Small things 12 March

• "If you didn't hear it from the horse's mouth, stop listening to the ass that told you!"
• When is my next account payment due? That's an appropriate security question to talk to a credit card customer on the phone? Yeah, because this is definitely something everyone has on hand...
• Effective listening skills - a heard mentality....
• (_8(|) Homer
• Boomer: "You have no dignity." Gen Xer: "It's pronounced no diggity."
• Hot pockets are false advertising. They are not sold hot. You have to supply the heat.
• Like Nascar, politicians should have to wear jackets with the names of everyone who's sponsoring them financially.
• It's not boxed wine. It's Cardboardeaux.
• The Darth Vader action figure must come with a warning: "This toy is a choking hazard." Am I right?
• Why do billionaires care if they get taxed more? They'll just make it back and then some with their amazing work ethic, right?
• If you suffered in life, and want other people to endure suffering because 'you turned out fine', you did not in fact turn out fine.
• Once you burn off your winter fat, you're left with spring rolls.