Small things 10 Nov

• Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy wants to build a border wall with Canada. I can’t wait to see the wall needed to cover Lake Superior, Lake Huron, Lake Erie and Lake Ontario.
• Your car will never make that noise for the mechanic. Your car is like "That's our special noise. I only make that noise for you."
• Midwest culture is putting your paper plate upside down in the trash, so you don't offend whoever made the stuff you didn't eat.
• Just wait until conspiracy theorists discover they're part of a conspiracy to use conspiracy theorists to spread disinformation via conspiracy theories.
• Nothing says you're older more than sending a text after a night out that says "Oh, here's that soup recipe I was talking about."
• Do crabs think that fish are flying?
• Trails look a lot flatter on the map.
• Getting old sometimes means waiting too long to have a good text comeback, so you forget about it, and have to wear the shame of not responding to your friends in a timely manner.
• If your favourite outdoor activity is getting your parcels at the door and bringing them in, you might need to get out more.
• How many grocery bags you thought to bring into the store is inversely proportional to how many items you finally bring to the cashier.
• I bet every ‘fast-paced, dynamic team’ you apply to work with turns out to be neither.
• I get my medical marinara at an Italian restaurant.
• Have you ever been driving the speed limit somewhere thinking to yourself, “They can’t be serious.”?