Friday, January 06, 2023

Small things 6 Jan

  • In 2023 I’m gonna be unstable.  Unstoppable! Damn you autocorrect!
  • For crying out loud people, the phrase is “nipped it in the bud.” No butts were nipped.
  • Why would anybody let Jesus take the wheel? He cannot possibly have a driver’s license. Sorry Jesus. Not my car. Also, “Who was driving at the time of the accident?” “Uh, Jesus.”
  • Felinetrovert (n): a person who prefers the company of cats to people.
  • In Canada we have a ‘saying sorry unnecessarily’ jar.
  • If you’re the kind of person who gets into long term feuds with people, just don’t get into any group photos.
  • Stresslaxing (v): being stressed that relaxing makes you more stressed because you’re not doing the thing that’s making you stressed.
  • We now have 3 Tim Hortons locations less than 2.5 kilometres from our house. 

1992: Don’t swallow the mouthwash!

2002: Just put this mouthwash strip in your mouth, let it dissolve, and swallow.

No comments: