All is not what it seems

The wacky thing about the Internet is the sheer lack of trustworthiness (woo....big word) regarding the information you will find on it. You really have to learn to recognize unreliable information when you see it. No web site exemplifies this better (IMHO) than Trip Advisor.

It's a great site that helps you to plan a trip by getting reviews from people who've stayed at the hotel you're considering, with links to other sites that will help you get deals too. The reviews make for interesting reading. Some are easily identifiable as sincere, personal accounts with helpful details about the hotel. Others are blatant attempts to trash the hotel with questionable facts and even more blatant suggestions for better hotels down the street, using travel agent lingo.

It just goes to show you, be careful not to take everything you read too seriously.

Cucumber!!!!

Sesame Street will kick off its 35th season this week with healthy habits in mind. Our beloved blue, furry monster — who sang "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me" — is now singing "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food," where Cookie Monster learns healthy habits such as there are "anytime" foods and "sometimes" foods.

What's next - anger management for Oscar the grouch? Psychotherapy for Big Bird? Ritalin for Elmo?

Thanks to my friend Jeff for the lead.

Countywide pants

I wanted to copy this post at Defective Yeti in its entirety, but you just have to read it for yourself on his blog.

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre

A machine built by the Purdue Society of Professional Engineers used 125 steps to change the batteries in a flashlight, that incorporated a bouncing water balloon, a fireman action figure fleeing a fire and weights attached to a spinning bicycle wheel to win bragging rights and the chance to compete for a national title in inefficiency.

So this is where Microsoft gets their engineers from......

Think Time

This Silicon Valley Slang site is promising and will only get better with more entries. My faves include:

Banana Problem - What you call something that you don't expect will take a lot of effort for less technically knowledgeable types (i.e. big dumb gorillas) to handle. Usually referred in increments of bananas such as "One Banana" for very easy and "Two Banana" for typically easy. Example: "What's taking them so long to do that upgrade? That's a two banana problem at most."

Double Geeking - Using two computers at the same time. Hence, triple geeking is using three computers at once.

Potato Server - Any server in a network which operates suspiciously slower than it's siblings.

Prairie Dogging - The event of everyone in their cubicles to get out of their chairs, stand up on their toes and peer over the tops of their cubicles to see what is happening. Usually comes from a big fight or something of the same magnitude. You usually just see a lot of other eyes and foreheads if you're one of the "prairie dogs".

Screen-Saver Face - The look one gets when they have been bored to the point of just shutting off their brain.

How rude!

14% (on average) of the world's cell phone users report that they have stopped in the middle of a sex act to answer a ringing wireless device.

I would never do this. And if I did, I guarantee it would be the last sex act I would be participating in.......

Just a shadow of my real self

Stortroopers were a hit some five years ago when site owners created small pixellated avatars of themselves to put on their website. Now they're back and updated.

There's the original classic set, plus the gothTroopers and a new wardrobe for fashionistaTroopers. This time, Stortroopers is released under a Creative Commons license, which means that you can add stuff to your trooper yourself.

Yes, that's my avatar - if I lost 40 pounds....

Accolades and insults...

I'm sure you've all seen text-to-speech engines do their thing before. This example adds a little twist - it offers the service with a talking avatar and can speak in several languages (assuming the inputted text is in that language). If you could preprogram some scripts and feed them into this thing, it would be like having your own Max (or in this case Maxine) Headroom spewing accolades and insults at you. Heh. Yes, my mind is a strange and wonderful thing - eh? [note to file: trademark the phrase "accolades and insults" - it's got a nice ring to it]

Where art thou free WiFi?

I just got back from a business trip and brought my laptop along for entertainment. The last time I was there, I could have sworn the airport in Calgary had free WiFi so I was looking forward to a little surfing while waiting for my flight. Well, if it was free, it isn't anymore - Telus runs it now. So I fired the laptop up to give it a whirl. Then I saw the rates. $8 for 60 minutes. Excuse me?

OK people, I would have thought the 'value added' business model would have caught on by now, but I guess not. So here goes. Attention all businesses that want to attract and keep more customers. If you offer free WiFi as a value added service to your already-bloated prices, customers will want to try your business and be tempted to stay longer - which will likely lead to their consuming more of your ridiculously-priced services / product! No overhead to process billing either. It's a win-win situation.

[tap tap] Is this thing on?

Where are the wings?

I saw one of those Red Bull Minis around town today. Let's just say it turned a few heads.

Show me the way and I will lead them all

It's been a while since I met someone who used a Mac. Mac users tend to be fanatics and my new friend Jason is no exception. His pride in his Powerbook is bordering on the obsessive - he goes around using phrases like "oh my Mac doesn't have that problem" and "wanna see how the Mac does it - it's so much easier". Granted, their product is a thing of beauty - both in design and implementation. I just can't justify having a third platform in my life right now.

If someone would like to sponsor me by buying me a Powerbook, I'd be willing to give the whole Mac thing a try. Here's the deal - if I become a convert, I'll pledge to spend the rest of my life to spreading the word.

Star Wars junkies unite!

I gotta get this on a t-shirt......

Just give me what I want

I feel sorry for consumers who try to buy computer stuff then get coerced into buying something they don't want / need. I personally know two people who went shopping for a specific Canon scanner and the salesperson (in 2 different stores) tried to talk them into an Epson scanner, which they not only didn't want - but had troubles with on previous occasions.

Have you ever...

The latest meme list (slightly modified). Have you ever:

( ) thought you saw a UFO
(X) been to a country besides your own or a neighbouring country
( ) had surgery
( ) kissed a complete stranger
(X) been in a fight
( ) been arrested
(X) done drugs
(X) danced on a table in a bar
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
( ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(X) kissed in an elevator
(X) slept under the stars
(X) swore at your parents
( ) kicked a guy where it hurts
(X) been caught talking to yourself
( ) gone skydiving
( ) broken one of your bones
( ) skinny-dipped
(X) skipped a day of school
( ) flashed a complete stranger
(X) consulted a mental health professional
( ) played spin the bottle
(X) thrown a live grenade
( ) seen the same movie more than 5 times in a movie theatre
( ) touched a monkey
( ) gotten stitches
(X) touched an iceberg
(X) been to Niagara Falls
( ) had your tonsils out
(X) been cited for disturbing the peace
(X) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) been in a serious vehicle accident
(X) seen a wild wolf up close
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(X) stole something from your job
(X) gone on a blind date
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) slept with a co-worker
(X) been married
( ) been divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
(X) driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) had control of a real plane
( ) dressed up for a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) passed out in a bar
(X) seen the sun at midnight
(X) started a big fire, even by accident (fireplaces etc. don't count)
( ) seen your favourite team win the championship - live
( ) dated someone you met on the internet
( ) been backstage or on stage at a concert
( ) injured yourself on purpose
( ) been in the middle of a riot
(X) quit smoking

Thanks to the cheese stands alone for the idea.

I can see my house from here!

Google has added satellite imagery to their Google Maps tool. Look for the 'Satellite' feature over on the right of the screen. It's not a perfect offering yet, but I was able to pick out my family's homes in the outskirts of Montreal with no trouble and even saw who had cars parked out front (at the time the picture was taken). When the images get better and become updated on a regular basis - that would be cool.

Guess who I saw?

I'm in Ottawa on business and I'm walking back from supper and I did a double take as the leader of the NDP party of Canada (Jack Layton) walks by. I didn't bother him, but it was kinda neat that I saw him walking alone in downtown Ottawa. And that I had this urge to just blurt out "Hi Jack". I don't know if that would have been appropriate, but I'm guessing not too many other political leaders would elicit that kind of reaction (or be walking the streets alone) - and I'm a dyed in the wool Liberal!

Woohoo! Give me some Blue!

In the ongoing battle against gum disease and tooth decay, researchers from the Forsyth Institute in Boston US, say that a blue light is more effective at eradicating harmful bacteria than antiseptic mouthwash. Man, Labatt's better start making a lot more of the brew before............oooops - sorry. I guess they meant a light of the colour blue - heh!

Homemade cartoons ocho

Some day, I might even think of something funny to put in these cartoons. Just be patient.

Homemade cartoons seven

Btw, that's one of the beaches in heaven and Freddie really did say that.....

Leaping into the abyss

OMG! I just found the most amazing web page to send 'someone-who-is-high' to view. They may never speak to you again, but make sure you're there to witness their reaction, OK? Heck, try it out yourself, if you're in the right frame of mind, it might have an effect on you too. Very well done....

Thanks to The Cheese Stands Alone for the link.

Hallmark cards we wish we could buy

I'll introduce a few here, the rest will be in the comments. Feel free to add your own creations / discoveries in the comments too.

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I got out to look...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She's safe with me.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
She's making great pay.

Don't fade away

Neil Young is recovering from surgery to correct a brain aneurysm. He's expected to make a full recovery. I hope this doesn't mean he'll start singing like Bob Dylan. Oooops! Wrong ailment - sorry....

Get well Neil.....

Well well well you (ooh ooh ooh ooh)

I would like to try an experiment. I'd like to bring a ghetto blaster to a zoo or any other facility where there are some monkeys (chimps to be precise). Then I would like to play the song "You make my dreams come true" by Hall & Oates. I'd like to see how would monkeys react to the song - like would they chime in? Go ahead, listen to the song (in particular the backup vocal) - then get back to me.

Join the club - it's free!

Darlene confided in me that a long time ago, when she was young and poor, she was a member of the International Order of Women Who Buy a Dress From Sears Then Return it the Next Day, or IOWWBDFSTRND. Yeah, I know - such a bad thing to do, but I think she justified it with words like "well, everybody does it" or "I didn't make enough money back then to buy my own dress", etc. Well, I guess women have been doing this for decades and Sears is getting a little ticked - who can blame them. So in an effort to put a stop to this practise, they've put these big-assed tags on the outside of the dresses and told customers that they cannot return the dress once the tag has been removed.

Call me crazy, but I'm thinking wearing a dress to an event with this huge tag still on your dress would be the perfect way to declare to the world that you're still a member in good standing of the IOWWBDFSTRND club, no?

I loves me some good t-shirt slogans

T-shirt seen today: "Time is an invention"

Believe it or not....

What's fun about April Fool's Day is you really need to be on your toes. At Think Geek, for example, my fave offering was this nice Executive Pong set.

At work, the girl who runs our lottery pool e-mailed us to announce she had bought the tickets, but then lost them 'who-knows-where'. You can just imagine the results.

Death is not enough for your stupidity!

Touch this and die. Then we're going to fine your lifeless ass...

The joke's on you!

Tomorrow is April 1st and you know what that means.....

Check out this list of the Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of all time.

I'll tell you why I went through the red light officer...

Panhandlers are an creative bunch. The latest generation have come up with an innovative venue to solicit for funds - standing on the median between both sides of a road at a traffic light. This gives them convenient access to drivers in their cars while they're stopped at red lights. Wonderful. It's bad enough we have to deal with this kind of solicitation on sidewalks downtown, or in mall or grocery store parking lots. Now I have to deal with this at the damned stop light? May the bumpers of a thousand Dodge Ram trucks (with a hemi) leave imprints on your backpacks.

Maybe I'm just stereotyping and the number of people stuck in Calgary on the way to (wherever) with no money for the bus (or food, or coffee, or a hotel) has reached epidemic proportions...

X marks the spot

How mismatched does your signature have to be before someone notices? A lot apparently....