Small things 15 Mar

• This is the point in the seasons when the cyclists are wishing the snow and ice would disappear and the skiers are wishing the snow would stay.
• If you make a pie chart of how much of a butt is cheeks and how much is crack, make the cheeks part white and the crack part black, and then rotate the diagram to point the crack downward well, just use your damned imagination.
• The song ‘Mambo No 5’ but instead of girls' names, it’s varieties of cheese.
• How is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean exactly the same thing?
• There would only be one ‘take your cat to work day.’
• "To know how good you are at something, requires exactly the same skills as it does to be good at that thing in the first place. Which means - and this is terribly funny - that if you're absolutely no good at something, at all, then you lack exactly the skills that you need to know that you're absolutely no good at it." ~John Cleese
• Never attack the person, only their argument.
• What do you call a woman who was cremated? Ashley.
• Drink water in front of your plants to remind them who’s boss.
• Next time you’re going to roast some marshmallows over a fire, just bring a rake. It has lots of tips. You’ll figure it out.
• Errogant: adj. When you’re completely wrong, but very sure of yourself.
• In interview: “What’s your biggest flaw?” “Oh. It’s that I’m too shy to speak about my biggest flaw.”
• There’s a chance that on career day at school, some dad is going to come in and talk about his crypto investments.