Let's rant

Message to Amazon dot ca:

Start selling DRM-free mp3s on your web site. I've got money right here. I will spend it. Just wake up and sell me some digital music already.

Message to anyone who's about to suggest iTunes to me:

Don't even bother..... Stop.

Amazon dot ca just bragged to the country that they sell electronics now. Please..... I've seen better selection of electronics at my local pawn shop. Here's something you could try for fun - open Amazon dot ca next to Amazon dot com and compare what they sell. The dot ca is to the dot com what 7-11 is to Harrod's. And that's an insult to 7-11.........

Effect of blocking web sites at work

Inspired by some of the fun graphs I've been seeing online recently, I decided to make my own.

This one I know will appeal to a few friends of mine who've been having web site blocking issues at work.

Great lighting from the sun

You know those solar powered accent lights you see along some home walkways?

Here's a more recent, effective twist on the idea - solar LED paving bricks. No idea where this is, but sources speculate they are SimBio brand.

No makeup

It's amazing how different some women look without makeup on.

For example, can you tell who this is?

Can I haz ROFLMAO? How about for $12?

If you live in Calgary and you're starving for something different to entertain yourself with, you should consider checking out the Moose. I'm talking of course about Loose Moose Theatre Company, at the Crossroads Market.

Their standard schedule includes a show every Friday and Saturday night at 8pm. Friday is either Micetro Improv, where improvisers compete against each other while performing in scenes partnered up with randomly selected players; or Theatre Sports, where teams of improvisers compete against each other, often in a tournament lasting many weeks - which is what's on tap at the moment. Saturday night is Gorilla Theatre, where the established members of the company compete against each other by directing scenes involving the other performers. Last night Darlene and I went to see the Theatre Sports tournament, where 'My Mom' competed against 'The Que Team'. It was outstanding. The off-stage antics of The Que Team alone, who spoke a Spanish-like gibberish with each other and everyone else, were entertaining enough.

Another venue that used to happen one Friday a month, but lately has been on a run of successive Fridays, is Friday Night Late, where Rob Mitchelson and AJ Demers put on a live talk / variety show at 10:30pm with live music and special guest appearances.

There's so much more going on too. At the moment, there's a kid's show - The 3 Pigs - Saturday and Sunday at 1pm. Coming soon will be the holiday favourite, A Christmoose Carol.

Photo courtesy Burhan.

Happy Everything

For people who have had enough of greeting cards for every holiday under the sun..... the perfect greeting card.

53 and counting

Guess what it's time to play again boys and girls?

That's right.... it's another edition of Where Is It?

Click the picture for a bigger view.

Guess the city.........

White Noise blog getting more popular...

For the first time ever, this blog got over 200 hits in one day. That's freaking awesome! I wondered if it was an anomaly, but over the past few weeks, my numbers are about double what they were a year or two ago.

Many thanks to anyone new who has dropped by. If my regular readers are spreading the word - thank you too - and don't stop now. I'm aiming for 500!

Bumpy ride

I've never done any mountain biking, so I've never seen what it's like to ride a bike down a trail that drops 555m in altitude over an almost 3km track in just over 5 minutes.

The track starts out OK but gets nasty pretty quick.

Fist bump with the next generation

This picture says so much to me......

This man is beyond cool.

Grab your pitchfork and farmer outfit....

A few days ago I mentioned the fate of the Calgary Farmer's Market on the former military base.

It seems that the supporters won't go quietly into that good night, as a rally is planned for this Saturday at 10am. Supporters will walk from Garrison Woods (at Garrison Boulevard and Flanders Avenue S.W.) to the Farmer's Market site to try and convince the CLC that their decision was a bad one.

The Fakery

Some folks I know grouped together at their work to raise money for the United Way. Their idea - to gather homemade baked goods and sell them, donating the funds raised to the charity.

Since they were going to set up their office area like a bakery, they brainstormed to figure out a suitable name for their enterprise. One person in the group suggested The Fakery. Someone else instinctively said, "There's no 'F' in bakery......"

There's no 'F' in bakery. The name was instantly settled.

A stirling revival?

Dean Kamen, is the inventor of the iBot mobility device, a portable dialysis machine and other medical devices, the Luke arm and of course his most known invention, the Segway.

But his latest project could revolutionize the car - if it comes to fruition. It's an electric car that is a hybrid of sorts, in that it gets recharged as it runs by a stirling engine. Dean claims:

"A Stirling-electric hybrid can travel farther and more efficiently than conventional electric cars; it generates enough power to run energy-hungry devices such as heaters and defrosters that are essential for drivers who..... must cope with a cold climate; and even using petrol, the engine runs far cleaner than petrol-electric hybrids such as Toyota's Prius."

Gobama!

I watched the results of yesterday's American election pour in with a big smile on my face. History was made on November 4th, 2008. I am thrilled that Barack Obama won the election. The world is hopeful that things are going to be different for Americans now. We know it won't be an overnight miracle, but the first step toward change has been made. Obama's speech was inspiring.

Well done my friends to the South.

There was some bad news though - several States voted in amendments banning gay marriage. In my experience, those opposed to gay marriage are traditionalist or fundamentalist Christians. And yet America prides itself on separation of church and state. I guess that only works when it's convenient. So sad that some people who love each other cannot enjoy the same institution as everyone else.

More bad news - comedy writers across America suddenly have a lot of empty space on their material calendars. (No Palin)

This is deep

The pictures of the 1026m (3100ft) chasm in China are spectacular.

To the best of my knowledge, this is a natural shaft.

This is really mature...

On Halloween night, a Detroit area woman in the only gave candy to kids who supported her choice for President (and it's not Obama). Shirley you must be joking. No? Incredible. She called it 'campaigning'...... as if 4 year old kids who don't get their candy at her house are going to tell their parents to vote for John McCain.

Luckily for Shirley, the fact that she's not voting for the next President won't affect her eligibility for any tax cuts Obama has planned.

Smoke and mirrors cell plan improvements

Canada may be witnessing the beginning of the end of cell phone system access fees. Fido just relaunched its brand with a new logo and pricing plan, which eliminates the $6.95 system access fee on each monthly bill. Granted, based on what I've seen of their new prices, all they've really done is absorbed the charge into the whole cost of a plan, but Fido at least seem to be targeting casual cell phone users with their offerings.

Prior to the relaunch, I was paying $20 plus the $6.95 fee for 200 anytime minutes, billed by the second. Lately, this is actually more minutes than I need. Under the new system, I could have 50 minutes with unlimited evenings and weekends for $20 - or 100 minutes for $25 and no access fee. Come to think of it - it's not really a better deal - is it?

Iced green tea..... I like it

I have a new favourite beverage: Tetley Iced Green Tea + Pomegranate. What drew me to it in the store is the fact that I like iced tea and I like green tea. So I took a closer look and was surprised (in a good way) to find out that it has far fewer calories than even bottled (no sugar added) cranberry juice (which has 140cal / 250ml [8.5oz]) – this new drink has only 70cal / 355ml [12oz] and it doesn't have any artificial sweeteners (and uses cane sugar - not fructose)!

I really like the taste. It's light and refreshing.

eHarmony tips for guys (from girls)

Darlene has made significant contributions to this blog before (her ‘how to pack for a cruise’ article gets a lot of hits) and the latest one she offered has to do with e-dating sites and how guys tend to create profiles that are an absolute no-no. But I’ll let her explain:

We ladies were helping a friend set up her profile on eharmony. Then we went over her picks as they came in. There were many times when we said “No way – delete! - delete!” Other times we said “Awww - write him that you are interested!”

What guys should and shouldn’t put in their profiles on a dating website:

It is recommended that you DON’T:

• Don't list your ‘hates’ – you are deleted in seconds that way –you don’t come across very well trashing your ex’s and listing the kinds of chicks you DON’T want. We’ve seen some profiles compound this by ranting on in successive fields that have nothing to do with likes/dislikes. Sounding bitter is not the way to go!
• Don't submit a ‘bad’ picture of yourself or one that was taken five years ago – we know it’s old, you don’t look like that anymore.
• Don't have the dog(s) in your lap and clutching the kids.
• Don't have a picture posted with you surrounded by all your friends – we don’t know which one is you and especially if your friends are more good looking than you are – the comparison can be brutal – have a picture just of you alone.
• Don't do a comb over or try to gel what little hair you have into spikes.
• Don't look sloppy. You don’t need to wear a suit and tie – just don’t look grubby. If you can’t make an effort to clean up – we won’t bother with you.
• Don't be a player. If you are on e-harmony – we hope you are not a player. You should be there to meet someone who you would like to have a long term relationship with. If not, head to the intimate section of lavalife if that is what you are really looking for.
• Don't ignore any parts of the survey questions because you don’t know what to say. Take your time and complete it thoroughly.

It is recommended that you DO:

• Do take your time selecting the greatest picture of yourself that you can find or take – and get an updated one - get a girl friend or guy friend to help you with that – don’t ‘pose’ – be natural – smile. Some of the pictures we have seen online are terrible and even though we know that they just happen to be unflattering - we tend to hit the delete button instantly on a terrible picture – chemistry is everything - it doesn’t mean you have to be great looking – just natural. A full body shot would be appreciated as well as a close up.
• Do have a sense of humour!
• Do be unique. Try to stand out – but don’t make stuff up.
• Do fill out all the questions. If you’re stone walled - get some friends or a girl friend to help you fill it out – you have about 10 seconds to come across as exciting and fun to get to know - so use it wisely.
• Do provide as much information about yourself as possible. If we see that you took a lot of time fine tuning a profile – it shows that you will take a long time fine tuning the relationship.
• Do be realistic – if you insist your date be physically fit or buff and you are not – that’s an immediate conflict of interest. There are many beautiful women out there that are overweight.
• Do be honest about your hobbies and what you like to do for entertainment. This ‘I like to take long walks along the river’ when you don’t – that is just misrepresenting yourself. If you like to just stay in all the time, spend hours on your computer or like to watch movies – say so! Sometimes we do too.
• Do think carefully before you write – every line you put down will be scrutinized thoroughly by six of her best girlfriends so you have to win them all over!
• Do have some self confidence in yourself – the profiles we loved the most were those guys that took the time to say a lot, they had a great sense of humour, they had someone who was an inspiration to them, they were humble and even if they weren’t good looking – we loved them anyway!
• Do post a picture! No matter why you don’t want to post a picture – we deleted EVERY profile that didn’t have pictures. You are on e-harmony to find a lady to have a relationship with. Why would you conceal what you look like?
• When you have to list what you are passionate about – please don’t leave it blank or declare that there is nothing. Even if it is something that you may feel we would think is mundane – that line is one of the most important ones of all!

Nobody is safe from Les Justiciers Masqués

Sarah Palin has been the target of plenty of comedy acts, the least of which is the brilliant mocking accomplished by SNL member Tina fey. But people outside of the US have been having fun with the VP candidate - namely, Les Justiciers Masqués (The Masked Avengers) from Montreal. This duo are notorious for prank-calling heads of state and celebrities who take themselves a little too seriously. They show her little mercy, pretending to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

Sex is funny

Saturday night Darlene and I watched a movie that came out on DVD recently. This flick made a few waves at this year's Calgary International Film Festival (and I'm sure other festivals as well). It's a little independent Canadian piece called Young People F---ing. This is a smart comedy that gives a glimpse of 5 couples over the course of one of their sexual encounters. They are 'The Couple', 'The Friends', 'The Roommates', 'The Exes', and 'The First Date'. As the couples try to get it on for various reasons, they run into problems as they proceed through the phases of the encounter, namely 'prelude', 'foreplay', 'sex', 'interlude', 'orgasm' and 'afterglow'. This is an adult film, but only technically.

And it's quite funny.

Because they haven't quite made enough money yet

Up until about 1997 or so, Calgary had a military base. In 1997-98, the Army units making their home here moved to Edmonton and the Base itself was turned over to the Canada Lands Company (CLC).

My first experience with CLC was due to the fact that I was living in Private Married Quarters (PMQs) at the time - rent was cheap for military members. As soon as CLC took over the Base, they sent letters to everyone that our rules of occupancy were about to change. In 1997, I was paying about $400 a month to rent a tiny duplex. Yes, that was a great price, but the house was built in 194x, had very little insulation and the wiring was literally crumbling apart. You could use our bedroom closet as a fridge in winter-time. Our gas heating bills were staggering - the furnace barely turned off. Under the CLC's new rules, I would have to pay $800 a month, get rid of my pets, shed, fence (if there was one) and be on notice to vacate with 3 month's notice. Only after I submitted my official notice that I was leaving did they respond that I could keep my pets, shed and fence if that was the problem.

Let's face it, CLC is a crown corporation with a public facade and it has one mission - make as much money as possible from the acquisition of former Crown land. They intended to turn the Base into new, trendy neighbourhoods in phases, starting with the area we had been living in. Now, to their credit, Garrison Woods is a beautiful development. But it did not go cheaply my friends. Oh no. In some cases, old PMQs were moved (closer together of course), gutted on the inside leaving only the original framing and wood flooring, and refurbished. There were also many new homes built in a colonial style with porches along with brownstone style town homes surrounding a military monument. The families that used to live here would barely recognize the place.

Now the CLC is getting ready to develop the last phase of their development plan where the old base housed some of its units and barracks, an area currently being used for assorted businesses. It will be getting a face lift that will include a European style commercial district and new homes where there were none before.

One of the old businesses that is getting the heave-ho is the Calgary Farmer's Market. The market took over the old hangar in the base formerly occupied by the Field Ambulance unit. It hosted many little family run vendor stalls selling everything from fresh fruits and vegetables, to organic meats, bakery selections and crafts. A letter writing campaign and Facebook group trying to save the market didn't succeed and it must move by 2010. The market hopes to find a new home by then.

CLC's official position on the eviction: "Having a large-scale public market that requires significant infrastructure to support it does not meet CLC's criteria of a complete and sustainable community." I understand that the CLC is a business, but understand that these lands were already owned by the federal government, so everything they've sold is pure profit after development costs.

Heartless bastards.

There are spoilers in this post......

I have always been curious about the love affair some people..... OK, young guys..... have with the biggest waste of money accessory you can buy for a car - the spoiler.

I'm not talking about the little cosmetic ones - sometimes they add a little fun to the look of the vehicle (and no..... I don't have one on my TSX). I'm talking about the protuberant, carbon fibre flight control that probably costs more than the car's stereo system and is as aesthetically pleasing as an anvil bolted to the hood. Spoilers do work...... oh yeah.... when you're travelling at 130mph! But for your typical daily commute, it's as useless as putting wings on a dog. I especially laugh when I see one of these monster spoilers on a little Dodge Neon or any other car that could barely break the speed limit. There's just... no.... point.

I know it's a question of personal preference, but I have to tell ya, I think they look stupid. Sorry guys.

Honourable mention goes to the modified exhaust. Funny. Ineffective. Annoying.

Evian water

Evian spelled backwards is naive.

Coincidence?

RPM 29

This band featured a cat, a space man, a star child and a demon.

Who were they?

Habs are on fire

My hockey team (Les Canadiens de Montreal) is in its 100th season this year. Montreal will be hosting the All Star game this year. Needless to say, hopes are high that they might win the Stanley Cup this year as well.

Last night, they played the New York Islanders in their home in Uniondale. I couldn't watch the game live, since I was ushering at Loose Moose last night. When I left the house, I already knew the Habs were down 1-3 and little did I know that by the end of the 2nd period, they would be down 1-4. With only 13 minutes left in the game and two blown power play opportunities to
start the 3rd period, you'd think it was over for Les Habitants. And that's where you'd be wrong.

In a span of 7 and a half minutes, Montreal scored 4 goals and beat the Islanders 5-4.

GO HABS!

Best dog Halloween costume ever!

You know..... it's a cuddly little Ewok from Star Wars...

Bad monkey!

Watch this gibbon taunt some tigers for fun.

I'm thinking the tigers couldn't have been very hungry at this particular time.

"..... unless I am dating you"

Check out this witty comic that explains how to ward off the most obvious, but lame costume choice for this year - going as Sarah Palin.

Very funny. Especially the disclaimer at the bottom of the poster (see post title).

The Pin Cushion Queen

The final piece in the set of 12 of Tragic Toys for Girls & Boys, by Tim Burton.

Today, it's The Pin Cushion Queen.

Life isn't easy
for the Pin Cushion Queen.
When she sits alone on her throne
Pins push through her spleen.