Me after watching 4 seasons of Yellowstone

 

Did you though?

 

Europe on a budget

• Zurich
• London
• Dublin
• Copenhagen
• Vienna
• Paris
• Lisbon
• Brussels
• Aberdeen
• Athens

Also places in Ontario...

Small things 26 February

• Don't buy a bookmark for more than $5 because you can just use $5 (in Canada, $1 in the US).
• The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs is probably the highest ration of killing birds with one stone in earth's history.
• People are so bad at using their turn signals that even when we see them being used, we're still not sure of a driver's intentions.
• It would not be fun to communicate using a OUIJA board with a dyslexic ghost.
• If you think about it, Amazon is probably a shell company for a cat conglomerate. Ask yourself: who would benefit most from a service that brings lots of boxes?
• The next time someone starts with "Hey, the 90s called..." just interrupt them and respond, "Yeah, 'cause they couldn't text..."
• A group of toddlers is called a migraine.
• Remember when we had no idea who the uninformed and easily mislead people were?
• Americans will relate: A scarf that looks like a long CVS receipt.
• Q. Why haven't aliens visited our solar system? A. They read the reviews. Just one star.
• When one door closes, another one opens. Other than that, it's a pretty good car.
  
  
  
• Maybe the grass seems greener on the other side because they're taking good care of it.
• Was it necessary for them to spell necessary the opposite of how your brain wants to spell it? Also, when I first typed that sentence, I wrote 'What is necessary'...
• If you're eating a McRib inside a McDonalds inside a Walmart, does that make you the turducken of white trash?

You're right

 

Conspiracy 101

So, you know how the RCMP arrested a bunch of people at the Coutts border protest and confiscated a bunch of weapons, ammunition and body armour?

Well, I know someone at work who has already concluded that it was a setup, designed to disperse the remaining protesters. Nobody had any guns and we won't hear anything in a few days about it.

Oh, in other news, some of the people arrested are now known to be members of an extremist militia group, some of whom posted on their Facebook group that they were about to sacrifice themselves for the cause.

I expect to hear back from this theorist that the militia story was made up by the media.

George knew things

 

Things I learned lately 26 February

• As of 14 Feb 2022, Omicron makes up 98% of Covid infection cases in Canada (versus Delta). In the US, it's 100%.
• The Netherlands has reclaimed 2,700 square miles of land from the ocean, the equivalent of 1,306,800 football fields. China has reclaimed 4,600 square miles of land from the ocean, the equivalent of 2,226,400 football fields.
• Saratoga Springs, New York, is the birthplace of the potato chip. In 1853, railroad magnate Cornelius Vanderbilt dined at at Moon’s Lake House and sent back his fried potatoes because they weren't thin enough. Chef George Crum maliciously complied with Vanderbilt's demand, and fried up super-thin potato slices until they were extra crispy. But Vanderbilt loved them, and the potato chip was born. Crum opened his own restaurant, and became famous for his Saratoga Chips.
• Lay's became the first American national brand of potato chips in 1961.
• Old Dutch Products Co. was founded by Carl J. Marx in 1934, in St. Paul, Minnesota. Marx chose the name "Old Dutch" because Dutch was associated with cleanliness and quality. Old Dutch opened a plant in Winnipeg, Manitoba, in 1954 to manufacture chips for the Canadian market. The Canadian head office remains in Winnipeg. Old Dutch Foods acquired Humpty Dumpty Snack Foods in a C$26.7 million takeover bid in 2006. The Humpty Dumpty brand is generally sold in the New England states, Quebec, The Maritimes, and Newfoundland and Labrador.
• Frito-Lay began in the early 1930s as two separate companies, "The Frito Company" and "H.W. Lay & Company", which merged in 1961 to form "Frito-Lay, Inc". In 1965, Frito-Lay, Inc. merged with the Pepsi-Cola Company, resulting in the formation of PepsiCo. Since that time, Frito-Lay has operated as a wholly owned subsidiary of PepsiCo.

Wouldn't this pic be great on a wedding thank you card?

 

Small things 18 February

• The CDC says it's not omicron unless it comes from the Omicronne region of France, otherwise, it's just sparkling covid.
• You might think the 1970s were technologically backwards, but we dried our clothes using the vary best solar and wind technology money could buy. It was called a clothes line.
• Imagine you start digging like crazy only to figure out your metal detector is picking up your steel toed boots.
• Imagine how hard the pandemic lockdown was for people with secret families...
• Gordon Ramsay versus The Swedish Chef. Who would win?
• If a prisoner briefly dies and is revived can they argue that they've served their life sentence?
• A fun game to play is "Is my headache from dehydration, caffeine withdrawal, impending food coma, stress, lack of sleep, diabetic shock, brain tumor, or not wearing glasses?"
• Snoring is basically bragging about being asleep, so loudly, that it stops other people from sleeping.
• Dog thoughts: Dude, this homework looks really hard. Do you want me to eat it?
• Baby thoughts: Why would I want a train going into my mouth?
• Do you, Karen, take Dave the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better.... or worse? Better.... or worse?
• He showed off his Klingon bird of prey tattoo. Nobody could see it.
• The next time a server hands me my bill, I'd like to give him a reverse Uno card and see what happens.
• What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI...

Where the trees are in Canada

 

Aweille!

This Lebanese Canadian shares some of Quebec's wonderful culture, in this case, in how they speak using very unique terms and phrases.

Sure brings back memories. Salut to my friend Alain for sending this to me.

Oh, and if you want more, there's more.

I still sits

 

Things I learned lately 18 February

• Tupac Shakur was born in East Harlem. He went to the Baltimore School for the Arts in the tenth grade, where he studied acting, poetry, jazz, and ballet.
• Tesla will open all supercharger stations in the Netherlands to all EV vehicle brands.
• The watch made its migration from the pocket to the wrist during World War I, when soldiers were obligated to attach them to their arms for coordinated attacks, instead of fumbling in their pockets. Before then, the "bracelet watch" had mostly been regarded as a joke and silly-ass fad".
• German chocolate cake was invented by an English-American baker named Samuel German and has nothing to do with the country of Germany.
• It can be hard to visualize the difference between a million and a billion. Visualize this: A million seconds is over 11 days. A billion seconds is just under 32 years.
• The Heimlich maneuver wasn’t invented until 1974.
• Nowhere does it say that Humpty Dumpty was an egg.
• Wood is cellulose. Cellulose is a polysaccharide. Polysaccharides are complex sugars. We live in candy houses...
• The lighter was invented before the match.
• Since it’s discovery in 1930 Pluto has yet to orbit the sun and won’t until 2178.
• The prototype of the Rolls Royce Ghost was so quiet inside that it made test drivers sick. The engineers had to remove some of the noise isolating material, and create seats that vibrated at specific frequencies to introduce some noise into the interior.

Canadian population concentration

 

Small things 12 February

• Violent video games lead to real violence? So why are there not lots of city sim players running around designing cities?
• I hear there's a big update coming for the Trucking Simulator - Canada Edition video game.
• "It's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Why would you keep looking for something you've already found?
• Tauntauns. Cold on the outside, Luke warm on the inside.
• The next time a server asks you "How much cheese do you want?" Just answer, "As much as you think I deserve." and never break eye contact in the silence that follows.
• Is Thanos short for Jonathanos?
• I read somewhere that baked beans are making a comeback. Umm. I didn't realize they had gone out of style.
• Isn't it weird that 'take out' can mean food, dating and murder?
• What did barn owls do before humans made barns?
• I figure there are 5 kinds of spaghetti eaters. Fork. Fork + spinning. Fork + spoon + spinning. Fork + knife. Faceplant.
• Welcome to assumption club. I think we all know why we're here.
• Millennials. Walking around like they rent the place.

1970s playlist

 

Message to the flu trucks clan

Time for a rant.

We have the freedom to protest things that we don't agree with. Nobody is arguing that. But when you blockade a vital border crossing, clog up a city core, treat it like a carnival, disturb the residents, and dishonour memorials, then you're no longer protesting, you're being an selfish asshole.

We all got the message truckers. You've exercised your white privilege and now it's time to go back to work. You know, the productive thing you used to do with your trucks before you decided to inconvenience everybody with them? Why did I say white privilege? Look around. Where are all the non-white truckers? They're still working. Do you know why? Because they actually appreciate the freedom they have living in Canada. Because as much as you might never admit it, you have more freedom than a dozen other countries combined. You're proving it by doing what you're doing right now. You're just abusing your freedom.

But now we're tired of it. Your [finger quotes] protest is hurting our economy. It's scaring people. It's damaging an already fragile supply chain. It's preventing people from getting to their loved ones before they die of FUCKING COVID!

Stop blaming the politicians. They didn't build your mess. They're simply trying the best that they can to keep our country safe. You may not agree with the restrictions, but yet you still willingly wear your seatbelt. You still carry ID and show it to a law enforcement official when asked. You still pull over to let ambulances get by. You still wear a helmet on a motorbike. You follow the speed limit. You get a license to hunt and carry a firearm. But the mask and the vaccine proof is the hill you're willing to die on? Bravo. Here's a slow clap for you. Your ancestors would be proud. The soldiers who died on the battlefield to protect your [finger quotes] freedom would be proud.

So please do us all a favour. Get back to your life and back to work and let us do the same. 

So, it's a protest

 

Things I learned lately 12 February

• Birds Aren't Real is a satirical conspiracy theory which posits that birds are actually drones operated by the government to spy on citizens. In 2018, journalist Rachel Roberts described Birds Aren't Real as "a joke that thousands of people are in on".
  
  
  
• Einstein's support for pacifist, civil rights and left-wing causes in Europe had drawn suspicion from J. Edgar Hoover’s FBI, and after his arrival to America, the Bureau launched what would eventually become a 22-year surveillance campaign since the FBI believed Einstein was a Soviet spy.
• In 1994, Dave Grohl wrote and recorded an entire album on his own. Singing and playing almost every instrument and using the name Foo Fighters to hide his identity. After getting a record deal, Grohl needed members to play the songs live and so the Foo Fighters were formed. Grohl said the name he came up with was more of a joke and is the stupidest band name he ever heard.
• Alice Blaise saved a 4 year old boy from drowning at the beach in 1965. 9 years later the same boy saved a man from drowning at the same beach. The man was Alice's husband.
• In 1977, Ben Cohen was a struggling potter & Jerry Greenfield was getting rejected by medical schools. The pair decided to open a bagel shop, but the cost of bagel machines was too high. As a result, they enrolled in a $5 ice cream making course instead. A year later, they created Ben & Jerry's.
• Mice don't really like cheese. They'll eat it if that's all they can find, but they don't go for it like we've been led to believe.
• Velociraptors were the size of a turkey in real life.
• In 1978 Emilio Palma was the first person born on Antarctica, making them the only currently living person that was the first person born on a continent

Small things 4 February

• "There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge'." ~Isaac Asimov
• Yoko Ono is threatening to put her music on Spotify now.
• "There are people in every time and every land who want to stop history in its tracks. They fear the future, mistrust the present, and invoke the security of a comfortable past which, in fact, never existed." ~Robert F Kennedy
• Dear algebra: Find x yourself.
• Cafenesia: Forgetting your coffee on the roof of your vehicle and driving away.
• A&W really stands for 'Amburgers & Wootbeer
• Attention people younger than Baby Boomers: There is a pill caddy in your future.
• Technically, aren't we all full of ourselves?
• Premature button push: The act of passing up a crowded elevator, only to push the call button again too soon, which opens the door to reveal the same car of (now annoyed) riders.
• Where does one get a license to ill?

If only this was on ALL sheet sets

 

The room illusion

How observant do you think you are? This video presents you with a room containing many objects. Do you notice anything odd? Anything out of place?

It's one of the best illusions I've seen in a long while and just goes to show how easily our brains can be fooled.

1970s TV remote control

 

Things I learned lately 4 February

• It has been said that we can look forward to around 100 new models of fully electric vehicles hitting the market in the next 5 years.
• In 2022, the following fully electric vehicles hit the showrooms: Ford F-150 Lightning; Toyota BZ4X; Nissan Ariya; BMW IX XDrive 50; Hyundai Ioniq 5; KIA EV6; Volvo C40 Recharge; Cadillac Lyriq; Mercedes EQB; Audi Q4 E-Tron, etc.
• Tesla recently opened up 15 Superchargers in Norway to ALL electric vehicles, regardless of make and model. And so it begins.
• Gas stoves constantly leak methane into the air, even if they are switched off. Not enough to harm you or cause a fire, but cumulatively enough to harm the environment.
• Harvard has a library that protects the rarest pigment colours in the world, made from extinct insects, mummy wrappings, and rare metals among other things.
• The Corpus Museum in Holland lets you take a trip through the human body.
• Smell is very similar to taste, and if you're not sure about combining various spices, open the bottles and smell them all together.
• Yellowstone isn't overdue for an eruption. It's had three major explosions in its existence (2.08, 1.3, and 0.631 million years ago). If you average out those numbers, that means an eruption every 725,000 years, meaning we'd still have a good 100,000 to go. But that number is based on such little data that it's basically meaningless. A volcano doesn't operate like a fault line, and the accumulation of liquid magma and pressure necessary for an eruption does not generally happen on a schedule. Because of that, it can't be overdue.
• In 1996, a man in Devon England spent a year hooting at owls and recording their responses. Little did he know, one of his neighbours was pretending to be an owl and was doing all the hooting back.
• The Blue Nelson Lake in New Zealand has water so clear, the visibility is up to 260 feet (80m).

The official sports drink of the 1970s