Small things 27 Oct

• You know how you’ll take a photo of your spouse and they’ll be like “Delete that right now.”? Did it work like that when all we did was make paintings of other people? Did the painter spend days or even weeks painting the Madame only for her to say, “No, I’m sorry, you have to delete that. That is NOT going up on our great wall.”?
• Every once in a while I’ll see a cab that is really banged up and I think, “There’s no way I’d get in that car…”
• The other day a bee accidentally made it into an open window in our car and unwittingly hitched a ride to our place. He kept trying to get out through the closed back door window and I finally coaxed it into just flying out the open door. I felt so bad for it because it was now in a strange neighbourhood really far from where it had been earlier, and our local bees don’t treat dumb bees with a lot of respect.
• Interviewer: “So, tell me a little about yourself.” Bob: “I’d rather not. I kinda need this job.”
• British websites use biscuits.
• At my next job I’m going to tell the interviewer that I was once head of operations at Canada 3000. Who are they gonna call?
• Someone should invent a mirror to place on the back of the car, so that if the person behind has their high beams on, it will reflect right into their eyes.
• I believe that the most commonly asked question in a marriage is “What do you feel like for dinner?”
• The war on drugs didn’t succeed. Neither has the war on terror.
• When I heard Taylor Tomlinson basically say that homophobia is just a sign that a person hasn’t gotten all their software updates yet. Nice.
• It’s time to teach the zipper merge to teens in school, then in 5 years make it the law.
• I’m not saying he’s a technophobe, but if he got on the information superhighway, he’d be roadkill by the next exit.
• It’s a requirement for vehicles to be road-worthy, but not for roads to be vehicle-worthy.
• I prefer macaroons to macarons.