Small things 4 Mar

• Birds everywhere are trying hard not to look like a balloon.
• Do you ever hear a party in the neighbourhood, and you’re like aw crap, but then you realize they’re playing Led Zeppelin and you think, no problem, they’re old. They’ll be done by 10.
• I am very grateful that I have enough money to pay my bills. Truly. If I can continue doing this, that will be grand.
• A paperback is a soft hard copy. An e-book on a tablet is a hard soft copy.
• Wearing Carhartt work gear is a vague fashion statement. Are you a student? A hipster? A licensed forklift operator? Nobody knows!
• When you’re at The Keg and you’re so damned full from your meal but then the server says they’re going to comp you dessert and you’re suddenly like “I’m in!”
• “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, Emerson in His Journal (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1982), 206 (entry for Nov. 8, 1838)
• You’re never going to feel good about your to-do list unless you put stuff on there that you’re actually going to do. Start small. Things like ‘wake up’, ‘take a dump’ and ‘have breakfast’ are perfectly valid entries and will make you feel great about yourself.
• Dumb single guy wanted to try the carbon dating app.
• Dear card reader manufacturers: Pick a spot to tap our cards on and make that the spot for ALL READERS. That is all.
• Dear AI researchers: The first AI application needs to be grocery self checkout machines. Make it your next mission that we never have to hear the words “Unknown item in bagging area” ever again. Also, how about it asks for our loyalty card right away, or just waits until the end of scanning all the items.
• Do you ever swear at the thing you dropped like it’s the thing’s fault?
• A guide to eating fish in the workplace:  Swedish fish: YES.  Goldfish crackers: YES.  All other fish: NOPE