Saturday, October 21, 2017

Small things - 21 Oct


  • There may come a day when the highest rated hot dog joint on Yelp will be Costco, if it hasn't come to that already.
  • If you're worried that people are reading your thoughts, every once in a while just think 'I know you can hear me...' then just peer around for looks of shock.
  • "One man's trash is another man's treasure" is NOT a good way to tell your child they're adopted.
  • Toilet: A porcelain device whose purpose depends on whether or not you are really drunk.
  • Whenever you see a tire hanging from a tree, do you think "Poor tire. Didn't he realize that life is worth living?"
  • If you were ever thinking of committing a crime, just remember, there's no Netflix in prison.

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