Funniest thing read on a blog this week...

"Today I saw a guy in a "Rage Against The Machine" t-shirt angrily slapping the side of an ATM."

Found on Defective Yeti

At long last - I have found thee.......

I've owned a laptop for 2.5 years, but never got around to buying a proper case for it. It was never really a problem, I rarely take it anywhere (go figure), and the hand-me-down leather bag a co-worker gave me sort of did the job. So I thought it was time to get laptop a jacket. I was very fussy. One of the things I don't like about most laptop cases is that they try to be too much. I don't want places to put papers and discs and business cards and staplers. I want a nice, padded case for the laptop and enough room for the mouse and pad, AC adapter / cord, a Cat 5 network cable and the Wireless G PC-Card. That's it.

I found the perfect case. It's soft, but well padded. It sits vertically, so you place the laptop in sideways from the top. There are 4 zippered pouches around the outside edge, 2 on the top corners and 2 on the sides. They are the perfect size for the things I mentioned. No more, no less. The only thing I found lacking is a handle for carrying in your hand, but the shoulder carry is comfortable, considering how small the case is. Quaint Army green colour. $60 at Best Buy. (Canada)

Cool................ it's a brand name!

Something's just not right about this razor............. Can you spot what it is? More about this item here.

How do they get away with this?

Here's something that really ticks me off the more I hear of the real story. Calgary's downtown is not very parking friendly. But that's on purpose. The City wants you to take public transit to the downtown core and I have to admit - it's not excruciatingly bad getting you there. But outside of the core, relying on transit to get you to work is a bad option when cross-city bus rides could take 2 hours (versus a 30-40 minute drive). So most places provide enough parking spots for their employees to park. Unless you work for Foothills Medical Center. More on this rant in the comments....

Vader lives again!

I can hear the Star Wars fans rejoicing already. George Lucas has committed to writing a TV series (as yet unnamed) of around 100 episodes. The timeline is the missing span of 20 years between episodes III and IV of the movies.

Will this show be written solely for a young audience or will it try to attract an older fanbase as well? I for one want no more Jar Jar type characters. There's fun characters - and then there's over the top.

Is Linux better than Windows?

I was answering the question above on Answerbag.com and as I was posting it, I thought "I bet other people would like to read this too":

"The advantage of Windows is that you won't have any trouble finding software to run on Windows, especially games. All hardware manufacturers make device drivers for Windows. More people are familiar with Windows. More corporations have Windows on their desktops. More people know how to make Windows work.

But Linux has come a long way. Linux is still free, yet comes with a lot of features that I find are easier to figure out than the Windows counterpart; great web browsers (yes, more than one, usually); a free Office replacement that is quite compatible with Microsoft's offering; and tons of free utilities. Linux supports a vast pool of hardware now. I installed Ubuntu Linux on my HP laptop and it had no issues whatsoever - even setting up networking was simple. Linux has fewer (exploited) security vulnerabilities. Linux has no arrangements with the entertainment industry, so it has no crippling DRM in it's software. But Linux is most known for its stability. I've seen Linux run for over a year on a PC without needing a reboot.

I like Ubuntu the best of all the flavours of Linux that I've tried. It's best feature is that it has built-in access to an online software repository, that contains only software that has been tested to work with Ubuntu. So if the program you're looking for isn't bundled with Ubuntu, you can see if it exists and then download it.

I still find Windows more suitable for my day-to-day use, but that's heavily biased from my 20+ years of Windows use. If it wasn't for my favourite games and very specific programs, I would have no gripes about switching to Linux permanently. I continue to suggest Linux as an alternative to my clients who are fed up with Windows and fit into the right demographic. One last thing I love about Linux - certain distributions come in a Live CD version. Put the CD in your drive, reboot and watch Linux run right from a CD-ROM for demo purposes, without affecting your Windows installation. Now that's cool. "

It's gouging time again!

Well - gasoline prices are up again and it puts me in the mindset to rant about the gouging we get from the oil companies.

They claim that the reason they don't lower the price of gasoline immediately following a drop in oil prices is that they've already bought massive quantities of higher priced oil, which must be refined first. Once the expensive oil is processed, the price of gasoline will eventually come down. OK, so then why is it that as soon as oil prices go up - the price of gasoline follows almost immediately? What - you ran out of the cheap oil so quickly? Come on! We're not that dumb. Or maybe we are....

Talk faster! FASTER!!

One of my admitted faults is the fact that I sometimes don't let other people finish their sentences before I start talking myself. I know it's impolite - most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it until it's too late. The I try to calm myself down and let the other person finish before I get my next two cents in.

So, thinking about this trait, I tried to determine if I've exhibited this behavior for a long time. I don't recall being like this my whole life, so I tried to figure out at what point did this begin. Then it dawned on me. Telephone Banking. When I pay my bills, I do so by phone. This service allows me to interrupt the voice menu and just press the number of the action I want to do next. It seems this activity is conditioning me to be impatient. "Yeah yeah - pay a bill! Come on, come on - from chequing! Not tomorrow - today!" Telephone banking (and every other service I use with an automated switchboard) has made it possible for me to shortcut the normal communications rhythm and get right to the next point. Now it seems that rhythm is spilling over into my person to person conversations.

Stupid technology!

Map geek

I must not be an average male, because I usually don't stubbornly neglect to ask for directions when I'm lost. In fact, I think my unnatural fascination with maps has led to a practise of always checking out where I'm going on a map before venturing to a new destination - even if it's in my own city. Heck, before Darlene and I went to Newport Beach last summer, I had the place scoped out via Google Maps' satellite photos. I knew I was getting near the hotel even before I had it in sight. I can honestly say I have spent at the very least, 20 minutes a week gawking at Google Maps. If I'm preparing for a trip - up that to at least 90 minutes a week. Is that normal?

Two billboards that certainly belong together........

10 Peeves Dogs have about humans:

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny at all.
2. Yelling at me for barking.. ummm - I'm a dog, remember?
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who is this walk for anyway?
4. So you it when I balance food on my nose, huh? Watch what happens next time you put your hand there.....
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for humankind.
7. You take me to the vet for "the big snip", then act surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
8. So I sniff the crotches of your guests - sorry, I haven't quite mastered the handshake yet.
9. Dog sweaters. I'm guessing you haven't noticed the fur.
10. You put food on the coffee table right at my eye level and then expect me to ignore it. Are you cruel?

You'll be making a hard left........

".....all the phone lines are frozen solid....."

You've heard of the awful scams that come out of Nigeria et al. Now read the story as a scam-baiter naming themselves (I love this) Ingmar Bergman, from Sweden plays along and begins to turn the tables. Priceless. It's a long read, so get yourself a nice cup'a coffee or your favourite beverage and enjoy.........

Hebebe!

To appreciate this, you'd either have to be very silly, in a very silly mood, or a young child. Or me.

Heidi: I think Jessica might find this funny. You might thank me later or threaten to injure me in some way - I'm not sure which......

When computer geeks get hitched

Signs poorly translated into English

"Refund!" -- "Caution," as translated into Italian on a "wet floor" sign in an Italian McDonald's.


Heh. That's pretty funny when you think about it. More here.

OK......... who said this?

All marriages are dangerous. Marriage is the unsuccessful attempt to make something lasting out of an incident.

Try not to use the Internet to find the answer.......

While we're on the Simpson's thing.......

Listen to this guy do the Simpson's opening theme on acoustic guitar. That's some mad playin' yo! Super Mario theme by the same dude here.

"I made a commandment, I'm the Commander in Chief"

"We will hunt down the Lord's ring and get it back from the evildoers..."

Yeah - there's nothing like a good spoof on the POTUS, especially when it's done by someone who can actually do a great imitation of the Dubya.

It's almost primordial

Do you or someone you know really obsess about the Alien movies - in particular the alien design? Then you (or the someone you know) is going to love the Alien-style Giger back scratcher.

Girl, you know it's true.......

Here's a 15 year old commercial that lets Milli Vanilli parody themselves in a gum ad. To all you born of the iPod generation - that's a record player you see at the end of the ad, or turntable as it was called in the day..........

I'm not going to explain who Milli Vanilli are............... sorry.

That'll be 300 Eros..............errr Euros.....

Would you believe this is a real Euro note? Well, some people are passing them off as the real thing. Only in Europe...........?

But I'll be back tomorrow.....

So, we'll be seein' ya later, OK? Click here to find out why......

P.S.: Look at the URL closely and see if you can get it to say what you want - like maybe: the.entire.police.force.ishavingamassage.com

Things I'd like to see standard in homes someday...

1. A device that can chill or even freeze stuff in the time normally expected of a microwave oven.

2. Self-cleaning toilet, tub, sink - awwww heck - self-cleaning bathroom!

3. If the laundry area is on a lower floor - laundry chutes on every upper floor (we have one and it's fab).

4. A robotic vacuum that can avoid cords, shaggy accent carpets and rolls of toilet paper that have unraveled onto the floor.

5. Windows that can tint electronically in varying levels from clear to the point of absolute darkness.

6. Home power units that draw from various available sources (wind, solar, the grid, geothermal, natural gas, etc.)

7. Smart appliances that scale back when they sense periods of absence of the occupants (waterheater sets itself to vacation mode, water pressure reduces, furnace stops normal daily cycle...)

8. Built-in wireless network, audio and video distribution. I wanna put my speakers, TV and computers wherever I want to.

9. Xeriscaping - using plants that are suited to the natural environment (low maintenance, need little watering). That would also mean "bye bye grass".

10. Large speaker system that emits loud, blood-curdling dog bark to unwanted solicitors at front door.

Celebrity quote

Who said this?

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."

Kitty chuckles

I think cats are the most enigmatic animals on the planet. They can do some weird, funny stuff. Like the stuff in this video.....

I hope I don't get Intercontinental.....

Check out these Children's Science Exam answers:

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Check out how this guy's ass hangs out of his shorts

Original Post: This is just wrong on so many levels. Click here to see bigger picture.

Updated post (for people who [based on the comments] found my original post too confusing):

Hello World. This is not a picture of me. My ass isn't that big, my hair is not that dark and I could never grow a beard that full. This is a picture of some anonymous guy - probably taken while he was on vacation. I have nothing to do with the creation of this picture. I don't know the guy, nor have any idea where the picture was taken.

Why did I post this picture? Hmmm....... It might have had something to do with the fact that his shorts (in my opinion only) are perhaps just a little too 'short' than would be appropriate. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just thought it was funny.

While I'm taking the piss out of this poor fellow, I may as well let you know that I think he's gay. I only came to this conclusion because his outfit matches. Not that there's anything wrong with that.........

Oops. Sorry. My sarcasm is showing.

Bill! Whatchu doin back there?

Funny billboard zen.

Office 2007 peek

If you're interested in seeing what the Office 2007 interface will look like, check here.