Small things 17 May

• It’s likely a fact that every new Toronto sports team will win a championship before the Leafs win one again.
• A guy at the bar pulls out a credit card with a Maple Leafs hockey team logo on it. Someone says “I guess you’re only buying the first round, eh?” Too soon?
• Explaining to kids that back in the day, if you wanted to know about something, you consulted the encyclopedia and read 20 year old facts about that thing, unless you were missing the specific volume containing that thing. In that case, you were left ignorant.
• I wonder how many people who make a 3-point turn think they just earned 3 points each time.
• I know I’m not crazy, nor am I blind. But my mouse pointer will disappear somewhere in my two monitor screens for no reason and I will need to use the PowerToys feature ‘Find my mouse’ to be able to find it again.
• "Anybody here named "Jeff?"  Jeff: "Yes."  Geoff: "Yeos."
• The fancy restaurant name for a PB&J: Peanut puree and fruit confiture served with pain blanc.
• Emojis are just 21st century hieroglyphs.
• Mercedes has 3 ‘e’s, all pronounced differently.
• Do giraffes even know what farts smell like?
• I know people who don’t so much have a type as have a pattern.
• Someone saw bread. “Cook it again.” Someone saw toast. “One more time.” Someone saw croutons. Put that in salad. It needs to be crunchy.
• Lasagna = pasta layer cake.
• Family generations successively having fewer and fewer kids is called a receding heirline.