Small things 28 January

• Whenever I buy a shirt for myself, I always get burned on one detail - no pocket. I have no use for a shirt with no pocket. Yet they haunt my shopping. Down with pocketless shirts!
• Butt dial. Booty call. Sound similar but are not.
• Anger and despair are the breeding ground of violence and extremism. The answer is to heal the minds of those filled with anger and despair. And to give them hope and love.
• Ghost cheeks: When you sit down on the toilet and feel the warmth of the previous occupant's butt cheeks.
• I don't think I've ever heard a straight man ever utter the words, "Can you believe she's wearing that same outfit again?"
• I'm not needy. I'm wanty.
• But mama, that's where the fun is...
• There's only one letter on a pirate's eye test chart.
• You know when you buy a bag of lettuce and it eventually gets all brown and soggy? Cookies don't do that.
• What do you call bears with no ears? B
• What do you call a bee from America? USB
• What do you call a belt with a clock on it? A waist of time.
• What do you get when a chicken lays eggs on a hilltop? Eggrolls
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.