Attention: Human Resources
Resume for Log Fire Attendant
Name: Karl Plesz
Education & skill set:
- Woodcutter apprentice at International Institute of Woodsmen
- Certified Expert wood stacker
- Trained in lattice, igloo and pyramid style of log placement
- Master creosote removal technician
- Up to date on burn rates of all deciduous and coniferous tree types.
- Expert lumberjack shirt sleeve rolling technique.
- Certified in damp wood smoke control.
- Chopped wood at summer camp for 6 years in a row.
- Built fires in back yard since I was 4 years old.
- Have had wood burning fireplace in 7 of last 9 homes.
- Have built log piles in both clockwise and counter-clockwise methods.
- Created words with log pieces to see if anyone would notice.
- Hand crafted my own set of fireplace tools, including a forged steel poker.
- Specialities include log scenting, hot coal stirring and cinder-less log tossing.
- Pictured is the latest failed wood fire I managed to save from total ruin through strategic poking and fresh log placement.