Texting the alien #21

To all youth about to go out on their own

A list of tips for when you go out on your own.

• Your parents don't want what's best for you, they want what's good for you, which isn't always the same thing.
• Alarm clocks need a backup battery in case the power goes out.
• Try not to judge other people, but especially those people whose shoes you have not walked in.
• Run the hot water in the kitchen sink before running the dishwasher. The load will have much hotter water, which will possibly let you do without the heat boost from the dishwasher.
• Laughter is one of the most powerful medicines and the prescription is practically free.
• There are possibly more varieties of bread than chips. The breads with grains are the best ones for you.
• When you listen to someone, focus on what they're saying as if there will be a test afterwards.
• Peanut butter keeps a lot longer than the date on the jar. Go by smell and taste.
• When driving, always be prepared for the worst in the other drivers. Don't expect it, just be prepared.
• Hold the door for other people. Just do it.
• When cooking, make a lot, eat some, freeze the rest.
• You need much less perfume than you realize. Is there perfume in your deodorant? That's all you need.
• The quicker a food can expire, the better it is for you. If it comes in a box, avoid eating it.
• Soup, stew, it always tastes better after a second day of slow cooking.
• Even if she insists, pay for the meal.
• Prepare a list for packing luggage. You start with the ultimate list and pare down depending on the trip.
• Always be 15 minutes early for any meeting or appointment. No exceptions.
• Going to school does not guarantee you a job in the career path you chose - especially if there are no available jobs in that path.
• Never miss a payment on any credit or bill. Banks will use the next 7 years to remind you of it and they will hold it against you.
• Butter over margarine. Trust me.
• Sometimes, you can find decent, almost new second-hand clothing at the local thrift store. $5 versus $75.
• Flowers only mean something if they're UNexpected.
• Never underestimate the cleaning power of vinegar.
• Don't compromise your principles or opinion just to please someone.
• Learn to make a great soup. Make a lot and invite your friends over to share it with them.
• Every time you say 'no', an entire reality is crushed into oblivion.
• Toilets, dishes and clothes will not clean themselves. Don't worry about the cats.
• Your intuition should be followed. I can't stress this enough. Learn to tell your intuition from your ego.
• Buying a house typically earns a crap-load more as an investment than any other savings strategy.
• Once meat reaches 160F, it's safe to eat. Invest in a meat thermometer, then you'll know for sure.
• Unless it interferes with your ability to earn money or retain a great friend, try to accept all invitations.
• You'll have way more fun if you're NOT drunk at the party.
• Clean clothes can be achieved through less detergent and a longer laundry cycle.
• Never leave food on the floor. Unless you want to share your home with ants.
• Chocolate is meant to be shared, not hoarded.
• You'll always do better to get your vitamins and minerals from real food than from pills.
• Any clothing not worn in more than a year would be best given to a charity.
• It's not what you know - it's who you know.
• Never trying is so much worse than failing. 
• First 3 kitchen tools to buy: church key (bottle opener), can opener, a good knife.
• Every day you begin with joy in your heart and a smile on your face will be much more energetic, productive and fulfilling.

HÄDRÖNN CJÖLIDDER

Video pan in front of Tower 23

In case you didn't catch this on Facebook, I took a video pan with my phone of the area directly in front of our hotel.

Can you see why we love this place so much?

Back from San Diego

I just put up a photo album on Facebook from the trip. Here is the link.

Tim Hortons food chain

I'm at the Calgary airport and we're eating at the Tim Horton in the secure area in the US destination wing. They have a very limited selection of food and very curt staff at this outlet. I could have any type of bagel that i like as long as it is sun dried roach with cracked beetle shell flavour. I try to visualize how this outlet fits into the pecking order at the airport and I imagine that the Tim's in the front area of the terminal gets first dibs at the food delivery from the Tim's truck. Then the domestic wing gets the cast offs. The US wing staff probably have to dumpster dive the rejects and wipe off the dirt to stock their shelves. Which would explain why my chocolate glazed donut had very little glaze on it.

Vacation break

The White Noise blog will be on pause for 8 or so days while yours truly and his lovely companion Darlene jet off to sunny San Diego.

That's our hotel, yes. That's the ocean, yes. We'll be waking up to the sound of surf, yes.

I may throw a pic or two up on Facebook while I'm away - who knows.

Definitely getting a piece of this

So I'm really excited about a new piece of technology that will be coming out later this year that I have decided to invest in, along with over 66,000 other people. What makes this all possible in the first place is the use of a web-based crowd sourcing investment portal where inventors, artists and so forth can display what they want to create. These creators can indicate how much money they're looking for and by what date and indicate to potential investors what they get as a reward depending upon the level of investment they choose. The investment portal is called Kickstarter.

In this particular case I was notified of an existing small technology company that has designed their sophomore product. It's a watch, and if you know me, you know how bloody obsessed I am with watches. This watch is special. It's called Pebble. It's a smart watch, intended to connect via Bluetooth to a smart phone, such as an Android phone or an iPhone. The watch essentially becomes an extension of your smart phone.

The reason this is a big deal, is because unlike most other watches, this watch is under complete configurable control via a special app that resides on your smart phone. This means that if your smart phone can do something, your watch can participate in that functionality as well. Not only will the watch alert you in the same manner that your smart phone does, but the app controlling the watch on your phone allows for any number of watch faces to be applied to your watch. You can even use your watch to control some functions of your phone such as changing songs. Because a software development kit is available for this watch, if you have any programming experience you could technically create your own functions for your own watch. Apparently there will be an app store for this watch, which of course over time will offer more and more functions that your watch can perform. For me, this is beyond exciting. I have invested enough to achieve the reward of getting two of these watches when they are produced starting this September. I'll let you know what it's like once I get it. If you are interested in learning more about this product, just visit kickstarter.com and search on the word pebble (or follow the link above). They were originally just looking for a $100,000 investment by the middle of May, and as of this writing they were already over $10.1 million pledged. I think this speaks to the potential for this product to become one of the most popular new devices of 2012. Unfortunately, they have stopped offering any more watches to pledgers - probably because they have exceeded their initial investment request by a factor of 100. So if you want one, you'll need to wait until they are offered to the public. Estimates say they'll sell for $150.

Texting the alien #20

Texting the alien #19

Kalle Mattson

You're going to be hearing a lot more from me about a new group from Ontario called Kalle Mattson. I only heard about them because an old military buddy of mine's son is in the band. Now, sometimes you know how that goes, and I'm being brutally honest here - not every artist somehow associated with people you know are as good (to you) as the person makes them out to be.

But in this case, I am in fact blown away. We'll get to some of their songs in due course. I'm also lobbying to get an interview with them when they pass through Calgary later this summer.

In the meantime, enjoy this clever, lo-fi arts and crafts video for their song Thick as Thieves from the album Anchors. It's the history of the world y'all!

Metaphorical elevator

Amazon.ca versus Amazon.com

Same cherry pitter.

$32.41 in Canada.

$7.00 in the US.

Things I learned in the last 2 weeks 10 May 2012

• Patricia Reichardt is the real name of Peppermint Patty from Peanuts.
• Bibendum is the name of the Michelin Man.
• Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs is the Wizard of Oz.
• Nostradamus Shannon was better known as Bull on the TV show Night Court.
• Norville Rogers is the proper name of Shaggy from Scooby Doo.
• Twinkies originally had banana flavoured filling.
• The famous “I am stuck on Band-Aid…” jingle was written by Barry Manilow.
• The eight juices in V8 are tomato, spinach, celery, carrot, beet, lettuce, watercress and parsley.
• Anders Breivik, who killed 77 people during a rampage last summer, mentioned in court that he hated the song "Children of the Rainbow". 40,000 people then gathered in a square near the courthouse in Oslo to sing the song. 
• A Japanese bank will introduce ATMs that allow customers to carry out transactions after offering credentials in the form of a scan of their palm.
• A rich guy from Australia is going to build a working replica of the Titanic, but with modern features and safety equipment.
• Germany has more solar workers, than America has steel workers.
• The same person who sang “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” was also the voice of Tony the Tiger.
• Jay-walking is essentially a measure lobbied for by the auto industry to keep people off of streets.
• If you scaled a grapefruit up to the size of the earth, an atom would be the size of a blueberry.
• Trade unions were outlawed from the 14th century when the Ordinance of Labourers was enacted in the Kingdom of England. Unions would eventually be outlawed everywhere and remain so until the middle of the 19th century.
• An alternative school in Walla Walla, WA for kids with behavioural problems, ditched the zero-tolerance approach to school discipline and treated traumatized, furious kids with compassion and understanding with dramatic improvement.
• Star Wars Land is rumoured to be coming to Disneyland Paris sometime in 2015.
• TestPAC, founded on Reddit, aims to oust congressman Lamar Smith, who authored SOPA and rammed it through committee without substantive debate, after taking large campaign contributions from the entertainment industry.

Where's Jason

As opposed to 'Where's Waldo'.

Solar keyboard

I treated myself to a very indulgent item for my desk at work. I bought a solar powered wireless keyboard. Why? Because I can. It's made by Logitech and I found out it was severely discounted at Staples - so I bought one.

It's actually a nice keyboard. It's very thin, so it's easy to position on your desk and move around. It's powered by light, so you never have to change the batteries. I was hoping we had achieved solar efficiency that would not require the keyboard to have to operate under sun lamps and I was totally impressed with its ability to convert light into electricty. The keyboard's battery level and solar generating status can be monitored live using a utility downloaded from Logitech. I found that just being in any kind of light was enough to power this thing. I didn't just buy it for its show-off factor though. The keys have a very nice light tactile touch to them, which, considering the amount of typing I do at work, is wonderful.

The only problem I had with the K750 was its installation. It comes with a unifying wireless to USB adapter which is supposed to work with any Logitech wireless device. Since I also have a Logitech wireless mouse, I expected it to work with both. It did not. The two devices did not work with the mouse's Logitech unifying adapter either. So I ended up having to use - both unifying adapters - a bit of overkill. But it works. Amazingly, they don't interfere with each other.

....og

Movie recommendation - Nine Lives

A DVD that was languishing on the 'to be watched' shelf at my house, finally got its viewing last week and I need to mention it here. Nine Lives is a powerfully acted story in 'hyperlink cinema' fashion. It tells nine loosely intertwined tales about nine different women with their own collection of life issues and manner of dealing with them.

Themes include parent-child relationships, fractured love, adultery, illness, and death. These overlapping vignettes, each one running about the same length and told in a single, unbroken take, features a talented ensemble cast. Do yourself a favour - do not spoil the story by reading about it ahead of time.

10 word movie review for 500 days of Summer

Proof that a well-liked actress can do no wrong.

"If I give you my life, would you know what to do with it?"

Luc Besson.

Name ring a bell? Think Leon - The Professional and The Fifth Element. Those are only his most famous works, but he has been involved in a lot of movies. Including a little gem I discovered named Angel-A.

André owes money to everyone in Paris, including people who promise to kill him if he doesn't repay by midnight. André gives up and tries to leap off of a bridge to his death. He sees a beautiful girl clinging to a rail on the same bridge. She jumps and he saves her life. His life will never be the same.

Custom training is a must

Most people who have taken Excel or Word or Outlook training have often come away from it wondering if (or knowing that) they have missed something. That's because the typical Excel foundation course for example, basically flies through covering the Office button menu, glossing over things like the 'prepare' options, etc. Then you get a whirlwind tour of the Home tab of functions.

I have been known to conduct 1-2 hour sessions just on conditional formatting. My version of Excel training (that I offer where I work) consists of a foundation level course just to get everyone up to speed with the ribbon interface and the Office menu, but that's about it. Then there are workshops on things you would never learn thoroughly during a typical Excel course.

How to design a good spreadsheet and why the design is so critical. Will your document survive without you - all about leaving clues for spreadsheet users. Conditional formatting, an amazing way to add visualizations of analysis of your data. Pivot tables. Everything about charts. The various forms of document protection and how they differ. Converting a range into a table and why that can be great. Named ranges. Those are all separate workshops. That's just the Excel sessions.

So what's the point? If you want your employees to learn as much as possible about their productivity software, you're not going to get it from canned courses. You need custom training sessions. If you have your own on-site software trainer, you can have it.

No, those courses aren't available at Microsoft, that's just me having some fun.

Free poutine!

Apparently the student protesters in Quebec like their poutine.

I love hacking the news.

Yes, I did that....

Father Vader 4

FILDI (F%ck it let's do it)

Ze Frank is making videos again. In case anyone was missing him.

Start with An Invocation for Beginnings and work your way up the list.

"This is an invocation for anyone who hasn't begun, who's stuck in a terrible place between zero and one"

Chocolate bar introductions by year

[1900] Hershey bar
[1907] Hershey Kisses
[1908] Hershey bars with almonds
[1919] Nestle Milk Chocolate Bar
[1920] Baby Ruth & Oh Henry!
[1922] Charleston Chew, Clark Bars
[1923] Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Mounds
[1925] Mr. Goodbar
[1926] Milk Duds
[1928] Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger & Heath bar
[1929] Snickers
[1932] 3 Musketeers
[1935] Kit Kat bar
[1936] Fifth Avenue
[1937] Rolo, Smarties
[1941] M&Ms
[1947] Almond Joy
[1949] Junior Mints
[1954] Peanut M&Ms
[1966] $100,000 Bar
[1977] Twix Cookie Bar
[1978] Reese's Pieces

Father Vader 3

Mickey Mouse Curve

A nice graphic showing how copyright terms have evolved over the years. Back in 1810 for example, copyright term lasted just under 30 years. Period. The original term (not shown on the graph) was 14 years. Just after 1830, it was increased to over 40 years, but it also was retroactive back to works created in 1818. Look ahead to today, the Sonny Bono Act increased it to 105 years backdated to 1978 and 95 years backdated to 1923.

Do we really need to protect works for that long? Disney seems to think so. The latest copyright extensions protect Mickey's Steamboat Willie clip until at least 2023!

Forget pop tarts....

I think I've seen it all now. Toaster chicken. For reals.

When they legalize pot and I open my Mr. Munchie trucks business - I will be selling these.

Father Vader 2

Netherlands weed laws regressing (for now)

I've been hearing all of the right-wing pundits pointing at recent developments in The Netherlands as proof de-criminalizing marijuana won't work in Canada. I had to investigate to see what was really going on.

The actual problem is that certain cities such as Maastricht, which borders both Belgium and Germany has been suffering a constant flow of a million plus non-Dutch driving to the city annually to purchase as much cannabis as possible, then drive back home. After numerous complaints and also as the result of a shift toward right-leaning government, a policy barring tourists from buying marijuana started in parts of the country today.

Some background: Weed is technically illegal in the Netherlands, but has been sold openly for decades in small amounts in designated "coffee shops" under the country's tolerance policy. With the policy change, only holders of a "weed pass" are allowed to make a purchase. Non-residents aren't eligible for the pass - which effectively bans tourists. The new policy doesn't go into effect in Amsterdam until next year. Amsterdam is home to a third of the country's coffee shops. The city opposes the new policy and since the conservative national government collapsed last week, time will tell whether the policy will last after elections are held.

Back in Maastricht, most shops plan to refuse to use the pass and kept their doors shut in protest today, but at least one shop is provoking the police to do something about their non-compliance. The plan is to challenge the new law in court as a form of discrimination. The mayor feels the closed shops are being rude. Most other cities in the area are protesting with closed shops or are defying the law. The residents aren't getting the passes either, figuring that the law will only be temporary until sense is restored to society. They're also afraid of privacy concerns over the information needed to get a pass.

A former chairman of the Netherlands' Police Union believes the policy's negative effects will outweigh any benefits and enforcement would waste resources. Anyone unable to get marijuana will walk down the street to drug dealers. Ironically, the reason the Dutch tolerance policy started in the 1970s was not because marijuana was OK, but because containing it in shops seemed like a decent way to deal with the issues caused by street dealing.