Bruise

 

Folk from the heart

The more I listen to the first song (Over everything) from this Tiny Desk concert featuring Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile, the more I like it. [0:00-4:51] It’s just got the most casual folksy vibe to it and these two obviously love playing together. The joy is contagious.

The rest of the set’s good too.

What is the significance of the red area?

 

Small things 28 Oct

• Trump keeps saying he wants to see Biden in prison, but I don't think Biden will have time to visit him there.
• Stormtroopers are notoriously bad shots. Does that also mean they take shitty photos?
• Dear alarm clock manufacturers: Make double-tapping the snooze reset the alarm for the same time tomorrow. Then make it possible to program the alarm to only fire on specific days of the week. The double-tap would advance the reset to the next scheduled day. That is all.
• When the tab breaks off the top of the soda can trying to open it.
• The fun I could have as a traffic cop saying, “Do you know why I pulled you over today?”
• What’s the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
• The word ‘gullible’ isn’t in the dictionary.
• Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards… creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is.
• “Run out of makeup?” [4 words to ruin a 1st date]

Mentally challenged

 

Monster Mash

Britain's BBC banned the single Monster Mash by Bobby 'Boris' Pickett. It was banned under a catch-all regulation prohibiting the broadcast of anything deemed "offensive". The song was written in about two hours. This is a dance song based on the "Mashed Potato" dance craze, which is where The "Mash" in the title comes in. Pickett is narrating the story as Dr. Frankenstein. Response was overwhelming, as California radio stations saw their phone banks lighting up with requests for the song. The original title was "Monster Twist" in an attempt to jump on the Twist craze, but that fad was fading so they tried calling it "Monster Mashed Potato," then settled on "Monster Mash." 

This is arguably the most successful novelty song of all time. Bobby Pickett accomplished the rare feat of reaching the top 100 music chart three times with the same song. On October 20, 1962, the original release hit #1 in the US. The song re-entered the Billboard Hot 100 on August 29, 1970 peaking at #91, and then again on May 5, 1972 when it went all the way to #10. The song has sold over four million copies and continues to be a Halloween favorite. The song made little impact in the UK until it was re-released there in 1973 and reached #3 on the Singles chart. By this time Boris Pickett was a 32-year-old part time New York cab driver.

Maybe not for you...

 

Things I learned lately 28 Oct

• The Hyundai Nexo is their first hydrogen fuel cell that will be available in Canada. It has a range of 570 km and can be refueled in 5 minutes. It even purifies the outside air as you drive.
• There’s a new young player on the Montreal Canadiens hockey team named ARBER XHEKAJ. His teammates call him wi-fi, because his name looks like someone’s wi-fi network password.
• Chinese checkers was invented in Germany in 1892 under the name "Stern-Halma" as a variation of the older American game Halma. The Stern (German for star) refers to the board's star shape (in contrast to the square board used in Halma). The name "Chinese checkers" originated in the US as a marketing scheme by Bill and Jack Pressman in 1928. The Pressman company's game was originally called "Hop Ching Checkers". The game is neither a variation of checkers, nor did it originate in China or any part of Asia.
• Nearly 20 US states have constitutions that include language permitting slavery and involuntary servitude as criminal punishments.
• A butt is a real unit of measurement for a cask of wine. A buttload is about 108 Imperial gallons.
• The German version of the term “Average Joe” is Otto Normalverbraucher, which translates to “Otto normal consumer.”
• Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone in 1876, suggested answering calls with "ahoy."

Yeah I knocked yer stupid planter over

 

I’ll take an extra extra extra large

They’re taking our wonderful robot coffee machine away at work soon.

No problem. There’s a Tim’s on the way to work.

What i want for Xmas - a magnetic goose

 

Small things 22 Oct

• It’s a bit weird that in Canada when we say thank you to someone providing a service, they usually say "You’re welcome", but in the US they just respond “Mmm hmm”. It’s not rude, it’s just what they do.
• Apparently in New Zealand, it’s perfectly fine to go around barefoot, even in stores.
• In Chile, "Tomorrow" means next week. "Next week" means never. "I'm already there" means "I'm thinking about starting to prepare to go out".
• Have we checked all the food to see if exploding them makes them into something better, or did we just stop after corn?
• Men: When you text your girlfriend and there's a pause before her reply, she's just screenshotting what you wrote and sharing it with her friends.
• If he can't appreciate fruit puns, let that mango.
• When you had to drop the record needle perfectly in the record groove between the tracks to play a specific song (that wasn’t the first track).
• IKEA is just grown up Lego. Discuss….

So, how big is it?

 

Stealth littering

I just saw my first example of what I can only describe as ‘stealth littering’. 

A woman used a wet wipe to clean up her kid as she was loading him into his car seat. Instead of walking and throwing it into a garbage can or blatantly throwing it on the ground, she left it where the hatch meets the bumper along the back of her SUV. The idea presumably, is to let it just casually fall of the back of the SUV while she’s driving.

Talk about being lazy. Like, you couldn’t even just throw it on the floor of your SUV?

Have kids they said

 

Things I learned lately 22 Oct

• The last Pontiac ever made was a 2010 Pontiac G6 four cylinder, built in Orion Michigan. It was built as a fleet-spec vehicle and titled in Hawaii as a rental vehicle in January 2010. It remained in service for more than a year until it was sent to auction in May 2011 where it was then purchased by a dealership and titled in California with just 27,725 miles on the odometer. 3 months later, it was sold to its last owner who drove it for nearly 60,000 miles before it was reported as a total loss in February 2015. The G6 was then sent to a salvage auction where it was sold for $450—less than 3% of its original MSRP. In February 2016, a year after it was reported as a loss, the G6 was exported to Mexico and the trail went cold. Ironically, the second-to-last Pontiac built was also totaled in 2020 with about 67,000 miles on the odometer.
• A big part of Swedish culture is Fika breaks at 9am and 3pm at work, or anytime if not at work. Fika is a concept that means, “Have cake, coffee and chit-chat.”
• Dabney Coleman auditioned to play the professor on Gilligan’s Island.
• Japan has invented a device that when pointed at your mouth makes it difficult to talk because it sends your voice back to you with a 200 msec delay, which is very disorienting. It’s called SpeechJammer.
• The German word for freckles is "sommersprossen," or "summer sprouts."
• Mountain dew used to mean moonshine before it became a soft drink brand.
• Volvo gave away the 1962 patent for their revolutionary three-point seat belt for free, in order to save lives.

Aww somebody wants to get their nose booped

 

Small things 15 Oct

• It looks like the Blue Jays have learned a thing or two from the Maple Leafs. Ha. Couldn’t help it.
• When I was a kid, I thought "This little piggy went to market" meant it went shopping.
• Science needs to find a way to give us 8 hours of sleep while only spending 6 hours in the bed.
• Ever wait for the phone to stop ringing so that you can text them and ask what they want?
• There's only one thing worse than your driver's license photo. Your Costco membership card photo. 'Hangry'.
• “You seem very bipolar.” [4 words to ruin a 1st date]
• Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations. ~George Orwell 
• Describe a movie badly: "All he wants is human flesh." [Pinocchio]
• Due to the unanticipated rise in inflation, the dirty deeds are still available, but at a significant premium.

I don't think you know what that word means

 

The latest Covid news

Since nobody is talking about Covid, like it’s gone or something (and it’s definitely not), I’d like to bring you all up to speed on the latest.

The most common variant, BA.5, has the following symptoms (based on folks who have tested positive): (The percentages indicate that for example 64% of Covid positive folks experienced sore throats)

• Sore throat 64%
• Runny nose and/or headache 53%
• Blocked nose and/or dry cough 52%
• Sneezing 47%
• Cough with phlegm 46%
• Hoarse voice 44%
• Muscle pains and aches 29%
• Fatigue 23%
• Dizzy / light headed 21%
• Altered smell 20%
• Swollen neck glands 18%
• Sore eyes 16%
• Chest pain and/or shortness of breath 16%
• Loss of smell 14%
• Earache 15%
• Chills 13%
• Joint pain 11%

The experts are suggesting that this indicates we are very close to an endemic phase, as Covid slowly becomes more of an inconvenience for healthy people than a health risk.

How I feel about summer ending

 

Things I learned lately 15 Oct

• There's a grocery store in Denmark (consistently recognized as one of the happiest countries in the world) where shoppers must smile at a computer monitor in order to gain entry into the store. Yes, if you're a grump the doors won't open for you! You can check it out here. https://steemit.com/news/@danibehram/give-me-your-smile-i-need-your-smile-store-in-denmark-opens-its-doors-smile-just
• The Los Angeles streetcar system was primarily operated by Pacific Electric (1901-1961) and developed into the largest trolley system in the world by the 1920′s. Residents and visitors alike could routinely traverse from Santa Monica to San Bernardino. Many modern communities were built around the streetcar network. The system, at its peak, included over 1,100 miles of track with 900 electric trolley cars.
• Thousands of years ago, most adults could not drink milk (lactose), but they could eat yogurt and cheese, which has less lactose. Those who don’t have lactose intolerance have a genetic mutation.
• Ancestrally humans are 'persistence hunters'. That is, our main tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run them down, because animals aren’t marathon runners and they can’t dissipate heat like we can.
• When you first set your sight on the seconds of a watch (or anything with a rapid regular movement) you will sometimes feel like the first second lasts a little bit too long. It's because your brain replaces the motion blur that happens when you move your sight from wherever it was to the watch with a fixed image. And the cool thing is that it replaces it after the fact, or rather gives you a very short false memory that you were already watching the watch while your eyes were moving, making that first second seem longer. It's called Chronostasis.
• Blood donors in Sweden get a text anytime their blood helped a patient.

Pay no attention to the man in the middle...

 

People who fill their gas tank at various points

Refilling at 3/4 full: "I can only afford $20."

Refilling at 1/2 full: "I need to buy lottery tickets."

Refilling at 1/4 full: "I gotta keep my fuel pump cool."

Refilling at empty: "I know my car dammit!"

Pop Muzik

 

Small things 7 Oct

• My favourite colour is October.
• It's OK to suck at things. Just be sure to keep trying new things.
• God: You’re like a chicken. Duck: OK… God: But you’re waterproof. Duck: I’m liking it already. God: And you honk. A lot. Duck: So I’ll be dealing with a lot of traffic… God: Uh no. Duck: [sudden realization] I’m a New Yorker!
• If you ever trip or fall in public, just smile and say, “Sorry, it’s been a while since I inhabited a physical body.” and just walk away.
• I often wonder if people on Facebook or Instagram who post pics of their vacation destinations know that you can Google ‘Chichén Itzá’ and get tons of pictures of the place of a much better quality than any you could possibly take. Like, just post those pics. Or, I don’t know, maybe don’t post any pictures, because we all have Google.
• The modern version of that classic scene from Say Anything would have the guy holding up his phone to play the song and as he presses play, an ad starts instead.
• When you finally know that you're old: You start leaving Google reviews for every single place you visit. I just reviewed the parking spot in front of my house. 5 stars - would recommend.

He can get you 15% off car insurance

 

Geoquiz intersect

 

The location depicted in this photo is near the intersection of what 3 countries?

Pre-snow

Things I learned lately 7 Oct

• In Montreal, the overnight or late night buses will stop in between stops for anyone travelling alone and asking the driver to do so.
• Rice Krispies Marshmallow Squares were invented in 1938 in Tampa, Florida. Kellogg's loved the new treat made with their cereal and put the recipe right on the box by 1940.
• Eating lunch at your desk may not be fun, but you can get some work done. In France, that's forbidden. The French labor code prohibits workers from eating lunch in the workplace.
• Legend has it that the Danish pastry was invented by accident by a thoughtless French chef in the 17th century, who opened a bakery in Paris to sell the "thousand leaves" pastries that became so popular that he franchised to Italy, where Austrian tourists apparently noticed them. Fast forward to 1850. Striking Danish bakers were scabbed over by bakers from Vienna, who didn't know how to make native Danish pastries, so they made what are now called Danish pastries. It became a hit in Denmark, where it’s called a "Viennese," while Germans call it a "Copenhagener".
• The science of happiness says these things promote happiness: enhanced social connections - quality, not quantity; performing random acts of kindness; express gratitude - writing down 3 things you're grateful for at the end of each day, and why they happened; mindfulness - be present, don't judge your emotions, but recognize them; be present in the moment rather than dwelling on the past or looking anxiously to the future; understand that setbacks are part of being human, and all people experience them; cultivate a warm, supportive inner voice rather than a hostile, self-critical one.
• There are 305 Tesla supercharger locations in California. There are 100 in all of Canada.