- It won't be long now before bingo nights are standing room only.
- Research shows that Amish people have much lower rates of cyber-bullying.
- Do dogs understand elevators, or are they just like "OK it's time to get into the world changer..."
- Samsung's new fridge will ping your phone if you leave the fridge door open. Couldn't they have just made it close its own door?
- We can send a rover to Mars but we can't figure out how to prevent clothes from catching on door knobs and door handles.
- The best part of waking up is looking over at the clock and seeing that you still have 3 hours of sleep before you have to get up.
- When people say, "You don't LOOK sick." or, "He doesn't LOOK autistic."
- My mock Nike shirt would say "I can't even..."
- So we have cannabis infused beverages now. There will eventually come a day when they put cocaine back into Coke.
Q. If you could have dinner with a famous celebrity, alive or dead, which would it be?
A. Alive.
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