Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My resume for working at the log fire channel

To: Shaw log fire live feed channel
Attention: Human Resources

Resume for Log Fire Attendant

Name: Karl Plesz

Education & skill set:
  • Woodcutter apprentice at International Institute of Woodsmen
  • Certified Expert wood stacker
  • Trained in lattice, igloo and pyramid style of log placement
  • Master creosote removal technician
  • Up to date on burn rates of all deciduous and coniferous tree types.
  • Expert lumberjack shirt sleeve rolling technique.
  • Certified in damp wood smoke control.
Work Experience & Accomplishments:
  • Chopped wood at summer camp for 6 years in a row.
  • Built fires in back yard since I was 4 years old.
  • Have had wood burning fireplace in 7 of last 9 homes.
  • Have built log piles in both clockwise and counter-clockwise methods.
  • Created words with log pieces to see if anyone would notice.
  • Hand crafted my own set of fireplace tools, including a forged steel poker.
  • Specialities include log scenting, hot coal stirring and cinder-less log tossing.
  • Pictured is the latest failed wood fire I managed to save from total ruin through strategic poking and fresh log placement.

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