Small things 26 Apr

• If an ideology doesn’t stand up to critical thought it doesn’t get a participation award. ~Shannon Leahy (in response to headline “Danielle Smith wants ideology 'balance' at universities. Alberta academics wonder what she's tilting at. Premier muses about new provincial research programs to produce more conservative thought.”)
• Do you like the sound of the band The Black Crowes? Then go check out the band that invented the sound in the 70s - Humble Pie.
• Shortest joke in the English language: "Pretentious? Moi?"
• A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." A voice from the back of the room pipes up, "Yeah, right."
• What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.
• Waldo as a horror film: “Find him… before he finds you.”
• I propose a new law, the “CEO Severance Cap” law. It would decree that CEOs cannot be given, on their departure, more than one month's salary for every year they were CEO for that company. So If a CEO made $5 million a year and had served for 3 years, they’d still get a tidy $1.25 million, but that’s it. No additional bonuses, share buyouts, nothing. If you’re let go with cause, all bets are off. You get nada.
• Just once I’m going to run out of IKEA into the parking lot yelling “Start the car! Start the car!”