- Oh look! GM is killing another electric car. [slow clap](They’re cancelling the Bolt in favour of SUVs)
- Are you afraid of AI? It helps to remember that autocorrect is a form of AI. There, see? It doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?
- I wonder how many customers of flanker mobile brands such as Fido, Koodo and Virgin realize that they do not get 5G service at all.
- I'm old enough to remember dial-up but young enough to rage-quit any website that takes longer than 5 seconds to load.
- Netflix era kids will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom or fridge during a commercial break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming "It's ONNNNNN" to send you running to get back in time.
- Just remember, without his cookies, he’s just a monster.
- Van Camp’s. Bush’s. B&M. Serious Bean Co. Brands that only make baked beans.
- If Satan punishes bad people in hell, doesn’t that make him a good person?
- No, it’s not true that they check if the Pope is dead by hitting him in the head three times with a silver hammer. It’s a myth.
- I’m going to start a club dedicated to removing ham from club sandwiches.
me: [trying to look up the hamburglar's full name] shut up!
God: a colour is named after you!
Salmon: no way! really? is it silvery blue like my scales?
God: uh—
Salmon: wait, why is it pink?
God: …
Salmon: WHY IS IT PINK?
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