Are we in for a doozy of a summer?

Lytton BC, a village in the Fraser Canyon located about 260 km northeast of Vancouver, saw record-breaking highs of 46.6C on Sunday, 47.9C on Monday and 49.6C on Tuesday. 

Before this week, the highest temperature ever recorded in all of Canada was 45C in Saskatchewan in 1937. This week's heat wave has blown that previous record away for 3 days straight. 

On Tuesday alone, seven locations in BC met or exceeded that old record 45C mark, including Lytton, Cache Creek (47.4C), Grand Forks (45C), Kamloops (47.3C), Kelowna (45.2C), Lillooet (46.7C) and Osoyoos (45C).

[Update: Lytton is on fire and being evacuated]

Canada's population distribution in colour

 

Our AB government said it was the best in the nation. Uh no.....

If we ever have to go through something like Covid again, I hope our province irons out the inoculation process, because it definitely was NOT without its problems.

In chronological order:

I found out that retail pharmacies were going to be inoculating the public, so once a reservation system was established online, I booked a reservation. This doesn't get me an appointment, just a place in line for when bookings become available. I waited many weeks and never got one call, text or email to offer me an appointment for a shot.

On the advice of a colleague who had heard about the mass inoculation site in downtown Calgary, I called 811 and asked for an appointment at 10:30am. I had a shot in my arm that very same day at 4:30pm.

I finally heard back from the pharmacy reservation system 2 weeks afterward.

Meanwhile, my wife wanted to book a shot, but because of her surgery, she was advised not to get it until after her surgery. She used the same pharmacy reservation system and after many attempts to book an appointment at a pharmacy near to where we live, she managed to get an appointment for 4 weeks or so from when she called. Three days before the appointment day, she was texted that her appointment had been cancelled. No explanation was given. My wife was still recovering from surgery, so I had to go to the pharmacy to ask why the appointment was cancelled. They said it had to do with the system. It was not related to vaccine availability. They promised to call my wife so she could rebook. They never called. When my wife finally called them, she tried to book an appointment 3 weeks out and they couldn't do it. They were only booking a few days at a time.

My wife went back into the pharmacy reservation system and managed to get an appointment booked for 20 Jun at a pharmacy that is not close to where we live. She tried to get a closer location, without success.

I decided it was time to book my 2nd dose and chose AstraZeneca (again) and was given an appointment for 25 Jun. Some new data on my chosen vaccine motivated me to switch to either Pfizer or Moderna. I called 811 again to make a switch. I was able to get a new appointment on the same day at the same time (but a different location) for an mRNA vaccine. No problem at all.

On 20 Jun we prepared to go get my wife her first vaccine at the retail pharmacy and followed the instructions sent to us via email, "to save time, please print out and complete this screening form and bring it with you to the store." When we arrived, we were told that we had to complete an online version of the form because they did things differently.

In summary, getting inoculated using the retail pharmacy system was so much more problematic than the regular AHS system that uses the mass sites.

Small things 25 June

• Adam and Eve should not be depicted in paintings with belly buttons. Just sayin'.
  
  
  
• What happens when you turn down the turn down service?
• I find myself restarting great songs in the car if the beginning is in any way interrupted by phone calls, construction noise, or any other audible distractions.
• Scotiabank Arena is opening this weekend as a mass vaccination site. After 20 years, Toronto will finally see a second round in that building. Just. Not. For. Hockey.
• If aliens started invading for real, half of America would be like, "No there not..." [sic]
• When Sweden plays Denmark in the Olympics, the abbreviations are SWE-DEN... and the remaining letters in each name are DEN-MARK.
• "Soldier on drugs fights Nazis with a frisbee." #explainfilmplotbadly
• "Nobody listens to the smart woman and then they all die except for the smart woman and her cat." #explainfilmplotbadly
• Be careful not to accidentally spray deodorant into your mouth guys. You may end up with a weird axe scent.
• If there's ever another pandemic, maybe consider giving the prizes and perks to the people who got the vaccine first?
• You know you're old AND a bit of an audiophile if you know what a Nakamichi Dragon is.

School's out for ever!

High school students at Western Canada High School put their school up for sale on kijiji as a graduation prank on the last day of school. 

Both the school board and the teachers took it in stride. 

The asking price was $20,000,000.

REM!

To any of my friends who used to live in Montreal, still do, or are just plain old train / transit nerds, this is for you.

Montreal is revamping some old commuter lines and building out a new, automated, 26 station REM train network that will run at almost the rate of the Metro subway system and finally connect the YUL airport to the city. I'm excited because the north terminus is in my hometown of Deux Montagnes. I'm witnessing the construction in real time courtesy of YouTube friends back home.

Can't wait to see it in action once it's completely finished in 2024.

Star Trek away team?

Sure, they're world leaders, but it looks like a scene from Star Trek where the away team just beamed down to the planet surface. 

Merkel's wearing a red shirt though, so this episode won't end well for her.

Things I learned lately 25 June

• The Fat man by Fats Domino, recorded in 1949 is considered by some to be the first rock n roll song, because it has a back beat through the entire song.
  
  
  
• Your foot is the exact length from the crook of your elbow to your wrist.
• Golf clubs didn't always have numbers, they used to have fun names like play club; brassie; spoon; baffy; mashie; niblick and jigger.
• A survey of 1,000 US adults showed that 39% would consider quitting if their employers weren't flexible about remote work. The generational difference is clear. Among millennials and Gen Z, that figure was 49%
• Poka-Yoke is a Japanese manufacturing design technique that ensures that components can only be assembled one, correct way. Tesla is incorporating that technique into their manufacturing process as well.
• 1 in 5 customers polled said they would skip the iPhone 13 because of superstition.
• There's a koi fish that lived 226 years in Japan (1751-1977).
• There is a phone booth known as "The Telephone of the Wind" on a hill overlooking the ocean in Otsuchi Town in Northeastern Japan. It is connected to nothing, but people come to 'call' family members lost during the 2011 earthquake and tsunami.
• The Kyoto Aquarium has a flowchart illustrating the complicated romantic relationships and breakups between their penguins.
• X-rays of children's mouths are bizarre. The second set of teeth to replace baby teeth are already grown and lodged in their skulls. So you'll see two rows of teeth and its freaky looking. They don't grow in when the old ones fall out, they are already loaded in the chamber waiting to get launched.
• Many mammals produce vitamin C in their liver. Not humans.

Petting Zoo Blues

Just because local live theatres have to be empty during the pandemic doesn't mean that Loose Moose is sitting idle. Nope.

They've been doing a lot behind the scenes and one of the projects they're putting out there is the adult-themed puppet show 'Petting Zoo Blues'. They're calling it an 'episodic-puppet-trag-omedy'.

"The Capp family are the proud owners of ‘Noah’s Park’, the city’s oldest petting zoo. Their bitter rivals, the Monty’s came later to the petting zoo game, and ‘Zora’s Extreme Petting Zoo’ became all the rage. Recently the youngest of each family have just met and secretly fallen in love, and now must find a way to escape a pandemic lockdown and their feuding families to be together.

Lies, deceit, resentment, revenge, murder, and mayhem.  If they seem to be familiar themes, that’s because history keeps repeating itself."

The first episode is free, but you have to pay to watch the other 11 episodes. The price? $12. No, not per episode, for the whole thing. You can also choose to pay $25 in case you'd like to support the theatre just a bit more.

And they're not llamas, they're alpacas. (inside joke)

I'd do something like this

 

Small things 18 June

• Do songbirds get mad at hummingbirds for not knowing the words to the songs?
• "He who is without oil shall throw the first rod." ~Compressions 8.7:1 (Mechanics humour)
• 1970s swim lessons: "Dad, I can't swim!"  "Not with that attitude...." [get thrown in pool]
  
  
  
• Old. When it's considered rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if you don't have enough for everyone.
• There's no such thing as time travel. Because if there was, someone would have warned us about Covid.
• Roomba. Uber for cats.
• Cruel humour: If my clothes were made in Bangladesh, does that mean they were pre-washed?
• Cruel humour: He's so slow it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
• "I guess it's free then." (when cashier has trouble scanning an item) #howdadareyou
• "We needed this rain." (every time it rains) #howdadareyou
• "Can you do mine next?" (when seeing a neighbour wash their car / mow their lawn) #howdadareyou
• "I was just resting my eyes." (after falling asleep on the couch) #howdadareyou
• "Guess they'll let anyone in here." (when seeing a friend in a public indoor space) #howdadareyou

Robots in charge marketing

 

How to funk in 2 minutes

It's not just this video that's great, the comments are a blast too.

Best comment:

"The influence Lafawnduh had on Kip is remarkable. No longer is his time spent chatting online with babes all day or training to be a cage fighter."

LOL, nice Napoleon Dynamite reference.

This does not end well

 

Things I learned lately 18 June

• Europe is building an $11 billion rail tunnel through the Alps between Italy and Switzerland over 55km. For reference, 55km is the equivalent of the distance between Calgary's west ring road all the way to the highway 40 Kananaskis turnoff.
• In 1985, The New York Times predicted 'the demise of the laptop'.
• You can cook a chicken if you slap it fast enough and long enough. YouTube has everything. Who thought of that to try though?
  
  
  
• Barns in the US are red because farmers made their own sealant using linseed oil and rust. The rust protects the wood from algae and fungal growth but also colors the mixture red.
• Veterinarians kill themselves at rates 2.5 to 3.5 times the general population, due in part to online trolling and threats from pet owners who blame them for the death of a pet, and easy access to lethal medicines.
• If you change your TV picture mode setting to 'movie' or 'cinema' mode, you get a warmer colour temperature that displays more accurate colour. 
• Taya Currie is the first female hockey player to be drafted by the Ontario Hockey League. She is a goaltender.
• The most popular coffee chain in Minnesota is not Starbucks or Dunkin'. It's Caribou.
• Canada has 9% of the world's forests, but forests only cover 38% of our land mass. Canada has only lost 0.5% of its forest mass since 1990.

Promoted

 

Not funny Apple

 

Inconvenient cat

 

Small things 11 June

• In a café run by cows, there would be a sign saying, "Thank you for not tipping."
• Nobody stops someone carrying a pizza. It will open many doors.
• Why do plants need coaxing to grow in your garden but are perfectly happy in that crack in the sidewalk or driveway?
• Dear bank. I have an idea. How about you share all those profits with the people who actually made them for you? I know - radical, right?
• It's going to be interesting when you finally get to see the face of someone you met during the pandemic.
• How about a smoke detector that stops making noise after you shout, "I'm cooking!"
• I bet what with all of us having to stay home during the pandemic, our homes must be immaculate.........
• Is it OK to bring deviled eggs to a church pot luck?

Living in a sim

 

Iceberger

Draw an iceberg and see how it would float.

"But we just ate..."

 

"They listened"

Michael Grunwald, a senior staff writer for POLITICO Magazine was visiting the Danish Parliament while on a trip and compared it to the US Congress. He turned to Twitter to describe the hearing he had the pleasure to be a part of.

It makes for great reading. I wish all governments could be like this.

"like hungry..."

 

Foods I consider to be quintessentially American

Jif peanut butter

Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix

Twinkies snack cakes

Wheaties breakfast cereal

Bush's baked beans

Mike & Ikes candy

Rice-a-roni

Jimmy Dean sausages

Newman's Own salad dressing

Dino's Brooklyn Big Dogs (hot dogs in a jar)

Taylor Pork Roll (NJ)

Things I learned lately 11 June

• Since 2000, the water level in Lake Mead, the largest reservoir in the US, the reservoir formed by Hoover Dam, has dropped about 140 feet. Lake Mead is just 37% full, headed for a first-ever official shortage and sinking toward its lowest levels since it was filled.
  
  
  
• Queen Victoria helped make chicken popular, partly due to her breeding bigger birds.
• 1% of people no longer have wisdom teeth.
• Short people tend to live longer and are funnier.
• The Samoyed is the most expensive dog breed.
• The top 10 pet names of 2021: (from 10 to 1) Cooper; Chloe; Stella; Daisy; Lily; Buddy; Max; Charlie; Luna; Bella.
• Only 8% of people can touch their nose with their tongue.
• The easiest way to make friends is to show up somewhere regularly. You'll eventually become a familiar face. That's half the battle. 
• Comparative property tax rates for a $500,000 home. Calgary $3761, Montreal $4261, Ottawa $5044, Halifax $5190, Winnipeg $6193.
• The French word for 'lime' translates to 'green lemon'.

Changes to Google Photos

No, Google Photos isn't going to start 'charging' you for photo uploads and backups starting June 1st.

What they mean to say is that photos uploaded to Google Photos will no longer be exempt from using any of your Google Drive storage capacity. Anything uploaded already is free and clear. Anything you upload from now on uses drive space. So if your Google Drive capacity is 15GB and you upload a lot of video clips, you're going to run out fairly quickly. Thankfully, Google will add tools making it clearer how long you can live with the space you do have at the rate you're uploading. Also, in my humble opinion, Google's storage rate plans are very competitive, with 100GB more available for $2.79 monthly (or $27.99 yearly), or up to 2TB for $13.99 monthly (or $139.99 yearly). If you store your photos using the space saver setting (slightly compressed), you'll save space as well.

I'm hoping that Google finds a way to make it even more affordable to put your stuff in the cloud in the future.

This cat has just about had enough of your bull

 

Small things 4 June

• Marriage is one of the few things where we consider someone an expert if they've only successfully done it once.
• She said, take me somewhere expensive, so I packed a lunch and took her to the lumberyard.
• With self-driving vehicles becoming more commonplace, it's a matter of time before there's a country song about a guy's truck that leaves him.
• When social distancing is over, let's not tell some people....

Some people:

"Do you have an email address?"

"Uh. No, I have a gmail address though."

Zoom and Team meetings are just modern seances.

"There's someone who wants to join us."

"Elizabeth, are you there?"

"We can't hear you."

"Can you hear us?"

"Is it someone else? Can you please state your name?"

When you order a pizza as "Steven but with a ph".

 

Things I learned lately 4 June

• Anatomically, dogs have 2 arms and 2 legs - not 4 legs. The front arms have wrist joints and are connected to the skeleton by muscle and the back legs have hip joints and knee caps.
• Haiti's first head of state called Polish people "the White Negroes of Europe", which was then regarded a great honour, as it meant brotherhood between Poles and Haitians. This is because Polish soldiers, who had originally been fighting with the French, participated in the Haitian revolution of 1804 alongside the Haitians, contributing to the establishment of the world's first free black republic and the first independent Caribbean state.
• Jack Black's parents were satellite engineers.
• Peppers are spicy as a defence against predators who would eat them.
• Here are all the varieties of Cheerios that have been made; Regular Cheerios; toasted coconut; blueberry; maple; oat crunch; peach; honey nut; multigrain; apple cinnamon; chocolate; fruity; frosted; banana nut; oat crunch almond; oat crunch oats n honey; chocolate peanut butter; chocolate strawberry; cinnamon; medley crunch; very berry; pumpkin spice.
• 39% of people have an extra bone in their knee. 100 years ago only 11% of people had this bone.
• Your body must warm fluids before absorbing them, so drinking ice cold water to hydrate is only burning more energy, and you're not hydrating as quickly.