Friday, August 02, 2024

Small talk

That feeling you get when a restaurant hostess walking you to your table asks, “So, how’s your day going so far?” Some things I could say to throw them off their game:

“Well, the divorce is final, so there’s that…”

“I’m not in a sharing mood, sorry.”

“Kinda shitty, thanks for asking.”

“OMG great now! I’ve been waiting all day to have some small talk with someone - anyone. How’s your day going?”

[in a mocking voice] “So how’s your day going so far?”

“Please. I have a severe allergy to insincerity.”

“Thankfully, it’s almost over. Please don’t make it any longer than it has to be.”


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