Small things 8 January

• I figured that with all of our cold weather, we would finally reach a temperature where men would no longer wear shorts. I was wrong.
• I don't understand why the Justice League needs a plane. They can all fly or go fast! Well, except Batman...
• When Darth Vader makes toast, it's always a bit on the dark side.....
• Pillows of chicken topped with aged cheddar blended with tubular pasta with a tomato puree. Or as you'd call it: chicken nuggets with KD and ketchup on top.
• I'm not grossed out about haggis. I'm grossed out that someone once upon a time decided to try making haggis.
• Save $700 at Nordstroms by not going inside.
• Pie is 78% delicious and 22% also delicious.
• Invite someone to your office by phone or email. When they arrive, turn around in your chair and say, "I've been expecting you."
  
  
  
• Mars is the only planet inhabited solely by robots. But not for too much longer.
• Be nice to your stylist because what's stopping them from plucking one of your hairs and putting it at the crime scene? Nothing.
• Have you ever randomly cried because you've been holding shit in too long? Fiber helps.
• Maybe not a good idea to use the Marie Kondo method if you're chronically depressed. (Does this spark joy? No)
• Let's invent a method of travel that gets people to their destination faster by flying them at high speed in the sky. Also you will wait forever in many lines to get on the plane. And you will be packed like sardines. And the food will not be free. Nor will it be tasty. And you may never see your luggage again. But happy travels.
• The Snyder's Cut of Justice League may have set a bad precedent. It's just a matter of time before Peter Jackson releases Lord of the Rings Uncut. It will be 5.5 days long.
• Did it hurt? When I told you to Google it and I was right?