Small things 20 Jan

• When your spouse tells you about something bad you did in their dream, as if it’s somehow your fault and you’re going to apologize.
• Whenever the barber is done cutting my hair and shows the back holding the little mirror, I want to say ridiculous things like, “Sensible.” “You missed a spot.” “I don’t look like Jon Hamm tho.” “That’s looking like a 25% discount to me.” “Never leave me.”
• Black Friday. Basically a mosh pit with prizes.
• I’m old enough now that birthdays don’t really mean that much to me anym… CARROT CAKE!? Damn right it’s my birthday.
• I don’t get chocolate advertising. Who still needs convincing to buy chocolate?
• Penguins produce an oil that helps their feathers retain heat. In other words, the oily bird gets the warm.
• I went to the silly goose convention, and they knew all you guys!
• My neighbour’s water bill is quite high. I got them a get well soon card. [dad joke]
• The older I get, the more I comprehend the concept of separate bedrooms for sleeping.
• If white people are so great, why would they need an organization to protect their greatness?
• Am I the only one who is disenchanted when people only seem to look at the down side of everything?
• I’m looking forward to the non-judgment day.
• How many of you have diagnosed a CPU that is, rather than on one chip, spread out across many integrated circuits on multiple riser boards that plug into a motherboard like an expansion card? [I raise my hand]