Small things 26 February

• Don't buy a bookmark for more than $5 because you can just use $5 (in Canada, $1 in the US).
• The asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs is probably the highest ration of killing birds with one stone in earth's history.
• People are so bad at using their turn signals that even when we see them being used, we're still not sure of a driver's intentions.
• It would not be fun to communicate using a OUIJA board with a dyslexic ghost.
• If you think about it, Amazon is probably a shell company for a cat conglomerate. Ask yourself: who would benefit most from a service that brings lots of boxes?
• The next time someone starts with "Hey, the 90s called..." just interrupt them and respond, "Yeah, 'cause they couldn't text..."
• A group of toddlers is called a migraine.
• Remember when we had no idea who the uninformed and easily mislead people were?
• Americans will relate: A scarf that looks like a long CVS receipt.
• Q. Why haven't aliens visited our solar system? A. They read the reviews. Just one star.
• When one door closes, another one opens. Other than that, it's a pretty good car.
  
  
  
• Maybe the grass seems greener on the other side because they're taking good care of it.
• Was it necessary for them to spell necessary the opposite of how your brain wants to spell it? Also, when I first typed that sentence, I wrote 'What is necessary'...
• If you're eating a McRib inside a McDonalds inside a Walmart, does that make you the turducken of white trash?