Shell easyPAY FAQ

When will easyPay be discontinued? 1 June 2011.

Why is easyPAY being discontinued? Because it works. Because you like it. You thought the only way we'd push your buttons was by wildly varying the price of gas. Nope. We enjoy annoying you on multiple levels.

Will Shell be replacing easyPAY with some other contact-less pay solution? Maybe. And by maybe we mean we're still thinking about it. And by we're still thinking about it we mean probably not. We are evaluating some exciting alternate pay options such as first-born sacrifice and spousal kidnapping. In the meantime, we would like to sincerely apologize for any inconvenience, but we're laughing way too hard for it to come out sincerely.

Can I still pay at the pump? Absolutely. It's never been easier. Just fumble for your wallet or purse, then insert and quickly remove your credit card. NOTE: If your card is about to expire in less than six months, be aware that the card may not be accepted. You can then insert your Air Miles card and quickly remove it to collect your reward miles. Air Miles aren't worth as much as they used to be, so don't be surprised if you need to buy 5 years' worth of gasoline products before you can fly to the next major city away from you. By the time you've finished swiping your two magnetic strip cards, you had better have quickly answered 'yes' to the displayed question 'Would you like a fill up?', or if it times out, you'll have to begin all over again.

What do I do with my easyPAY tag after 1 June 2011? Keep it. The built-in GPS tracking device is used by government intelligence officials to track your movements to make sure you're not a terrorist. In fact, that's always been the purpose of the tag all along. Using it to buy our gasoline products was just a front. Don't you dare try to throw it out. We know where you live.