Three things I think you should listen to:
1. Zero 7; 2. Your intuition.... it's always right; 3. your wife.... trust me on this

Three things you should never listen to:
1. the sound a fan blade makes up close (with the grille removed); 2. experts; 3. The album Dark Side of the Moon as the soundtrack for The Wizard of Oz

Three things I'd like to learn:
1. to fly an aircraft; 2. to act (working on it as we speak); 3. self-liposuction

Three favorite foods:
1. burgers!; 2. real, fresh cut 'chip truck' french fries [drool]; 3. all of Darlene's baking

Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. Water; 2. Iced tea (sweetened); 3. Cranberry juice

Three shows I watched as a kid:
1. Electric Company; 2. Star Trek; 3. Hockey Night in Canada

Let's roll!

Great video clip of a drive from Los Angeles to New York (7 days) played in 4 minutes (severely edited of course). The soundtrack ain't bad either.