Small things 20 Dec

• Whose bright idea was it to make a toilet paper ad featuring bears wiping their butts? Bears!
• Here's to all those consumers out there who never removed the plastic protection film off their electronic devices.
• Waterbeds. There was a time when I thought they were cool. Yes, I owned one. No, I did not bring it with me when I moved in with Darlene.
• Dear 2019: I expected a lot more from you. But in the spirit of empathy, maybe you just weren't feeling it. I know this is so cliche, but you're fired. Dear 2020: You'd better impress my socks off, because there's a line of other years waiting to take your place.
• When you were a kid, did you play that game where you'd knock on someone's door and then run away before they could answer? Well, UPS is hiring.............
• If Santa keeps track of naughty kids every year, technically the year doesn't start until January 1st. So between December 26th and 31st all bad stuff goes undocumented I guess. Have fun kids.....
• Isn't it weird that people on a boat will wave to people on shore, or on another boat? And the other people wave back! It's like, "Hey! I'm on a boat!" "Yes, I see you!"
• It won't be long before kids start asking "Why do we call it 'hanging up' the phone?"