Small things 20 Oct

• OK, I’m confused. I can still buy Halloween candy, but I can only buy Christmas decorations now?
• Any day now, goodbye pumpkin spice season, hello peppermint bark season.
• It always amazes me when I don’t go to a particular restaurant for years, and when I finally go back, they still remember my exact order.
• We’re at the point of inflation where we look at the grocery receipt and think, “Damn, I could go out for a meal for this much.” Then you go out for a meal and think, “WTH! $27 for a plate of chicken fingers and fries!?”
• #1 on to-do list if elected PM: No more homeless military veterans.
• Do you know what I love most about asking ChatGPT for a recipe? Not having to wait for it to finish with its back story about its childhood or their mom.
• I follow the McDonald's diet. Yeah, every time I get a craving for ice cream I just go to McDonalds.
• If you keep a diary, just fill it with lies. Go nuts with exaggerations too. When you die and others discover your diary, it will be hilarious.
• Sometimes being an adult sucks. When you buy new running shoes, nobody ever asks to see you how fast you can run in them.
• Why does the doctor knock before coming into the examination room? Are they practising the possibility of doing house calls?
• Most group chats birth a smaller group chat without the annoying people. If you think your group isn’t like that, I have some bad news.
• If you search Google images for corgi shorts by accident instead of cargo shorts, you won’t be disappointed.
• You wanna know how to hold a strike? Or organize a protest? Go visit Paris. They have that shit down to an art.