One time secret

One Time Secret is a site where you post some sensitive text (like a password you're trying to share with someone else) and it creates a link you can send to the other person that they must use within 48 hours. Once they open the link and view the text, the link evaporates and is no longer usable.

This keeps the sensitive info out of log files, archived email messages and so forth.

Say what?

I've always found it interesting that although in the majority of our country people (can) speak English, we don't always understand exactly what other people say. Especially if they come from a different part of the country, like Newfoundland. Heck, I know some people from Newfoundland that can barely understand people who come from a different part of Newfoundland!

Here's a funny video from Canada's best known 'pewfie' (Pakistani-Newfie), Shaun Majumder, of what it's like to ask a Newfoundlander for directions versus someone from Toronto.

On the move

This is one of the most amazing time lapse videos I have seen in a while.

The place is Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon).

Luke...... 'I' am your father...

$50 bills are legal tender

There are times when Darlene asks me to hand her some cash and I give her a $50 bill. She will hand it back to me, saying that the store she plans to go into doesn't take $50 bills. This is where I lose it. My mind that is.....

Why the heck not? Is it because the store is afraid the $50 bill might be counterfeit? No? Then what is the damned problem? Oh. It's because they don't have enough change. Too bloody bad!

Message to all stores: As long as the $50 bill is considered legal tender, and as long as cash withdrawals from the bank machine keep giving me $50 bills, then you are obliged to accept them as legal tender. If you don't have enough change to accommodate this, then get some more! You're not hosting a garage sale. You're running a retail store for crying out loud!

"Oh Karl, you are still using cash?" Yeah, I saw that question coming a mile away. I'm ready for you too. Until financial institutions get their act together, making it damned near impossible for people to hijack or steal my cards and accounts, I will reserve my right to use cash. Especially in situations where I do not know or trust the store.

[Steps off of soapbox]

A very special Rube Goldberg machine

It turns the page of the newspaper. Thanks to Adam for sharing.

Baby talk

Author and comedian Simon Rich wrote this essay imagining the in-flight conversation between two noisy infants seated behind him.

-Wow, that was some nap.
-Tell me about it. It's almost like I was drugged or something. Hey ... what is this place?
-I'll look out the window. ... Oh my God. I think we have a situation.
-What is it? Are we at the doctor's office?
-No. We're in the sky.
-What?
-We're just, like, flying through the sky.
-Do Mom and Dad know?
-Clearly not. They're just reading like everything's normal. (Looking around) Everybody's reading.
-How do we warn them?
-With screams.
-Which kind? Soft and whiny or piercing and crazy?
-Let's go with piercing and crazy.
...
-It's not working. They just keep handing me bottles. As if I can eat at a time like this.
-Can you scream any louder?
-No — this is the loudest I can scream.
-Is there any other way to signal to them?
- (Sigh) I guess we could try pooping in our pants. It's not exactly dignified, but we're running out of options here.
-All right. On three?
-Sure. One, two, three.
...
-Well that didn't work.
-Yeah, they're just changing us.
-I can't believe this. We're hurtling through the sky in a metal tube, and yet we're the only ones screaming and pooping.
-I guess no one's looked out the window yet.
-Look at that lady down the aisle. She's so relaxed she's about to fall asleep.
-We need to wake her up.
-We need to wake everyone up.
-How much juice do you have left?
-I don't know. My voice is getting pretty hoarse. I'm pretty exhausted from all the screaming.
-Can you do the pooping thing again?
-I'm not a machine. (Sigh) Sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I'm just stressed out.
-I don't blame you. We're about to die and no one seems to notice.
-Hey wait a minute ... look at that guy sitting in front of us, with the notepad.
-He's staring right at us.
-He must have heard us!
-Well, good. At least we got someone's attention.

Lost but don't care

I'm not posting a link to this video just because two of my friends linked to it on Facebook. It's a really clever composition and performance. 5 people singing and playing one guitar.

Brilliant. Unofficially, this is also my song of the day selection.

Angry birds - the action flick

Imagine if Guy Ritchie made an action flick based on Angry Birds....

It's not a chick flick...... [come on, you knew I had to]

Message to Shaw and other television content providers

If you want to make your customers happy (and why wouldn't you want to do that?), I offer some things you should look into post haste.

If a customer has a PVR provided by you, they should be able to modify their programming online. In other words, I should not have to be at home, in front of my PVR to set up or change a recording. There should be an app for that....

Now that people are switching to HD televisions in droves, channels should not be presented / selected in a two-dimensional manner as they are now. In other words, if the tuner box is capable of detecting that I own an HD TV (I don't think this a hard thing to accomplish), HD channels should be listed first and foremost and their non-HD counterparts should be an option you should have to manually select. This also means I shouldn't have to browse the hundreds of channels available to find the channels I watch most. If I never watch the Basket Weaving channel, even though I paid for it because my provider makes me get it as part of a bundle, I shouldn't have to keep looking at it in the listings.

Let's take that to the next level. With the advent of smart phones that can be tasked by my spoken commands, how about smart cable / satellite boxes? I would like to be able to say to my box "Is Myth Busters on in the next 7 days?" It should instantly list all the times that program airs on all channels in chronological order. Right now it takes many minutes of remote 'texting' to get that simple query answered. The same thing goes with PVR programming. "Record Channel 209 today at 8pm for 2 hours" and then a confirmatory "Yes" is all I should have to say to get that task done. Or "Record every new episode of Doctor Who on channel 226."

Speaking of smart, my cable box should also be able to remind me when content I normally watch is being passed by. Whether it's via a message I get when I turn my TV on, or a text message to my phone, I should be getting notifications like "Karl, there is a new episode of Weeds airing tonight at 9pm on Showcase that is not set for recording on the PVR. Would you like me to record that for you?" Like.... yah!

If a channel is available in an HD version, it better be available to me by default. Case in point, I pay extra to watch RDS from Quebec, but I can't get it in HD even though it is an available channel on other competing providers' line-ups.

No doubt this next request will have the TV and movie industry in fits of hysteria, but I'd like to be able to connect my hard drive, or iPhone or what-have-you to my PVR and get a copy of something I recorded so I can watch it on something other than my connected television. I really don't think that's asking too much.

Well, that should keep you people busy for a few months.......

Good graffiti

There's bad graffiti, then there's this.

The gift that says more than "I'm too lazy to bother"

There was a time when gift wrap concealed a surprise present - nothing more. Now it is possible to take the guesswork out of gift selection and resort to giving a gift card to a particular merchant. The philosophy is this: Let them buy what they want. In theory, it's a great idea, albeit it takes a lot of the responsibility of carefully choosing a gift out of the gift giver's hands. Where's the fun in that?

But I often wonder what the recipient thinks about getting a gift card for a particular store. Is it possible to insult, offend, insinuate or subtly suggest something by the selection of a particular store card? I believe it is and offer these tongue-in-cheek 'read-between-the-lines' sentiments behind various gift card choices:

Rona / Home Hardware / Home Depot / Lowe's - We've been to your house and you obviously need some help financing that renovation project you've been working on.
Chapters / Indigo - We find it easy to visualize you spending most of your free time reading books, so....
Best Buy / Future Shop - Just because your wife says you can't have that new 50" television doesn't mean you can't buy it with other peoples' money.
Boston Pizza - Because a McDonald's gift card would have been really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Wal*Mart - China clearly needs more of your money.
Apple Store - Now you have a reason to go into one of their stores besides just trying to look all hipster.
iTunes - Seriously, who 'buys' music anymore, especially DRM-laden AM quality rubbish 128bps mp3s? Use these for coasters when you host a party.
Roots - Give these to newly landed immigrants who need a little Canuck-ing up with beaver tuques and red and white woolly maple leaf scarves.
Le Chateau - For all the 'The Situation' and 'JWoww' people in your life.
HBC / Zellers / Home Outfitters - Grandma, I understand that you might be in the market for 2 year old stale chocolate. They keep that stuff right by the tills....
Sears - You may as well experience what it's like to shop in a store that probably won't be around in 5 years.
Winners - Why pay $150 for a cost-$10-to-make shirt when you could have it for $55?
Canadian Tire - There are not too many gift cards you could use simultaneously to buy an oil change, a coffee machine and a crescent wrench in the same store.
The Keg Steakhouse / Cactus Club / Joey's / Earl's - Now you can justify eating for two for $60.
Starbucks - Haven't you always wanted to know what it would be like to be pre-diabetic and insanely hyperactive at the same time? Ooooh! Free wi-fi!
Esso / Shell / Petro Canada - Give this to the owner of a Ford F-450 King Ranch pickup. Mak sure it's a $25 card too. It'll 2/3 fill a Honda Civic Hybrid's tank, but you'll need 6 of these to fill up an F-450.
Golf Town - I'd like to buy you a new set of balls, because yours look pretty worn out and pathetic.
Sephora - Shampoo that smells like cinnamon buns. You know you want it.
Fairmount Hotels & Resorts - Here's your chance to see if a $600 room is any better than a Holiday Inn Express room.
La Vie en Rose - A cheap $30 thong panty just won't do. You need a high class $100 thong panty.
Victoria's Secret - Guys can just walk in, pick out a salesperson and say "I need something that would fit you if you were 20 pounds heavier and wore a permanent scowl. Can you model this for me?"
Williams Sonoma / Pottery Barn - When your budget just won't justify $50 cake mix or a $500 Galileo table lamp.
Nine West - Two words - high maintenance.
IKEA - I hear you're going to be single soon. IKEA can help furnish a new place on a budget.
Toys R Us - The only thing you can't buy here for the kids are scholarships.
Holt Renfrew - When you start getting that look of "You don't belong in here ma'am", just flash this card and you'll be left alone for 5 minutes.
Safeway - The best gift I could conjure up in my mind was help with the groceries.
Jysk - You're so cheap, you think IKEA is a luxury store.
Costco - Ever had a Costco poutine? No? Too busy buying the 125 pack pallet of Prego?
Lotto 649 - If you win, I expect a substantial cut of the earnings.
Pennington's / Addition Elle - Actually, your ass does look big in those jeans....
American Apparel - I often visualize you dressed in skimpy outfits and posed like a schoolhouse tramp.
Payless Shoesource - Because Jimmy Choo and Manolo Blahnik are so over-rated. Nuthin' but Hush Puppies for the one I love.
Old Navy - You wouldn't pay good money to buy clothing that will start to fall apart the moment you walk out of the store. Now you don't have to.
Joe Fresh - You have no fashion sense whatsoever.
Gap - You are gay or have gay friends.
Mark's Work Warehouse - Safety steel re-enforced bras and boots are something you obviously need.
Coach - $200 should be enough to buy a purse, right? It's not?
Purdy's Chocolate - What you need more than anything else right now is chocolate.
Tim Hortons - I'm willing to subsidize your addiction to horrible coffee and sugary starches.
Dairy Queen - When you're ready to break your ri-DQ-lous new year's resolution, I figure a peanut buster parfait or a blizzard should do it nicely.
M&M - Yes, I totally realize that you're going to use this to buy frozen appetizers to bring to my next pot luck....
Lee Valley - You need a hobby.
Bombay Co. - You did say that you like cherry wood..............

Look out!

I really like this picture.

Sanctimonious

[Disclaimer: There are times when I start on a topic of conversation that offends some people. What we have here would definitely be one of those topics. I almost decided not to post this bit, but then I figured that I would not be true to who I am and what I believe in if I held back. And isn't that the beauty of living in a free world? My reality contains the opinions of all people and they are all legitimate input. So if you are offended by the topic of gay marriage........... I firmly DO NOT apologize one bit. Just don't read this post...]

I smile when I read about straight people who insist that allowing gay and lesbian people to marry each other would betray the sanctity of the institution of marriage. John Medeiros wrote an open letter (tongue firmly placed in cheek) to a married US Senator who betrayed that sanctity somewhat, by having an illicit affair with a male staff member.

Dear Ms. Koch,

On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage.  We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an "illicit affair" with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.

We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry.  And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.

It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of "adultery."

Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that "gay marriage" is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.

And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone's family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.

From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.

Thank you.
John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN

Lego brickworks

Imagine if all repair crews had lego....

Found at Goodwill part deux

She also found this.

Found at Goodwill

Darlene found this at a local Goodwill store.

Tetes a Claques for Anglos

For many years now, Quebecers and others who understand French (at least - Quebecois French) have been enjoying these uproarious little videos under the name Tetes a Claques.

Now they've remade some of the most popular skits in English so that those who can't understand Le Francais can enjoy them too.

Like this one about Hallowe'en.

Unfriend me? Was it something I said?

Getting unfriended (on Facebook) is definitely better than having to unfriend someone else.

They do the dirty work for you!

And it's guilt-free!

Fruity

Nice parody of the Apple logo.

This is kind of what Occupy was protesting

The average salary of the top CEOs do laps around the typical worker's salary. I took a screen shot of this moments ago, showing a typical CEO's earnings by 8:40pm 4 January 2012, already making DOUBLE what an average worker makes in one whole year.

"For me, this was kind of spooky-amazing...."

Over an hour long interview between Stephen Colbert and Neil deGrasse Tyson. After a little comedic banter, they talk about everything from Pluto to quantum mechanics, to multiverses and the Higgs-Boson. All with the passion and down-to-earthiness that is Neil. A must-see.

When opportunity knocks, just say 'yes'

Here's a great true story from a guy who hacks banks for a living (electronically), on what happened when his team decides to try robbing a bank (legally) for real - in person.

When a LOLcat meets a triangle

LOLcats meet geometry.

Why do I find this so funny?

Hey winter! [making faces]

This is shaping up more and more to be reminiscent of my first winter in Calgary (1994/95).

Chinook-a-palooza!

Tell it like it is Roger

Roger Ebert explains why movie revenue is dropping. "Ticket prices are too high."

Secret agent Calvin and Hobbes

What Calvin and Hobbes might have looked like if they grew up and became secret agents.

Great artwork.

Unveiling a new level of flying

The last time I bought a new computer, I did it in part because I wanted to experience better performance from my flight simulator software. That software is Microsoft Flight Simulator X. After I bought my latest computer system, which I made sure had a fairly decent graphics card, I installed all my necessary software and eventually got around to the flight simulator. Who am I kidding - it was practically one of the first 5 programs I threw on.

Now, I expected that because Microsoft knows what they are doing (yeah, go ahead and laugh), the game would have detected my superior hardware and configured itself accordingly. It did not. I tweaked the settings higher (but not too much - I didn't want to overwhelm the machine) and was sort of satisfied at the performance. Little did I know that I was being fooled. Completely.

Fast forward to this week. I did a graphic card driver update. The end result was that MS Flight Sim X took it upon itself to downgrade my settings. A lot of them. Like... what? Now I was getting performance similar (or at least reminiscent) of what things were like with my old computer. Suckville. So I did a little digging online.

It turns out that in fact, Microsoft has no clue how to configure itself on a particular machine. Especially if that machine is not equipped with an nVidia graphics card. It seems that ATI is a freaking enigma to the boys in Redmond, so they don't bother to auto-tweak the settings to anything even close to the level that the computer can perform at. Read a few articles, changed a few key settings and cranked everything up to the max, save for the traffic settings.

Holy anti-aliasing! I have been playing under a rock. Now it's like watching me fly an aircraft in an HD movie. I have literally wasted at least a whole year flying stuff at crappy quality. Thanks Microsoft......

Steve Miller Venn

How does Steve Miller stack up against the likes of Snoop Dogg, Russel Brand and the Marquis de Sade?

Only this Venn diagram can show us.