Small things 15 Dec

• Nothing made me laugh as much so far this season as watching Jack Black sing Silent Night in the style of death metal.
• Me: May I have the medium-rare bread with the butter glaze? Server: You mean buttered toast?
• Is it just me, or are the same positions in which a woman gets pregnant also suitable for child delivery?
• When you line up your mouse pointer to click on a link you want to follow and another ad loads on the web page and pushes the link down the page, replacing it with an ad link just as you click.
• "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."  ~Alvin Toffler
• It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
• "We have a deficit of wonder. When I ask people questions now, they get out their phone. I say, noooo! I don't want to know the answer. I just wanna wonder about it awhile.”  ~ Tom Waits
• SNOWFLAKE? "Yes, I've heard this term. I think sociopaths use it to discredit the notion of empathy."  ~ John Cleese
• My dream job? The spokesperson at a bicycle shop.
• The microwave has a window. The oven too. Same with the clothes washer. What’s up with the dishwasher? What’s going on in there that we’re not allowed to see?
• It should be illegal to make hot chocolate with water. Milk. Always.