Small things 4 Nov

• When Darlene insists that I order first at a restaurant, I know right then that she’s going to order dessert for her meal.
• Uber Eats - Weed - If you’re rolling, we’re rolling
• The phrase “I will not elaborate” has probably never been uttered from my lips.
• Also “Allow me to elaborate so that I can forget my original point in 60 seconds or less.”
• Did you hear about the guy who had a vasectomy because he didn’t want any kids? But then he went home and they were still there!
• Had a debate with a flat earther. He said, “I’ll walk to the edge of the earth to prove you wrong.” He’ll come around… 
• As you get older, you suffer humiliating micro-injuries. “How did you hurt yourself?” “I slept wrong.” “I drank water too fast.” “While I was driving, I happened to yawn while turning my head to check my blind spot.” “I sneezed too hard.” “I raised my hand to scratch my head and whacked my hand against the door frame.”
• Shows I’d like to see: Thomas the X-Wing Fighter.
• Never mind the chicken or the egg question. I don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. I want to know why other things also taste like chicken. And are we really being served chicken?