- Well, I've always wanted a wife, and she's always wanted to be a citizen...
- How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
- You know, at parties, people always ask "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi!
- The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?" I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way."
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