Are those mukluks you're wearing or are you just happy to see me?

Never mind importing Playboy and Hustler TV for Canadian viewing, the CRTC has approved Northern Peaks - Canada’s first all-porn all-the-time TV channel. As a part of the deal, Northern Peaks must provide 50% Canadian content in prime time (regular prime time, not porn prime time) and - not making this up - all programming must be closed captioned.
So.... uh..... how do you close caption a significant portion of porn programming?

Another condition of the license: The content must fall under certain categories such as: long-from documentaries, dramatic show, comedy, special, mini-series and movies, among others. Well, I guess you could classify a porn performance as comedy if you watch it with the sound off and the closed captioning turned on......

Thanks again to Ernest for the content.