Small things 30 July

• Poorly explain what you do for a living: Assist people who don't know how to Google
• From now on, every time you look at Tesla's logo, you'll see a cat's nose.
• Apparently there is no reason to make athletes wear revealing outfits to play a sport well.
• Any time minimum wage comes up, 60% of America is like, "But - what about McDonald's profit margins?"
• I wouldn't want to live on planet 'gummy'. Their worms are bigger than their bears!
• We found watermelon, but what about airmelon, firemelon, and earthmelon? We need all the elemelons.
• Garlic is an anticoagulant. Eating garlic to ward off vampires is likely propaganda by vampires to make humans bleed more efficiently. That or Italian vampires started the rumour to get humans to season themselves properly.
• Roses are red, violets are VIOLET!

Dad 1 (sees Dad 2 coming): "Oh no! Here comes trouble!"

Dad 2: "Oh boy, they let you out of the house?"

Dad 1 & Dad 2: [laugh hysterically]