- Daft Punk disbanded. It would have been better if they had just passed their helmets on to two random new artists. Then all the Daft Punk fans would be confused and wondering what's with the sudden change in Daft Punk music and the original duo could sit back and laugh their asses off.
- In June 2020, Trump signed an executive order asking prosecutors to throw the book at people who commit "willful injury" of federal property, with a possible 10 year prison sentence. So, Trump's supporters at the Capitol riots may have to do hard jail time because of their leader's own executive order.
- The hardest part about watching the highlights of America's CPAC 2021 is having to keep reminding myself that these people are serious. It's not a parody. Starting with that multiple-key rendition of the American national anthem.
- Charcuterie boards are just expensive Lunchables.
"Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
"Yes we arson."
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