Small things 16 Aug

• I wonder which does more for kids: Posting the 10 commandments in classrooms or giving kids free breakfast and lunch.
• Fresh black goth corn. Better known as: corn on the macabre
• Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you’re making bad life choices.
• Just remember, free speech works both ways. If you are free to say something awful, people are also free to call you out for saying something awful.
• Does Baby Yoda imply the existence of a Sporty Yoda, a Posh Yoda, a Ginger Yoda and a Scary Yoda?
• Great insult: If laziness were an Olympic sport, you’d purposely come in 4th so you wouldn’t have to walk to the podium.
• Contrary to movie portrayals, military members don’t pull the grenade pin with their teeth.
• “Mom, did you want a boy or a girl?”  “I just wanted a back rub.”
• I bought a book on how to scam people. I still haven’t received it after 3 months.
• So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
• It’s sad when you go to the store to buy organic vegetables and come home with regular donuts.
• To all the people who said I’d never amount to anything: I’m only 63. Just you wait.