Small things 21 May

• Anyone who is viciously opposed to socialism can forward their CPP, OAS, EI and CERB cheques to me. I am willing to do my part to curb the spread of socialism.
• If you smack someone upside the head with a giant inflated 3-fingered cartoon hand, is that still considered assault? Asking for a friend.....
• Is 'dude' a gender-neutral pronoun?
• You're often one decision away from a totally different life.
• I think the ultimate indicator that you're living in 2021 is ordering McDonalds using Skip the Dishes and when you get your order, the delivery guy says "Sorry, but the ice cream machine is broken".
• For fun, keep the grocery checkout conveyor divider thingy with your stuff as if you want to buy it. When the clerk puts it aside, keep taking it and adding it to your stuff.
• If you ate 5 apples before going to the doctor's office, would the doctor even be able to enter the examining room?
• Many scientists are on the autistic spectrum. So you could say that autism causes vaccines...
• Eaton's. Woolworth's. Zeller's. Discus. Woolco. Sam the Record Man. A&A Records. A&B Sound. Kmart. SAAN. Towers. Simpsons. Consumers Distributing. Honest Ed's. Ogilvy's. #GoneCdnStores
• When all you could watch was live TV and you had to run to get a bathroom break in before the show came back on. #AncientTVRituals
• When you'd try to download an mp3 over dialup from an IRC channel, and after an hour and 96%, someone in the house would pick up the phone and start dialing a number. #DialupAdventures #1998problems