Small things 26 Jan

• Calgary: It always feels intensely like spring on the last day of winter, and intensely like winter on the first day of spring.
• Were they not a little worried they might jinx themselves when they named it a ‘miss’ile?
• "If man is to survive, he will learn to take a delight in the essential differences between cultures.
• To learn that differences in ideas and attitudes are a delight, part of life's exciting variety, not something to fear."  ~Gene Roddenberry (creator of Star Trek)
• Have you ever accidentally farted in front of people. You know, the kind that sounds like a balloon animal asking a question?
• Autoexec.bat and config.sys. If you know what those are, you’re probably old. And nerdy. But old.
• “I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized.”  ~Mitch Hedberg
• Men sure liked to bare their chests in the 1970s. Go ahead - Google it, I’ll wait.
• Mental note: Actual notes work better than mental notes.
• The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them.
• If you’ve never had butter chicken before, please note that the name does not in any way describe what it’s like to eat it. It would more aptly be named Hell chicken. Fire in the hole. The chicken that burns twice.
• The next time you’re out driving, think about this. Those other people driving their cars and trucks, living their own lives, are all the lead characters in their own worlds, but just extras in ours.

“I order a club sandwich all the time. And I'm not even a member. I don't know how I get away with it. 

A:"I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." 

B: "So do I." 

A: "Let's form a club then." 

B: "Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulations." 

A: "Yes we do." 

B: "OK... instead of cutting it once, let's cut it again." 

A: "Yeah, four triangles." 

B: "And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips." 

A: "Or potato salad." 

B: "Ok." 

A: "Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?" 

B: "I'm for 'em!" 

A: "Well, this club is formed. Spread the news on menus nationwide." 

C: "I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts." 

B: "Well you're not in the fucking club!" 

~Mitch Hedberg