Small things 18 Aug

• I have no idea why, I’m not even American, but the funniest thing appeared in my Facebook feed: “Renouncing US Citizenship - Questions answered live!”
• Things appropriate to say to children, but not to adults: “Look at you, you got so big!” “You’re not leaving the table until you eat those vegetables.” “When you pay the rent, you can start making the rules.”
• Drive your passengers insane by tying a harmonica to the underside of your vehicle and pretending like you don’t hear anything when you’re whizzing down the road. Just be sure to face it the right way.
• U-Haul has the worst drivers of any trucking company.
• Name for a dad blog: “Oops, I dad it again.”
• It figures that there’s no show and tell when you’re an adult. I have so much cooler stuff now.
• Am I tempting fate if I let my Roomba loose on my Ouija board pattern throw rug?
• If you own a cat and it sees you accidentally knock a cup onto the floor, you have to spray yourself with water. You know, to show that the rule applies to everyone.