Actual conversation I had with my cable TV provider

Me: Hey. One of my cable boxes doesn't show any content. It just says 'not authorized' on every channel. It worked a couple of weeks ago, but not anymore. I've already tried unplugging it etc.
Them: Can I get you phone number and address? (I give it)
Them: Can you spell your last name? (I spell it)
Them: Can you give me the last 4 digits of your driver's license? (I give it)
Them: So, because your driver's license is personal ID, we can't use that anymore. So I need you to come up with a PIN to validate yourself any time you call from now on. (I make one up)
Them: OK. Can you give me the serial number of the box? It's usually on the back.
Me: Sure, just let me disassemble this TV cabinet so I can get back there......
[many minutes go by and I finally get the box turned around]
Me: Uh, there's 2 numbers, which do you need?
Them: One of them should start with an 'M', or a 'C'.
Me: Nope. I have one that starts with four zeroes and one that starts with 'AA'.
Them: That's not right. Is there a sticker with a bar code?
Me: They both have bar codes.
Them: Does the one that starts with zeroes have another sticker right below it?
Me: Nope.
Them: OK. They didn't put a serial number sticker on your box. Give me the number that starts with the zeroes, we should be able to find it in the system. (I give the number)
[long pause]
Them: OK. That box is no longer compatible with our network.
Me: Sorry, what?
Them: We have been upgrading our network one neighbourhood at a time and your box is not compatible with the new frequencies. We anticipate calls from anyone with an older box when we convert each new neighbourhood.
Me: OK. Now what?
Them: Your box is not a rental, but we are obliged to replace it. So we will get you a new box, but it will only be for standard definition channels, not HD.
Me: That's alright, this TV is only standard definition right now.
Them: OK. We are sending you a rental unit but you won't have to pay rent on it.
Me: That's so great.
Them: Would you like to pick it up at a store or should we mail it to you?
Me: Where are the stores?
Them: [struggling with the pronuciation, in a thick Indian accent] Chi............nook? Or Sunrigged (It's actually Sunridge).
Me: Those are the only stores?
Them: Those are the only stores with this particular model.
Me: Just mail it to me.
(They never advised me on what to do with the old box)
(My new box pictured)