Small things 24 Feb

• The reason China sent all those spy balloons is because not enough of you use TikTok.
• Inflation rates are so high, they’ve got a serious case of the munchies.
• I would be 100% in favour of a change to our national anthem to change the words from "Oh Canada, our home and native land." to "Oh Canada, our home on native land."

Robin: Batman, the Batmobile won't start.

Batman: Check the battery

Robin: What's a tery?

• In a world of Kardashian sisters, be a Wilson sister. (Ann & Nancy)
• I asked ChatGPT the meaning of life and it replied, “You won’t find it here.” j/k
• When you’re trying to fall asleep and your brain asks, “What’s thirst’s version of ‘starving’ called?”
• Dear Stouffer’s: Before you disappear from Canadian store shelves, please restock the fucking chicken pot pies! Thank you very much.
• When Google’s AI chatbot and Microsoft’s AI chatbot are both publicly available, I’m gonna get them to prompt each other and see which one melts down first. Also it’s just a matter of time before we refer to AI sex as ‘prompting each other’.
• Nobody wants to hear you play chopsticks.
• Atheism. A non-prophet organization.
• The only reason tables exist in Microsoft Word is so that you can place images exactly where you want on the page.
• Bricks are domesticated rocks. Discuss.
• Why is Facebook putting invitations for extreme right wing personalities in my feed? Doesn’t it realize that these people just make me madder than hel…….. Oh. Right. I forgot.

Kid thought it would be fun to give the dog eyebrows

 

Things we used to do just to listen to tunes

Before streaming and mp3s and cassettes there was just vinyl. You didn’t just buy a turntable, take it out of the box and start playing records. No, you had to set it up properly.

This video shows how we did that. By the way, when I used to DJ, every time I set up at another gig, I had to go through a fast version of this, so that everything worked properly. I wish I’d had that stylus gauge though.

I know a guy...

 

Cavemen, wizards, gorillas, babies, switcheroo

Have you ever seen the 2011 remake of Rush’s Tom Sawyer? 

It’s bloody hilarious.

If I started a band, this would be my second album cover

 

Things I learned lately 24 Feb

• There was a spread of 106 degrees Fahrenheit across the contiguous continental US on 24 Feb 2023. 34C (93.2F) in Arcadia FL, -25C (-13F) in Shelby MT. (Reported at 1pm MST)
  
  
  
• You knew it was coming sooner or later. Social media platforms are now going to ask you to pay for nice features. That’s how it starts.
• Apple is looking to get cooperation from vehicle manufacturing brands to allow owners to be able to unlock their cars using their Apple Wallet.
• In Iceland, geothermal provides 66% of the energy.
• 'Google' is the most searched word on Bing search.
• Microsoft's revenue is dominated by server products and cloud services (34%); Office products & services (23%); Windows (13%); gaming (8%); LinkedIn (7%); search advertising (6%). Google on the other hand, earns 82% of its revenue from advertising.
• It appears that Microsoft is investing heavily in OpenAI while Google is instead working with Google Brain, DeepMind and Anthropic.
• If you get PowerToys, a set of cool add-ons for Windows, one of the things you get is a tool called ‘find my mouse’. If you ever can’t find your mouse pointer, you press left ‘control’ twice and it will be momentarily spotlighted.
• Scientists and medical professionals had misgivings about using lead in gasoline right from the start (1920s), but their concerns were ignored, in large part because of the strong lead and oil  industry lobby. Workers at the first leaded gas plants were even dying of lead poisoning. The guy who invented leaded gas even suffered from lead poisoning.
• Leaded gas is still used in piston engine aircraft.
• We’re getting a ‘black toonie’ soon in Canada (pictured). The $2 coin will be honouring the late Queen Elizabeth.

Wait, what?

 

Feel it rise within you

 

Rush, drawn as Peanuts

 

I would totally watch this

 

I also happen to love burritos

 

Watching a trailer

 

Nuance

Ready for another great open-minded discussion? How about one on vaccines? 

This one, hosted by none other than Jon Stewart, does a bang up job discussing how the institutions we rely on kind of missed the mark in how they informed us on what the risks around all of our choices are. Really great stuff and hopefully it helps you to understand why there are so many people, who are not crazy, vindictive or selfish, who just don’t trust the science. Because it's incomplete.

Then they got into the whole ‘long covid’ thing, and that’s where the discussion got really interesting.

IKEA doesn't like single people?

 

Small things 17 Feb

• I saw a spy balloon while driving my car! Then I realized it was just bird poop on my windshield.
• Start a peanut butter company named Gif, wait for the inevitable lawsuit, let a court of law decide the pronunciation once and for all.
• Never make snow angels in the dog park.
• Has anyone ever tried cutting a grilled cheese sandwich other than diagonally?
• Find someone who cares about you as much as GMail cares about new devices signing into your account.
• How to give a Canadian an aneurism: Just scream at them, “Stop saying sorry!”
• [Every muscle, tendon, bone and ligament in my body aches as I stand up] “Yes, I would like to ‘party’.
• Air vents in action movies are spotless. Have the air vent cleaning companies been lying to us this whole time?
• I don’t understand the existence of triple cheese Kraft Dinner. ALL Kraft Dinner should be triple cheese.
• For fun I went into realtor.ca and plugged in $2,000,000 - $5,000,000 as my price range. Damned website said “Please choose a price range you can afford.” j/k
• What do you mean there are people who live out of their suitcase on vacation and don’t put the clothes in the drawers and closet?
• Oh you think lockdowns during Covid were inconvenient? Just imagine your life during the prohibition era. It lasted 13 years.

Nice try aliens

 

The Korgis did it right

If you are a subscriber to a music streaming service, you've probably come across songs you are familiar with that have been re-recorded by the original artist. Most of the time this is being done because the artist who made the original recording doesn't have all the publishing rights to the music, and there is some kind of complication in getting that music onto a streaming service like apple music or Spotify or whatever the case may be. so the artist basically gives the publisher the middle finger and says “Fine be that way, I'll just re-record the song.”

While that is great, the problem is that most of the time, the re-recording is just plain awful. The singer is much older and doesn't have the same voice they used to. The musicians and the sound engineer just haven't found the same sound they had when they originally recorded the song. There's always something, or more likely a lot of things, that make the new version of the song a cheap knockoff of the original. That sounds really judgmental, but if there's one thing I learned about music, it's that when we listen to songs we like from earlier in our life again and again, it is like we are reinforcing an imprint of the original memory of the song and its associations in our lives. So if anything is off, it seems like a fraud, an imposter, and it doesn't do anything to reinforce the original memory. It's really a shame that we think like this, and if you can't identify with this feeling, then maybe I'm just being hypercritical.

Enter The Korgis. You may remember them from the 1970s music era. they were a one hit wonder, and their song was everybody's got to learn sometime. It was one of my favorite songs from that era, and at one point I spent decades trying to figure out who it was before I finally was able to make use of the internet to figure out who they were. Their song has been a part of my music library ever since. Here's the problem. At some point I switched from Spotify to Apple Music, and I noticed that the original recording wasn't available, but a re-recorded version was readily available. Rolling my eyes, I thought to myself here we go again. but I took a chance and actually listened to this new version. Much to my amazement and surprise and joy, not only was the new recording faithful to the sound, mood, vocal, and everything else about the original song, the new recording actually sounded better. I don't know how they did it, but I wish more artists were able to pull off that magic. Well done! 

Oh Ricki

 

Things I learned lately 17 Feb

• The natural language processing (NLP) that forms the interface between users and ChatGPT (natural language AI query tool) has been around for a while in other forms. Your auto correct and auto suggest features on your phone are a type of NLP.
• The ‘transformer’ machine learning model that forms the basis of ChatGPT was developed by a team at Google Brain in 2017.
• A heavy industry consortium in Germany wants to bring back a DC electricity grid to make the path between generation, storage and use in plants with heavy usage much more efficient. This makes sense, considering that generation and consumption both happen as DC current in most of those cases. Tesla must be turning in his grave.
• Part of what is now Texas used to be called New Philippines.
• The state name Montana was almost applied to what is now Idaho, and Montana could have been named Shoshone.
• The oldest known company in the world that still exists today is the Japanese construction company named Kongo Gumi, which had its start in 578AD building a temple for Prince Shotoku.
• The first car that didn’t need a crank to start it was the 1912 Cadillac Model 30.

Cake package fail

 

Is there any hope for hydrogen car?

One of the things that I have always been fascinated with about Electric cars, is the talk about how the one thing holding electric cars back from Mass adoption and affordability is the battery. Batteries are expensive to make. batteries are very heavy. The cells that make up a car battery are very finicky and need to be managed very specifically by software. We still haven't entirely figured out how to completely recycle a car battery once it is no longer able to hold a practical charge. although I have to admit that in the last couple of years, the battery industry has made big strides toward beginning the recycling process. Batteries take a long time to recharge. Thankfully the situation has gotten better in the last couple of years, and if you plan it right, you can actually get a significant charge into a battery in a rather short period of time. I'm not talking mere minutes, but definitely under 30 minutes and if you're lucky maybe even 20. batteries aren't as efficient in the cold. This is true both from the perspective of putting a charge into a battery and how much actual capacity is available to be used. With each passing year, new battery formulas and Technologies are discovered which eventually make their way into a car battery. but I'm sure we can all agree that the battery is the Achilles heel of an electric vehicle.

What about hydrogen? If you ask Elon Musk, he wastes no time letting you know that hydrogen is not the answer. But why? if you had a tank in your electric vehicle storing compressed hydrogen, it would be faster to fill, almost as fast as a gasoline car. If you want a longer range, just install a bigger tank. Hydrogen is used in combination with oxygen from the air to create electricity and the waste product is water vapor. it's not extraordinarily efficient, but it's definitely viable. yet there doesn't seem to be a lot of Industry players who are exploring the hydrogen solution. At the moment, the only two car manufacturers that seem interested in hydrogen are Hyundai, Toyota and Honda. So what's the deal? One of the problems has to do with how hydrogen is created. You can make hydrogen using  renewable energy. but there isn't enough renewable energy around to mass produce enough hydrogen to scale up to a car economy. You can also make hydrogen from methane. This is as dirty as making electricity from natural gas, so not very many people think this is the way to go. 

I've never completely lost faith that hydrogen might coexist with electric cars storing energy in a battery, but it's hard to get balanced information about the pros and cons without falling into a rabbit hole owned by the industry interested in promoting or killing hydrogen as a solution. so it was with unexpected and wonderful surprise that I stumbled across this YouTube video, where an unbiased scientist tells it like it is. please enjoy. 

My +Jews charger..... crap, it's upside down..... never mind

 

Small things 11 Feb

• Gen Zer: Isn’t the band No Doubt from the late 1900s? Boomers: [sigh]
• Why should employers be the only ones that can ask for references? Next time you apply for a job say “Bring me 3 happy employees please.”
• When you’re eating a sandwich and some of it gets stuck to the roof of your mouth and the phone rings.
• 2013 Didn’t run; 2014 Didn’t run; 2015 Didn’t run; 2016 Didn’t run; 2017 Didn’t run; 2018 Didn’t run; 2019 Didn’t run; 2020 Didn’t run; 2021 Didn’t run; 2022 Didn’t run. It’s a running joke.
• The internet used to be just for watching cat videos. Now it’s for monitoring the real-time collapse of late stage capitalism and democracy.
• Why do documentaries feel the need to show the subject in the act of sitting down and fussing with their lapel mic?
• Been on a diet for a week. Lost 7 days of joy.
• Is it really necessary to have two sizes of forks?
• If there was no such thing as teaspoons, would food have more flavour?
• We don’t have a labour shortage. We have a pay and benefits shortage.
• Sure, you can think and learn, but can you rethink and unlearn?
• Engineer: So, the toaster burns the bread when you put it up to 5.  Chief engineer: Make it go to 10.

Sense of humour

 

I asked ChatGPT what a good 2nd language would be to learn in Canada

'Mandarin'. Right on the money.

 

Wolves are fascinating

I learned a lot about wolves watching this video. 

Hierarchy and status are very important. 

They are very curious animals.

It wasn't a spy balloon

 It was just a trial new delivery service for Chinese food.

Things I learned lately 11 Feb

• Switching to a password-free Microsoft personal account is great, except that you now need the app on your phone, which is not too bad. But what’s not great is when GMail tries to access the account and can’t because the password no longer works. Oh well…
• The guys from the band Rush have their own beer and now their own mustard, also made from that beer.
• The cameras in many smartphone brands are off-the-shelf components made by Sony.
• On the third day of Expo ‘67 in Montreal, a record 569,500 visitors were in attendance.
• Almost 55 million people attended Expo ‘67 at a time when Canada's population was only 20 million, setting a per-capita record for World Exhibition attendance that still stands. Planners had only expected about 20 million visitors.
• A 20 by 40 foot 3D model of the Expo ‘67 site was made to put on display at Macy’s department store in NYC to help promote the fair.
• The Expo Express train built for Expo ‘67 was the first fully-automated rapid transit system in North America. This fact was not widely publicized, as it was felt the public would not readily board a train controlled entirely by a computer. Operators from Montreal's transit union were placed in cabs at the front to pretend they were driving, and given the task of opening and closing the doors of the train to reduce boredom.
• Guns now kill more children up to age 19 than any other cause in the United States.
• Alaska came from the Aleut name ‘ACAXSXAQ’. The Russians called it ‘ALYASKA’, which became Alaska.

I ask ChatGPT to write a standup routine

 

Small things 4 Feb

• George Santos went to a Starbucks and caused a huge lineup. Yeah, he couldn’t decide which name to give them.
• The already positive Covid rapid test. Or as some people call it, the weekend extender device.
• Guess why dark is spelled with a ‘k’, instead of a ‘c’? You can’t ‘c’ in the dark.
• Live dangerously. Tell an avid hiker that living life to the fullest doesn’t have to include hiking.
• Remember the song from 40 years ago, ‘We’re not gonna take it”? Turns out, we continue to take it.
• When the box indicates that the microwave instructions are based on a 1000 watt oven. Who are they kidding? Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave. 
• Can we go back to putting gargoyles on buildings again?
• When you’re a kid, you don’t realize that you’re also watching your parents grow up.
• “Let me merge, or I swear I’ll kill us both.” I love how that could apply both to driving and Excel.
• I’m an anti-faxer. I will gladly march on the capitol to demonstrate against fax mandates.
• “Nobody in China ever says ‘Are you in the mood for Chinese?’” ~Jerry Seinfeld
• Should black olives be called Greece's pieces?
• “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”—George Carlin

Me as a kid: [Falls 10 feet from the monkey bars] “I'M OK!”
Me now: “I tried to scoop ice cream that was just a little too frozen and dislocated my shoulder.”

Buildings be huggin'

 

Movie flops

Here's a list of movies that didn't earn much money compared to what it cost them to make.

Beloved; budget $53m; box office $22.8m

Battlefield Earth; budget $44m; box office $29.7m

The Astronaut’s Wife; budget $33m; box office $19.6m

Ali; budget $118m; box office $87.7m

Around the World in 80 Days; budget $110m; box office $72.1m

The Alamo; budget $107m; box office $25.8m

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle; budget $76m; box office $35m

The Adventures of Pluto Nash; budget $100m; box office $7m

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen; budget $20m; box office $8m

Note to self: Never name your movie The Adventures of…..

Nice jeep

Officer: So how did your front bumper get so banged in? 

Jeep driver: Uh, well, you see, this Range Rover just stopped dead for no good reason, I swear!

Harrowing escape from The Donetsk

This is a story that was told to me lately that I felt needed to be told to others. I currently work with a number of people who have come to Canada from the Ukraine, some very recently, and some many years ago. This particular story was told to me by someone originally from Ukraine who has been living in Canada for about 10 years with her Ukrainian husband. 

This woman and her husband have a young niece that was living in the Donetsk region of the Ukraine which of course as you probably know is currently occupied by Russian forces. For the purposes of the story, we will refer to this young woman as Olena. Olena feared for her life, and knew she had to somehow escape her country if she was going to survive. She would have liked to have headed west into the part of Ukraine that is not occupied by Russian soldiers, but this is probably the most dangerous option of escaping the region because you would have to pass directly through the front lines of the war. This is not exactly a practical or safe option. So as frightening as it may seem, her only escape route was in fact through Russia. She crossed the border into Russia during the night, boarded a bus, which thankfully was not inspected along its route, and she made her way to Moscow.

Her friend in Canada gave her very specific instructions on how she could possibly leave the country. It would involve going to the Canadian embassy to obtain very specific paperwork, including travel documents. Then she would have to catch a flight from Moscow to Turkey, because of course flights from Moscow to Canada are no longer possible thanks to our embargo. Meanwhile she was instructed to stay out of the spotlight, because if the Russian authorities were to discover that a Ukrainian national was trying to escape through Russia, they very likely would have detained her and her future would be uncertain at the very least.

I asked this colleague how the family in Moscow was related to them and she said they were not. They were total strangers that had been found through Facebook. After 2 months of hiding with this Russian family, and constant pressure on the Canadian government to get the niece travel documents, she finally got the documents she needed from the Canadian embassy to board a flight to Turkey and went to the airport with a ticket she had bought for her by her friends in Canada. 

Unfortunately, the authorities would not let her board the plane. She went through the process of getting three different tickets for three different flights to Turkey, and in each case the authorities would not let her board the flight. She was panicking, losing her mind, and unable to imagine how she was going to get out of this situation alive. She had very little money and was now attracting far too much attention to herself.

Thankfully, the security staff that had been preventing her from boarding a flight changed shifts and whoever took over were more sympathetic to her circumstance and let her board the next flight using the fourth ticket that had been bought for her by her friends in Canada. Once she was in Turkey, she then had to fly to Toronto, and then finally to Calgary. This ordeal cost the friends in Calgary well over $10,000, but now Olena is safe in Canada and no longer fears for her life. 

It certainly puts our lives in context with how others are suffering. Consider all of the people stuck in the occupied parts of Ukraine that can't escape. We really don't have anything to complain about. Not really. 

But why though?

 

Things I learned lately 4 Feb

• The Saint-Michel quarry, bought by the city of Montreal in 1984, is used as a dumping ground for snow removed from city streets. It receives 4.8 million cubic metres of snow every year, or 40% of the city’s total snowfall.
• Amsterdam just opened an underground bicycle parking structure with spots for 7,000 bikes, which will increase to 11,000 in another month. 
• The oldest subway system is London’s, which opened in 1863.
• The most extensive subway system by rail length in Shanghai’s, at 802 km. Comparatively, Montreal’s subway is 71 km.
• The Clinton Station Diner has some colossal Burgers of the Gods, many of which come with a challenge. The Achilles, with 1 pound of meat, is $15.49. Going up from there, the Hercules (2 lbs) is $25.09; the Atlas (3 lbs) is $36.99; the Zeus (7 lbs) is $86.49; the Mt Olympus (25 lbs) is $ 251.69; and the big daddy of them all, the 8th Wonder (50lbs) is $506.49. 
• The subway system with the most stations is New York’s, with 424 stations (stations with multiple platforms are counted as one.
• China has the most extensive set of subway systems of any country, with 46 systems covering over 9100 km of rail line and a total of 5386 stations. Today.
• Ashburn Virginia has a very high concentration of data centers, as it sits atop the world’s densest intersection of fiber optic networks. Loudoun county has over 25 million square feet of data center space. That is enough space for 83 IKEA stores.
• On modern diesel locomotives, the bell sound is actually produced by a speaker, attached to the underframe.